I used to feel good about dating women, and I won't say that I won't ever do it again, but I've been increasingly sexually attracted to men. I don't think I was every sexually attracted to women very much, but I did connect with a few on a deeper level and felt good about that. Now it seems like I'm connecting more with guys and not so much with women any more.
Is my sexuality shifting for good or what's going on?
2006-10-05 17:02:49 · 29 answers · asked by Sebastian M 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Sebastian,
You have answered your own question. You state...
"I don't think I was [ever] sexually attracted to women very much, but I did connect with a few on a deeper level"
You recognized that you were connecting emotionally and possibly intellectually with the women you dated without the trappings of being sexually attracted to them.
Now you are "torn" between what you actually do find sexually attractive and what is the more "accepted" sexual attraction.
There is not one thing wrong with being attracted to a man or having a deep personal relationship with a woman.
You must judge for yourself what is right for you, what you find most attractive and whether you are willing to stand up for yourself and accept who you are.
As many said, you could simply be attracted to men and women, which is fine. I think you are more confused as to how to classify yourself. By that I mean how you "fit" into someone else's or society's category. Basically, you are trying to "find" yourself.
If you have not been with a man, I would suggest going to a "gay bar/club" and making friends with some of the guys there. Not to "experiment" with but to get to know. Not just on a sexual level but on the level of people you would like to know. Explore your feelings and see where it leads you.
Not one person here can say in all honesty, that we have never been in a relationship that did not work out at some point. The only thing you can do is to be honest in your feelings and let the other person know how you feel.
Just allow yourself to have an open heart, feel what you feel and see where it takes you. Whether it is into an opposite sex or a same sex relationship. Only you will know which is right for you or whether both (bi-sexuality) is what you like.
Good Luck, I hope you find what makes you happy.
2006-10-06 06:30:19 · answer #1 · answered by mommakaye 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Confusion"of this type is more accurately the surprised contradiction between a label you hung on yourself (guy who likes women) & the evolving reality that maybe you like men too.
Please do not stress about this; it's not a big deal. It's necessary to recognize what you feel, whatever it is (not just in this one narrow sphere of life, either) and to follow where it goes, wherever that is. Lack of self knowledge leads to much bigger trouble than who you went out with on Saturday night.
Human sexuality is not so black & white as some would have you believe, and those of us who have crossed back & forth or lived in the middle zone understand this very well.
Don't get hung up on what you "are" or "aren't" - nobody actually "is" anything, as long as we are alive. Living = changing, dynamic, evanescent. Where we humans get the idea that things should somehow stay the way we first imagined them never ceases to impress me as the worst kind of self-misguidance.
About 2-3 % of the population is like us - there are lots of other people who have had similar experiences to yourself. If you go looking you'll find them.
Good Luck!
;-)
2006-10-05 17:27:34 · answer #2 · answered by WikiJo 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I personally think that it is confusion. Look at sensitory stimuli. If you close your eyes and there is a man and a woman in a room with you and one touches you, if they know where to and how to touch you, you will get aroused. Are you gay, no. The body reacts to sensations. Plus men and women are attacted(not just sexually, but in general) to the same things. Have you ever seen a woman drive by and thought she was beautiful just because you only saw her hair? Just because you liked her hair cut, that does not make you gay. Have you ever got a hair cut because you thought you looked handsome with it? Just because a guy has a hair cut that makes him attractive, that don't make you gay. Women like expensive things, men like expensive things. Men like shinny things, women like shinny things. Men go to the gym and look at other men and think "he has a attractive body, I want an attractive body like that.", or "I look better then him." and things like that. Women do the same thing. Men, and women, get confused when they dwell to long on why they are attracted, and come to there own(or someone elses) conclusions to why they are attracted, and don't fully understand human nature. Like I said, I PERSONALLY think it is confusion.
2006-10-05 17:36:04 · answer #3 · answered by TYRONE S 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't stress about it. Enjoy your life, whether in the company of women or men, and let whatever happens, happen.
f things are unclear right now, that's OK - don't allow yourself to be pressured into a life decision you're maybe just not ready to make yet.
Good luck, & be happy!
2006-10-05 17:11:16 · answer #4 · answered by belmyst 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
hy gay partners davie and steviie hons stop here okay!! before you decide too go the entire gay routine, and ready too croos overr, sit downe with your innnr soul, and say ami i really realy ready for this?? think long hard nobody here can give you straight anwsers its entirely entirely up too your thinking here nobodys elses decisionns. and wee say good luck hons, and please if you have any elf doubts, dont go getting a boy hooked on you and then just dump him and back out it isent right. think first its a lie time choicees. not fun and games.
2006-10-05 17:08:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you are sexually attracted to people of your own gender, you are at least bisexual - possibly homosexual.
Being bi or gay does not preclude strong feelings for people of the opposite sex.
2006-10-05 17:06:05 · answer #6 · answered by Clarkie 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
It is possible to be both gay and confused.
It sounds like you are. Good luck working it out.
2006-10-05 17:08:53 · answer #7 · answered by Ranto 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you are just understanding what your preference is. If you are still a teen, that is a time for sexual confusion. Wait and see. Give yourself time.
2006-10-05 17:04:51 · answer #8 · answered by notyou311 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why worry about it...time will tell you where you are. It is no never mind either way..just enjoy life, that is what counts. Good luck
2006-10-05 17:05:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
I was bi for many years 26 to be exact!
But I'm married now and have a great wife.
for one reason only...
2006-10-05 19:03:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anthony E 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋