What has happened to sticking with your vows?

Question

Why does a person stand in front of God and family to take vows for life and suddenly one day just say "Okay, I'm through"? If abuse is involved I can see it.

Does mid life crisis have anything to do with it?

Answer 1

I think at the time when both partys go up at least I would hope they both go in knowing and feeling they will love till death do us part etc... but like anything people grow there needs change we never stay the same. You are not the same person either when you first got married. However some people grow apart and what becomes important to one person may mean nothing to the other spouse. Unfortunately we can't stop growing or having feelings and opnions. just like when were kids we know so much then as young adults we look back and say wow I did that .. Im now more into this way of thinking. then further down the years like even grandparents again they think differently than where we are at in our life at this stage.

So don't blame yourself , if you know you have been a good wife. and dont' blame him. Its human nature . and unfortunately sometimes couples grow apart in there ways of thinking etc.. one goes down one road and another goes another way.

Sometimes p eople wake up or have a devistating life expereince that happens to them like cancer or heart surgery and they realize this is not what they want to be doing for the next 10 years they have left on this earth.

Its hard I know we give all our love and time to them . and sometimes we lose. its a gamble just like anyting is in life.

You just have to enjoy the times you did share the memories and say okay this is a new chapter in my life. i wonder whats in store for me out there exciting and adventure.

Go live your life. He's living his dream you live yours

And good luck

Answer 2

I, for one, meant the vows I took before God and my family. I think that I married....I don't wanna say the wrong man, but definetly not the best match for me.
I knew him for 4 months and then we married. It was about 3 or 4 months after that, the "honeymoon" period ended.
I take the vows I have made very, very, very seriously. I pray that God gives me the strength everyday to become a stronger person, and to help the love we have grow. My father taught me values, and principals. Sometimes I wish he hadn't but eh, what can ya do? It is not my husband I worry about hurting, or disappointing my father, or giving anyone the benefit of saying I told ya so - I worry about what I will say when I stand before God. I can't just say God he did this, or God I was so tired, or so hurt, or frusterated, I was tired of crying. Because in the end, it won't matter, what will matter is did I honor the vow I made before him. Did I keep the union of marriage that He gave me holy? Did I do what was right in His eyes, not mine.
I have fought, and scratched my way through it so far. The bad days out weigh the good, but in the end somehow the good out weighs the bad. Get my drift?
I have been through almost all of it, ( except a cheating spouse, but there are worse things, trust me. )
People don't want to work for anything now a days, not for money, or an upkept house, or a marriage for that matter.
Marriage takes plenty of hard work. People are lazy, immature, and selfish. Nobody wants to put in the effort it takes to make it work. If there's a problem they would rather just quit, because that's easy.
I am proud of what I have accomplished. I have been to hell and back (being married) in 2 yrs ( in Nov ) and I am still fighting. I don't think being strong is easy, but anything worth having is worth fighting for.
At age 20, I have 2 beautiful kids, and although he has his faults a loving husband.
There aren't many men or women my age that have the maturity, perserverance ( sp? ), or values to do what I am doing, in spite of it all. I have seen grown adults (30-40-ect) divorce over less than what I have been through. What it all boils down to is maturity, and values, and will (whoever and whatever religion they be from) Many ppl have lost those things today, and that is sad.

Answer 3

Many people don't stand in front of God and family to take vows. There are 2 very different forms of marriage - legal marriage and religious marriage. The terminology should not be the same since they are so different. The values in a religious marriage where vows are taken in front of God are different from those of a marriage where a couple walks into a courthouse and gets married.

I'd be willing to bet that it's easier to throw in the towel and say "I'm through" when God (regardless of which God you worship) is not ever a part of the marriage.

Answer 4

Most marriages start out good everything is great then around the fifth year little things that never bother you before starts to annoy the hell out of you.This is where the opposite sex comes in to play.you get a compliment from someone at work then it turns into Little flirting then a few drinks after work before you no it,it turn into a fool blown affair.Who do you blame the married person or the person who knew you were married but chose to believe the line; my wife or husband doesn't;t LOVE me anymore.Personally I put more of the blame on the person who knew he or she was married in the first place. I no it takes two but I believe if someone is that desperate to go as far as to sleep with a married person he or she deserves what they get.Its just a shame that so many people get hurt because this one person thinks he or she could of done better for himself.That is one very;very selfish person with no honor.

Answer 5

I've really thought this one through over the past couple of years.

Legalistically - a marriage is a contract; a civil union. Most churches agree. A contract can be terminated unilaterally in most states. That's cold and impersonal.

Theologically - I wouldn't even know where to begin. So many different denominations. But, ultimately, God is love and He wants us to experience and have joy. If your partner isn't experiencing joy, is it a sin to live in misery? Is it a sin to make the partner miserable? God doesn't want either. Does God want us to live a lie? Maybe that is the greater sin.

Answer 6

A mid-life crisis can play into this. Also, couples over time do drift apart. When that happens, nothing seems familiar and it then becomes a struggle to become involved in the same things and/or activities.

Answer 7

We are a throw away society, we throw everything away even relationship...I can see people that are better off not being together and some that the relationship work out great...People get married to quick, they dont know each other well enough, think they are in love, thats its their soulmate and all the crude but, they dont think about living with someone 50+ years....

Answer 8

I don't think anyone gets married thinking that they will end it someday. However, things happen. People can fall out of love just as easy as they can fall into it. The difference is, sometimes you can get that love back if you just want to try. Many people just don't want to try. On the other hand, sometimes marriages can't be saved, no matter what.

Answer 9

THAT SOME OF IT BUT SOMETIMES PEOPLE JUST FEEL LIKE THEY ARE STUCK IN A BOX AND THEY FEEL THEY ARE DOING THE SAME THING OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND THEY CAN'T HANDLE IT AND THEY GET BORED!! THEY WANT A CHANGE AND WHEN THEY SEE AN OPORTUNITY THEY TAKE IT NOT THINKING THEY ARE HURTING SOMEONE IN THE PROCESS!! I DON'T THINK PEOPLE TAKE MARRIAGE SERIOUSLY ANYMORE I THINK IT IS BECOMING A TREND THING BECAUSE NOBODY WANTS TO BE ALONE FOREVER SO THEY USUALLY TAKE UP ANY OPPORTUNITY THAT ARISES!!

Answer 10

Because in some cases sticking to your vowes is hurting people more (you, your spouse and children) than braking the vowes.