Cheating Spouse!?

Question

I cought my wife cheating on me about a month ago. I'm trying to get over it! We've been married for 8 years and have 3 kids. I beleaved in her very much untill this happened. Now if she go's to town I wonder if she's meeting him. So my question is: is this a normal reaction????

To the woman that asked if I had proof. I cought her in the act and now she wants me to treat her as if nothing has happened. And I keep catching her in lies. I've tried to explain to her that if she lies to me all the time when am I suppose to know when she's telling truth!

Every time I ask her where she's been she gets mad and says I'm treating her like a child. And she shouldn't have to tell me every where she go's!

Answer 1

Both you and her need to go on websites like surviveanaffair.com and marriagebuilders.com if you want this relationship to work. You have done nothing wrong, she has betrayed you by breeching the trust in your relationship. It will take a long time to get over it! And the healing won't begin until she admits that what she has done is wrong. During the road to "healing", your relationship has to be an "open book". She should be telling you where she is going, and what she is doing, she needs to regain your trust. Plus, she should no longer have any sort of contact with the person she cheated on you with. Good luck.

Answer 2

Your reaction is normal because you are being betrayed by a person you love and trust. I do feel the same as you. Its easy to say to forgive but to forget, its not easy. Because there is a word " a liar always a liar". I don't know how true its this word, but seems that many people experienced being cheated many times. If you wanted to be with her, you have to trust her. I wondering why some people just don't know how to stay faithfull. Sometimes people just go for divorce when they found out their spouse cheat on them. Divorce is not just about two people, sometimes its also about their kids. Children suffer the most when their parents go for divorce. Human do make mistake. So, if your wife ask for your forgiveness and really regret about it, then why not try to trust her again?? Tell her you will take time to trust her again. Hope you will go thru all this and soon you able to forget.

Answer 3

Yes, it's normal to lose trust after someone does that to you. I know you must be having a really tough time right now. In time, if and when you forgive her, you have to let it go--don't forget it, but at the same time don't hold it against her and keep throwing it in her face. Women have strong instincts, but men do too. You have to decide if you can and will trust her again. Without trust, I think your marriage will surely end because I certainly don't see how it can last. If your marriage is on the rocks and you want to save it, maybe you two should see a marriage counselor--particularly a Christian one. You might also talk to her about going to your church if it has a couples ministry group: The other couples and the reverend might really help. This is the best method to me because it's free. I know that one of you may think that people will know your business, but so what. You can bet their life ain't perfect neither. There's nothing wrong with attending meetings where the purpose is to save, build and strengthen marriages. But you and your wife have to decide what next step is the best for y'all to take. That could be as simple as you two agreeing to communicate better, and devote more time and romance to each other. However, she has to say she wants this marriage to last and not end, then she needs to back up what she says with her actions and do her part. I hope it works out, but if you have to move on because she has moved on--it might be for the best.

Answer 4

Yes, it is a normal reaction considering what happened - you were betrayed, lied too - that is not going to make it easy to trust her! I understand why you want to stay and work it out - having 3 kids and all. But, listen to me - I know this too well - she is going to cheat again, and again. I am sure it hurt REAL bad to find out this time (who's to say it was the first time - it's just the first time you caught her!) - will it feel any better when you find out she's doing it again? Are you willing to live your life wondering if everytime she goes to the grocery store, she's really meeting someone? Trust is not something that comes back overnight. I know in your heart you WANT to believe what she says is true, but take it from someone who knows first hand - she's not going to stop. Save yourself the heartache, file for divorce and custody of the kids. This is only going to hurt you more if you stay. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 5

Yes it is a normal reaction, I felt the same, I had been married about the same amount of time, 3 children and found my hubby cheating on me. I watched to see even what direction he drove as he went around the corner after that. Always asking questions to verify where he had been, and you know it totally ate me up in the long run. I totally trusted him till then, loved him dearly, we sadly divorced only a few years later as I could never trust what he said, what he did again from that day forth. I was right not to as well as he ended up marrying the woman that he was unfaithful to me with. Who actually was my best friend, NOT ANYMORE Double Ouch!!

Answer 6

I'm sure that you've lost your trust in her somehow because of her cheating on you. That is a normal reaction. But if she ever asked for your forgiveness that time and promised you that she would never do it again, you might as well forgive her with all your heart and give her back your trust.

What matters most is your love for her. If you still love her despite what she did, start anew with her and never let that cheating issue be like a ghost that will haunt your marriage forever. Forgive and forget and total happiness will be in the offing betwee you and your wife. All the best.

Answer 7

Your reaction is normal. Trust has been broken and it's not unreasonable to expect that it's going to take a long time for u to regain that trust, though it may never again be 100% because somewhere in the back of your mind, u will always suspect. Your wife is being insensitve for acting as though it shouldn't be a big deal. The least she can do is help u regain that trust back. She at least owes u that much. Afterall, she was the one who broke it.

Answer 8

you cought her cheating... lets see I usually read about this from a womans point of view,but you say you caught her so we have to go for what you say... If you caught her right handed you have all the reason in the world to react the way you are reacting,I am a woman and personally it makes me sick when another woman do this to a man for no reason,usually a woman that do such things is because she is being hurt,but im willing to accept that there is some that like men do it for the hell of it.You need to get rid of her,those doubts are going to eat at you until you loose it.
If she done this for no reason,she doesnt deserve you,lets see how she reacts on someone she really cares about does it to her,but you need ot either end the relationship or offer her to go to counseling so you can understand why she done this.
and if she refused to go is because she has no interest what so ever in making it with you.Men have fellings to and she needs to let go if she is not commited to this relationship.I hope you can fix your problem or get out and hang in there... good luck man.

Answer 9

You are VERY normal. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Stay strong for your children and understand that at this point, all you can do is smile and be polite with your wife for the kids sake. You would be TOTALLY justified to get a divorce,(and I only believe divorce is called for when cheating or abuse enters) but know that your wife will most likely cheat on you again.

I hope she at least respected you enough to cheat outside your home because anyone who cheats in the home where they are raising their family has NO respect for you, your marriage or children and should not be given the priveledge of proving herself worthy of your love.

Stay Strong and you are the normal one. ( :

Answer 10

It won't do you any good to be sure if he's cheating. in case you do no longer have confidence him and you suspect he has been untrue- basically flow away. in case you're only uncertain- then consult with him. attempting to sneak around could no longer do something different than assist you justify your anger if he's cheating. particularly, this is basically no longer nicely worth it. You deserve better than that. i assume what it comes all the way down to is: could you have the means to forgive him if he did? If the respond is confident, then try counseling- which will help. If no longer- then brace your self for the worst and confront him. He may be under pressure and which may be inflicting in spite of replace in habit that delivered approximately you asking this question. good success!