My wife and I have been together for almost two years. Just 3 days ago she told me that her ex came over while I was out of town and spent the night for two days in a row. She makes it seem that just because she told me, it makes it better. She told me they kissed as well. I know that some may think it was a harmless night over, but she had cheated on me with this ex at the beginning of our relationship and I walked in on them kissing just two months ago. I love her too much, and I'm willing to make this work. It's just that every time she does something like this, the trust goes more and more.
2006-10-05 15:20:57 · 27 answers · asked by Unappreciated 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Leave her. You sound like a really great guy and she sounds like she doesn't appreciate you as much as she should. I know that it is really hard to leave someone that you have feelings for but how can you stay with someone who treats you like dirt?
2006-10-05 15:35:50 · answer #1 · answered by Colleen 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is even a limit to love and I hope for your sake you find it soon. If she has cheated on you, like you say she has, then this isn't just a small need or want in the back of her mind. 2 nights in a row, this my dear is not cheating......this is another relationship. If she still hasn't made up her mind as far as her ex goes then I suggest you find someone else that will choose to be with you. Because this is not showing me or anyone else that she loves and cares about you. This is showing me that she wants what she wants when she wants it. So by all means you need to let her know where the door is so that you can move on and find someone that is worth your time and effort and will love and want you in return. Good luck no matter what you choose, but remember life is way too short to spend wasting on someone that shows you little to no respect or love for that matter.
2006-10-05 16:35:11 · answer #2 · answered by s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have nothing if you don't have trust or respect. It's obvious that she doesn't respect you and that in turn says to me that she doesn't love you either! You seem to be a good man and you shouldn't let her run over you. If you can't trust her in your own house then you can't love her the way you should or even at all!!! So don't fool yourself you can't make a relationship work all by yourself if she isn't helping and still seeing this man then you just need to let her go!! Believe me I understand the fact that you feel that you love her enough to make things right but if she really respected you she wouldn't be seeing this man behind your back, actually she wouldn't be seeing that man at all if she really wanted to make things work. You don't have to stay married there's no shame in getting divorced if your being cheated on. I think you guys should get counseling and find out what's going on with her for her to be cheating on you so often!!
2006-10-05 15:51:12 · answer #3 · answered by EriksSweetheart 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might as well change your name to doormat. That's what she's doing and you're letting her. She's not over him, she showed you that once, now twice, ( and God knows how many times she hasn't confessed to you) Why would you continue to love someone who shows you such blatant disrespect. I understand the concept of forgiveness but she is not going to change her behavior...because you're telling her it's OK every time she confesses. Buck up Do you really want this other guy to know he can come into your home, your bed and screw you??? That's who he's screwing you! I'm sorry you are staying with this looser woman. But until you realize you deserve better you're going to continue to have stories like these to share about
your wife ! The only thing that will change in your story is the number of years you've been married to this low life and the number of times she said "F" YOU to you...and stepped all over you like a doormat!..
2006-10-05 15:44:09 · answer #4 · answered by Brains & Beauty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wake up and smell the coffee. If they are "just kissing" now it won't be long before it progresses into something more. She is telling you only about the times she has been caught or she thinks someone else knows (like the neighbors). You will have to decide what you can live with.
2006-10-05 15:26:05 · answer #5 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG! Are you naive or what??!!!
Come on buster! The ex spends the night for 2 days in a row...and you believe it was just kissing.
Humph! Gosh! You have got to get this wife to be an ex. Goody luck!
2006-10-05 15:36:19 · answer #6 · answered by doggoneit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a tough one. You need to get to the bottom of why your wife is being drawn to her ex? I'm in the same position as her. I'm also married, but still have feelings for my ex & did spend a few nights with him. My husband knows nothing of it and I vow never to contact this man again. The reason why i was drawn to my ex is I never allowed myself to heal from the separation and married as a rebound...wrong i know. But i was in love with the memories of this man, but I have since learnt they are not memories, just fantasies!! I'm willing to do whatever it takes to save our marriage as we have children together. I know I have made the right choice not to tell him about my fling. It would help with my guilt, but it would crush him. My husband never put in any effort romantically or emotionally. I felt like the spark was gone. I was a desparate housewife. Ex made my life exciting, made me feel special and I thought I still loved him. I have since come to realise he is a ex for a reason and thats where he will stay!!! Good luck.
2006-10-05 15:37:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think she has ever gotten over the ex. Ask her why she would think it would be okay to have her ex spend the night at your house(not my or hers )?/?? It is not accepted for married people to have ex's sleep at their ex's house when the ex's have remarried and the better half is not in town. What was she thinking??? Herself You might be headed down the divorce road if she doesn't care and respect you more than that.
2006-10-05 15:33:37 · answer #8 · answered by seekinghisface1974 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right now you need to take care of yourself, She is the one with the problem. When someone cheats on you, they open up the gates of hell, because its adultery, she is not herself, and no you cannot trust her. I would talk to a lawyer behind her back, in case she takes you to the cleaners. Besides if she cared about you, she would not being doing this to you.
2006-10-05 15:47:22 · answer #9 · answered by Bert 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You talk about what you're willing to do and that's great. But, what is she willing to do? Is she penitent at all?
It sounds like she's willing to cheat more every time you forgive her. You need to move on before you have children. Then, you'll be really stuck. Believe me, I know what I am talking about.
2006-10-05 15:33:25 · answer #10 · answered by Otis F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋