Can you make me laugh?

Question

I doubt it.

Answer 1

Whenever my husband farts he punctuates the fart with the cause.

FFFFfffffff "Oh, tortellini"
FFFFFFFffffffff "Oh, meatloaf"
FfffFFFF "Mercy, fajitas!"

It's true but it's also funny.

Answer 2

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose.

A young, student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask. "Are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he may elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worry about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the other. Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, sir!"

The man pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely......



A r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k?"




(C'mon! I know you laughed!)

Answer 3

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's day. Mick, the bartender says, "You'll not be drinking anymore tonight Paddy".

Paddy replies "Ok Mick, I'll be on my way then."

Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face.

"Shoite" he says and pulls himself up by the stook and dusts himself off.

He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face. "Shoite, Shoite!"

He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if he can just get to the door and some fresh air he'll be fine.

He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame.

He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the sidewalk.

He falls flat on his face. "Bi'Jesus... I'm fockin' focked," he says.

He can see his house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door and shimmies up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says "No fockin' way".

He crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and says "I can make it to the bed."

He takes a step into the room and falls flat on his face.

He says "Fock it" and falls into bed.

The next morning his wife, Jess, comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, "Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?"

Paddy says, "I did Jess. I was fockin' pissed. But how'd you know?"

"Mick phoned, ......... You left your wheelchair at the pub."

Answer 4

Over the hill rides Piss Poor Pete.
Forty pounds of swonging meat.
Laid little Nelly on the grass.
Stuck it all up her ***.
Little Nelly cut a fart.
Beew his balls five miles apart.
Over the hill rides Piss Poor Pete.
forty pounds of ****** up meat.

I hope that made you laugh.

Answer 5

yes. there was a girl w/ no arms or legs who say by the lake all the time. one day a boy passed her and she said shes never been hugged so the guy says whatever and hugs her. the next day he passes and she says shes never been kissed. so he feels bad an kisses her. the next day she says shes never been screwed. he throws her in the lake and says : there u go now ur screwed. hahaha

Answer 6

yeah, you are right. I cannot make you laugh. you happy now?

Answer 7

what makes u laugh? probably

Answer 8

I know how to make you cry....look in the mirror

Answer 9

sure, just read some funny books, it works for me

Answer 10

<<<<<