My boyfriend and I have been together for 7.5 years. We split up for 2 weeks, where I did not see anyone else. We also plit up for about 1.5 months, where I did date someone else. We have been back together now for 3 months now. We have 2 children together. I work full-time and go to school full time. He:
>monitors my pc
>accuses me of things I have not done
>fights with me in front of the kids
>calls me a w**** at least twice a week
>tells me I am selfish for going to school
>traps me in the house when we are arguing, refuses to let me out
>throws food and liquids on me
>makes me call him from work (to prove I am there)
>won't give me money (even mine)
>gives me 50.00 a week to buy groceries for a family of four
>has been violent with me when I was pregnant
>told me I was lazy after I miscarried
..because I don't think this is normal. He is crazy if you ask me. Before our last seperation, I have never given him any reason to act like this. I am faithful.
2006-10-05 17:04:15 · 43 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He started acting like this long before the seperations. Serious replies please.
2006-10-05 17:04:56 · update #1
He does not hurt the children at all. I also do not understand why he doesn't trust me. I have never cheated.
2006-10-05 17:09:39 · update #2
..well it is always been for the kids. They love him. I do not think of myself as a victim, it is that he has simply been telling me that I am crazy. I wanted to get a different and nuetral perspective. BTW, I am on my way out.
2006-10-05 17:15:24 · update #3
He is insecure. Why are you still with him, this is not a normal healthy relationship. And do not stay together for the childrens sake, that is a cop out and will do the kids more harm than good. You don't want them growing up thinking it is alright to treat your spouse this way do you?
2006-10-05 17:09:09 · answer #1 · answered by Val 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is treating you like this in front of the children...he IS hurting the children. I spent 23 years which just such a man. I thought I was staying with him for my kids. But my kids will tell you now that they are grown, they would have preferred that I left him in the earlier years. Life is too short to live it under such scrutiny. Whether you have given him "reason" or not...there is NO EXCUSE!!!! At this point, the children will either learn to believe that the way he treats you is right or they will learn to believe it is okay to take that kind of treatment from someone. You have some SERIOUS thinking to do and a VERY SERIOUS decision to make. Good luck.
2006-10-05 17:15:28 · answer #2 · answered by Kitty S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in a classic example of an abusive relationship. Your partner is the abuser and you need to get out NOW. If you do not get out for your own sake, get out of it for the sake of your children. What your children are witness to is considered to be child abuse. If you are really going to school ( I am assuming its college) then there are campus counseling centers you can make use of. You can also call 1-800-799-SAFE which is the national Domestic Violence Hotline. They will assist you in what you need to get OUT.
As to if its normal, use the second link and judge for yourself.
I know what spousal abuse is. I am no longer a victim, I am a winner. I know what you are feeling. Trust me in this, make plans now! It will only get worse, never better!
The third link has a great plan that you can start. Do so today. For you and for your kids. Dial that number just as soon as you can hon.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. :)
2006-10-05 17:18:37 · answer #3 · answered by snowelprd 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question is whether his behavior is normal -- I'd say NO.
You're in a relationship that should be as husband and wife, and should be loving. He's abusive. This isn't good for you or the children. If you want to try to make something of the relationship and if he really loves you, then you should both go to counseling.
He needs to see that what he's doing is abusive and not right;
then he needs to want to correct it. There might be some things that you can do as well to help correct the situation -- like reading
a book or two, for example.
2006-10-05 17:10:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you still with him? Why did you make children with him if he treats you this way? This guy should be in jail. This is not healthy for you nor for your children. It's better to be alone that with a beast like him. Run away from him as fast as you can. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT! You seem a strong woman and if you're faithful in God He will take care of you. If you go to school and work it means that you're not lazy and that you want a better life. BE AN EXAMPLE TO YOUR CHILDREN by showing them what respect means. Them seeing him act that way is a very negative example that they might incorporate into their behavior when they'll grow up. Just be strong and love your children. If you love them and yourself you'll leave this guy.
2006-10-05 17:09:48 · answer #5 · answered by Dally J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u want u could stay but as a smart u should know that the only way is 2 report the abuse and if he was any type of man he would never lay his hands on the mother of his children or argue with her in front of them i am very sorry 2 read any of what u wrote , but its time to buckle down u r a smart woman go and report him but if u go report him dont b the one 2 bail him out later , he may b the father of your kids but he is not your father and he cant keep u trapped in your own home its time 2 apply ur school smarts 2 your everyday life please dont b affraid 2 go 2 the police .
2006-10-05 17:12:35 · answer #6 · answered by q45dip 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is crazy you and the kids don't need this crap not at all why don't you get away from him before you or the kids get hurt good for you going to school throws things stuff at you don't work no woman needs that get away from him NOW i know you may be hurting when you tell him to leave but its for you and the kids just get out of this mess you can start a new life with the kids and you you will find a good man good luck to you and the kids
2006-10-05 17:23:12 · answer #7 · answered by freeman3905@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What he is doing is verbally and emotionally abusive and it will only get worse and escalate into physical abuse. You need to get away from him NOW. Do you really want your children to grow up seeing this and thinking this is normal behavior? It will be difficult to be on your own with two kids, but will be better for all of you in the long run. Whatever you decide to do, good luck to you and I'll be thinking of you :)
2006-10-05 17:13:10 · answer #8 · answered by Patricia S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you feel like you deserve this treatment?????Get your life in order ask him to go for some counseling with YOU because after going through this you need some help too trust me.If he wont go then I would have to make sure my children and myself were safe and healthy mentally and physically.There are shelters to got to if you live in a small town bigger cities close can help with domestic violence.I know none of us want to live in a shelter but safety of your children are first they cant make a good decision for themselves you are the Mom thats your job.Good Luck
2006-10-05 17:10:12 · answer #9 · answered by luckiestarrr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The next time he leaves the house, pack up your kids and leave. Go to a relative's or friend's house. Just get out. This is not normal. He is abusing you mentally and physically and will do the same to your kids. He will not stop. You are not the problem, he is. If you love your children, leave this situation. It is your decision to make. Good luck.
2006-10-05 17:08:52 · answer #10 · answered by wmichgrad 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋