what would you like your funeral to look like?

Question

music, poetry, decorations, theme, colour code, after-party, things along these lines that you would like to happen.

Answer 1

It would happen in a cold Midwest church house. The whole town (minus those who aren't my friends) would be invited. Everyone in the pews would be wearing either green or blue wristbands to differentiate between my close and closest friends (reason soon revealed). They would all be tired from shoveling snow early that morning, I hope. That would help demonstrate their loyalty to me. Despite their exhaustion, they would still have enough energy to publicly mourn my death in earnest--and with gusto!

I see my friends (no family, please) wailing and sobbing. I can tell they really miss me. Like, A LOT. The ceremony would take the better part of the morning and maybe even the afternoon, so afterwords, at the reception, only saltine crackers would be served; my favorite snack, and minute maid fruit punch with a hint of Potters vodka; my favorite drink. But hopefully everyone wont eat so much that they stop being hungry. They probably have plenty of porridge at home to eat anyhow.

The decor would be dark, somber, morose, black--consuming emptiness, if possible. No flowers; just very depressing. Candlelight only--no artificial light. Every now and then a cold breeze would follow a tardy arrival into the room and blow out a candle. The alter boy would then scurry to close the door and relight it. His cute butt would be bouncing in the air and across the room like a bunny rabbit. Pffffff ... hmm.

There would be a live cellist or violinist or both, and they would be wearing black veils because I dont know them and their identities should not be revealed to anyone else because of the ancient Christian funeral ceremony rigmarole protocol thingy. Upholding family values, we call them, is the priority here.

While Barber's Adagio for Strings plays as slowly and as expressively as possible, the peasants, rather, hired help, rather, sopping-wet tear buckets, rather, my dearest friends who know me best would all tell stories about my great achievements and successes: About the time I flew to Japan to help people rebuild the shoe factories that were damaged by the hurrricane; about the time I bought the Russian gymnast a kidney; and the time I grossed half a billion in a month rebuilding Iraq. They would appropriately stop and collect themselves every few moments. I would look down with pride for what an admirable and noble life I had cultivated and what wonderful friends made me who i am today.

Then when its all over, as stated in my will, the gift giving shall commence. Every man, regardless of wristband color, will get a Thai boy to hold and love and every woman will receive a diamond locket containing a picture of me with my canine life partner Rusty.

Rusty, by the way, my best best BEST friend, shall also be present in the ceremony, unleashed of course, such that he may freely sniff about as he pleases.

Upon exit, my second tier friends (blue wristband) shall get Wal-mart gift cards while tier one friends will get Hard rock cafe coffee mugs filled with stock tips. Very valuable! It sure pays to be a green wristbander! I dunno, for me i guess funerals are about celebrating the life of the Texas Oil man who leaves behind an enchanting legacy of high class perfection. I just hope my detractors finally learn how important I was, and how much worse off the world would be without me. I hope they attend the funeral and pay homage to the American Dream that I promoted and personified.

Answer 2

I won't have a funeral. By the time people find out I'm dead, I will be ashes. My children will have my urn at home, my friends will be sitting with them laughing, listening to my favorite music and telling each other how thoroughly impossible I was.

Yeah, they'll cry a bit I suppose, but I'm enough of a clown that their tears will be mixed with laughter. They know we'll see each other again and that I'll be keeping an eye out to make sure they stay safe and above all that they behave :)

Answer 3

Well I would like the song "All We Are Is Dust In The Wind" played. Someone that knew me the best delivering a eulogy with some seriousness but also humour. Roses - lots of them and different colours. A picture of me - one that makes me look younger hopefully. (Vanity even when dead) No burial under ground, my ashes better be sprinkled over a large body of water, the ocean preferably.

Answer 4

I have it in my will, already scheduled that if/when I go.... there is to be a party to end all parties..

No crying... no weeping... just celebrate life the way I have done each day I have been on this planet.

The only odd thing I have scheduled in particular so far is the song I want played as they put me in the ground: Pink Floyds "Comfortably Numb"....

Let the party begin!

Answer 5

I hope a celebration of my life, lots of music, mostly the John Cale song Hallelujah, pansies, and soft colors...

**I've noticed some have gone thru and given thumbs up or down, this is just the kind of question where you express yourself, no one needs to judge...for heavens sake if you don't like someones idea of what they'd like to have at a funeral who are you to judge?

Answer 6

heres a narrative it somewhat is i comprehend is weird and wonderful. yet i assume it truly got here approximately. years in the past. this guy develop into working at a funeral homestead. then he have been given married. on the evening of his wedding ceremony. he informed his spouse that she needed to place in ice water contained in the bathtub and then get the physique chilly. that develop into the only way that he could make like to her. found out that he develop into molesting each and all the lifeless physique's. she divorced him day after right this moment.

Answer 7

I really wouldn't care because I'd be dead, but my ideal funeral would have a few favorite hymns featuring duets and alto singing, a poem about thunder, yellow roses and white lilies, blue and yellow theme, lots of potatoes and salad, and uh... pictures of all my friends and pets, not just ugly old me :P

Answer 8

A quiet and noiseless cremation with only a handful of people around and an e-mail message to all my acquaintances about my death.No ceremonies !!!

Answer 9

i dont want a funeral because i am going to be cremated. i would appreciate a wake however. all of my friends and family eating, drinking and reminiscing about me and all of my goofy antics over the years.

Answer 10

id like an after party..evrnyone getting sloshed and having a good time.i wouldnt want anyone to mourn over me..as id be going to a better place than this hell hole called earth..