ive fallen out of love with my wife but im still fond of her how can i end my relationship?

Question

i dont want to hurt her to much she has never done me any harm
but it just dosnt work for me any more

Answer 1

no matter how you appraoch it , it will devestate her and hurt her unless she already knows it is coming... which I would think she does... women know , at least on some level when her man is NOT happy... but all you can do is be open and honest and tell her how you feel... it will NOT be easy for her or you, but you can make it a little easier on her by NOT pouring on the *poor me* stuff... make it simple and to the point but not cruel... let her say what she needs to say, sit and listen, take it, and then move on... she will have her emotions and feelings and she IS entittled to them... so do NOT go all mocho on her !!!! God bless

Answer 2

This is a tough one. I know ,I have been there. You must decide how much your long term happiness means to you.The chances are, your relationship will deteriorate to the point that you no longer have fond feelings for your wife. When that happens you may become self obsessed and bitter and when that happens the hurt you want to avoid now will become unavoidable.You seem a sensitive type and want it to end as smoothly as possible. The time will never be right but you need to communicate your feelings to her ASAP. If you can't do it yourself (preferable) ask a close trusted mutual friend to try to explain things in a sensitive way. But remember that "you do not always appreciate what you have until you have lost it."

Answer 3

Wow, do you always give up so easily? Have you really fallen out of love with your wife or are you just bored and need to inject abit of spice into your lives? Maybe she feels the same - maybe you could both work at making your lives together more exciting. If you had a dog or a cat and the novelty had worn off would you just shrug your shoulders and say 'I'm still fond of old Fido but it just doesn't work for me anymore'? Marriage is a commitment and it sounds as though you are ready to throw in the towel just because the novelty has worn off! I'm sure your wife would be very pleased to hear you say that you are merely 'fond' of her.

Answer 4

I agree with a lot of the previous answers, I never have liked that term, I love you but I am not in Love with you, it sounds so, well, stupid. But you have got to realise that all relationships go through ups and downs, that's life, real life, not what the media tell you what you should do or feel, or how to make the right decisions, too many people bail before trying to work through it, remember if you decide to finish it here, later down the line when you realise you made a mistake, which you might notice happens a lot, you might not be able to pull it back together, and even if you did the relationship would be damaged, and it would be always your fault that it broke down. For what it's worth don't be hasty.

Answer 5

After reading some of the answers here it is refreshing to see that some people actually took their vows seriously. Marriage is a bond that is supposed to last a lifetime, till death do us part for better or worse...etc. So many people these days take the easy way out and try to start something new only to have the same results in a few years. I have been in the same situation after 18 years of marriage when my wife basically told me the same thing and couldn't answer any of the important question or wouldn't try counseling. I know the pain she will go through and it stays for a long time. Did you really love her to start with? Was she really your best friend? There is no easy way out here. You have to suck it up and be ready to explain your actions. SHE deserves it!!!!

Answer 6

basically u want her as a friend and not ur wife,
i wish i had more details like how long u were married and if u have any kids, makes the answer a lot easier.
a marriage is a beatiful thing if both ppl r in love, but once it becomes an obligation than its not worth it.
sit with her and talk . tell her how u feel. she will be angry and upset and will ask u why? and am i not good enough? or is there some one else?
be prepared with all the answers that u can think of, she might even walk away.
there is no other way. unfortuntly, dont expect the friendship will go with the marriage,
best of luck ,

Answer 7

honesty is the best policy here, if things have got this far then im pretty sure she's noticed there is something wrong, you say you dont want to hurt her, but you know as well as i do, if she loves you it will hurt immensely, but until you tell her what's wrong, she isnt going to know, so it's about time you opened up and told her how you feel. Funnily enough im talking from exerience here, and i found when i started talking to my first wife, (sadly passed away now) that i did still love her, but we'd got into such a routine the love kind of fell by the wayside. but when we talked again it came back but just that little bit to late to be what it once was, i didnt get to tell her how much i truly loved her till it was too late and she was in my arms dying, so talk, dont waste time on here deliberating, talk and talk and talk till your sure its what you want. If it is then leave but dont lie, If it isn't then stay and work hard at loving your wife. good luck either way

Answer 8

Well i have the same feelings about my husband. I have been married to him for 5 years and he is quiet does not have alot to do with me and we are just the opposite of one another. I have taken the time to think about what has happened and i have discorved that i really did not love him to begin with. You know that it is important to fall in love with someone and i never did with him. I like him as a person but not as a husband. We have had some very hard times and i have just within the last 2 weeks stopped wearing my wedding rings and i have talked to him about him getting some professional help but he has not done so. i also told him i was unhappy in our marriage and still there is no change. I look at things differently i guess cause if you want your marriage to work you are willing to do anything but mine does not. I think that you should sit down with your wife and explain what is going on and see what she has to say. She might feel the same way.

Answer 9

Please see a relationship counsellor before you decide to leave your wife. So many people are addicted to the chemical, physical feeling of love that when this is gone they no longer want the relationship. Love changes and evolves over time but in this society we're so programmed to the idealistic romantic film version of life that we've lost track of what love really is. You mentioned still being 'fond' of her which is reason enough to make sure that a break-up is really the right thing to do - for her sake and yours.

Answer 10

Hard as it may be, you've got to be honest with her. But before you blast her with the news, take some time to think about what has changed in your relationship. What was it that hooked you? Whatever it was - it's still there - dormant maybe - but still there. The question really is, if you could have THAT back, would you want it? If yes, work on it. If no, end it now. Above all, be honest about your feelings and be considerate of hers.

Good luck!

-Chrystaille

Answer 11

So you're essentially saying that u only want to be married when u feel like it and now u don't, u are just going to walk out? Whatever happened to "for better, for worse"? And how exactly do people fall out of love with someone, especially if that someone has never done anything to make u feel that way? I feel sorry for your wife who, all this time, thought she was going to be married to someone who knew how to uphold their marriage vows only to leave her at the end because "u are not inlove with her anymore".

So go ahead and tell her, if that's what u want. Just don't go crying back to her when u find out that u made the biggest mistake of your life.