my husband is talking on the phone and hanging out with his female co-workers after work?

Question

I have just finished giving birth to my son who is just 1 month and 3 weeks old. I do not know if its my "mother figure" or my current appareance that is making my husband lies to me about his female co-workers.

My husband and I had a huge fight about this girl named Winnie (who interned at his workplace) 2 weeks before I went into labor. He called her a lot (although each phone call only lasted a few minutes) and he emailed her saying stuff about his likings and he wishes they can keep in touch. He got mad at me for looking through his email account and phone. I only did it is because he was acting a little weird.

Until now, he still talks to Winnie. He said she was hired for the weekened (my hubby works on weekend too) and then got fired recently. Now, my hubby is talking to another girl named Sara who is working on the weekend too.

Tonight, I missed my hubby call. When I got a chance to call him back, it went straight to voice mail. I called him 4 times.

They all went to voicemail. I automatically suspect he is talking on the phone with someone else and he is ignoring my calls.

I heard someone talking infront of my house so I went over to the window and looked downstair and saw my hubby is talking on the phone with someone. I didnt know why he's not coming in and continue talking on the phone instead.

When he finally came in to the house after being on the phone for a LONG LONG time, I asked why didnt he pick up my calls cause I needed to ask him if he wants dinner I was going to order out. He said "oh, I didnt get your calls. So many people called me, it was Sara, Mark, then my dad." I believed him but I still wasnt sure. So I looked at his phone recieved call list, no one called him except me and his dad which he didnt pick up. But on the dialled list, he called Sara and they were on the phone for 54 minutes. I doubt they were talking about work related subject. I think my hubby likes her eventho he told me she has a bf.

My hubby told me Sara is our age (early 20s), asian like us, but her bf is indian and he is 30 something. As long as she is not married, it still means her option is still open. Is it right for my hubby to talk to another like that and lies to me about it? Or am I thinking too much? Can guy and girl become friends?

I am scared to confront him because he is going to say I am too nosy looking through his phone. how else should i open up with him?

my hubby also have crazy addition on internet porn!! I think he mastubate everynight after me and my baby went to sleep. Unfortunately, he is doing it in the same room where we sleep.

am i thinking too much or not trusting my hubby enough?

Answer 1

You need to sit down and have a serious chat with your husband.

Answer 2

The birth of a child is a life altering event for both mom and dad. He may be missing the days when life was carefree and he didn't have any responsibilties or cares. Maybe he is trying to recapture his youth. Some people are addicted to the feelings that come from meeting someone new and sharing hopes and dreams with this person. I guess in an essence if he is sharing intimate thoughts and dreams with these other women, he is cheating. Maybe not physically but emotionally he is. You need to have a talk with him. He should be taking this time to bond with the baby and help you. I don't think it has anything to do with you physically, I think it is him. Maybe now he thinks of you as mother and wife and has forgotten you are a woman. Sometimes once a woman has a baby, her husband seems to forget that she is still a woman. Does that make sense? I wish you the best of luck. This should be a joyous time in your life. I hope everything works out for you and your husband so you can give your baby everything he deserves.

Answer 3

I would be very upset if my husband was talking to another woman on the phone. You better start getting it straight with him now or you are going to have trouble in your marriage. It is ok to be friends with a co worker but talking on the phone for such a long time would worry me some as well. If I were you I would call the other woman and tell her to leave your husband alone. You should also confront your husband and tell him to stop. The masterbation thing is just sick to be doing that when your child is around I don't care what age the child is. You should have a back up plan just in case he is interested in this girl. I know your a new mommy but you can do it on your own if you are willing to try.

Answer 4

I think you may have a problem ! Also in marriage there are certain manners or ways of treating each other with respect .Your hubby has stepped way over the line .Whats more he is doing it right in front of you .How stupid does he think you you are ? How many times have I heard of this happening while women are pregnant or the first six months after birth .Start hiding or putting money aside for yourself ,have a walkout plan and make sure you get proof .Remember you just had this guys kid and he is carry on like that ?If he isn't then he certainly seems to be thinking about it .Also if you let him treat you like this now he might just decide that he can treat you like for the rest of marriage .

Answer 5

He's cheating. Even if he doesn't sleep with them, he is not there for you emotianlly when you need him, and that hurts just the same. I'm sorry to hear this, honey. This is not right.

However, cheating is a symptom of a problem, not just a problem itself. It is not too late, talk to him, tell him how much you need him, especially now and from now on, and how much you love him. Be ready to listen, understand and give attention to him as well, not just to the baby. He feels unloved. I know it sounds harsh and crazy what I'm telling you. Apparently he can't handle the stress of having the baby. Bad, I know, doesn't it make things easier for you.

If he is too annoying about the phone thing - apologize about the phone thing. Big deal. This can be a good opening line. But make sure you do tell him that cheating on you is not OK.

Answer 6

You need to inform him that you don't like this type of behavior and make it quite clear you want it to stop. It is OK for your husband to communicate male/female in the office but, when it carries over into you home life you have the right to know. As for the e-mail and phone you have the right too. Why is he making an issue of you looking at his stuff? You both live in the same house and your not strangers. I wish you well and hope things work out.

Answer 7

I think you already know the answer that he is telling lies. When our husband tell lies, we will start to suspect something is wrong and wanted to check on him. When man start to cheat they start to tell a lot of lies. But sometimes if we over suspicious its will hurts us more. If we ask him, he will surely will not tell the truth and if he is really tell the truth we may not believe him. You see, there is no point asking. Sometimes its better we check and confront him only when we have the proof because maybe you over suspicious. If after work, he going home and spend time with you, then there is nothing to worry about. If he is unfaithfull, you can't do anything to stop him. We only have a choice, that to leave him, but its a painful decision.

Answer 8

Think its quite a serious matter.He should be by your side looking after his young one and helping you out during his free hours.Think he got the taste of other women when you were away with pregnancy.Its clearly an act of betrayal.You should have a talk with him and make him understand of his actions which will not be tolerated by you in a stern mannaer.Just give him some time to mend his ways.Even after that he does not change,just give him two options.Family or seperation.Just give him a shock treatment.Dont worry.He will change for the boy atleast.Good luck.

Answer 9

From a guy's perspective, I think he is in the beginning of the 'cheating' stage. Teh other woman might or might not have reciprocated, but one thing is apparent. Your man is getting 'icthy'.

Do not go head on with him, do not overeact. Use your wits. Be smart and sly. Men need that sometimes.

Study the situation rationally, find the best amicable solution. Stay away from dirct confrontation and definitely keep away from 'the point of no return' since you have just given birth.

Keep his attention on the baby. Keep him busy, changing diapers, buying milk powder, bath the baby, bath you etc.

Never give up. Be smart in your counter-offensive.

Answer 10

mendacity to you isn't a competent sign .... dont get right into a combat approximately it, yet there's a concern here and your believe has been broken. you do could get this subject out interior the open and talk whats occurring. he could be fearful of disagreement and thinks slightly white lie is super. sure, men and ladies human beings could be pals, besides the indisputable fact that, it does not look solid if she is speaking to him approximately her bf problems, he could be attempting to assist her out, yet she could be speaking to her bf. i recommend you contain him in helping you extra with the toddler jointly as you paintings on getting your appropriate shape back... do the workouts the OB/GYN gave you and you'd be back in shape in as low as ninety days. he could be feeling skipped over now that the toddler is here. provide him some extra suitable interest ... you're the two elevating the toddler, no longer in basic terms you Parenting is a 2 guy or woman pastime ... dont positioned the toddler first, yet quite, the two considered one of you attend to the toddler ... a shared accountability brings you jointly

Answer 11

Your hormones are still driving you crazy!!!

Just talk to him about your feelings, let him know how all this is making you feel, I can assure you might be seeing ghosts where there arent any...

If he talks to he's coworkers or goes out with them, offer him to join them on their escapades, tell him you want to meet his friends... but dont over do it...

Also, you might want to put your ego back in place, you need it... Forget about how you think you look and do something about it if you still think is an issue!!! Hope is just you going thru a phase!!! Good luck!