Okay this is a long one so anyone not wanting to read, go ahead and leave. Me and my husband have been together for 6 years, and i guess iam somewhat happy. But he has to be the laziest man on the face of the earth. He went without a job for 6 months of this year, so my family helped us out, never once did he say thank you kiss my a** or anything.And during this time he didn't help around the house or with the kids or anything, I had to pay someone to cut my grass and weedeat because he kept making excuses why he couldn't do it. So now that he has a job, he thinks that is all he has to do is go to work and come home drink, watch tv or play playstation. we have 3 kids,1 i already had when we got marred, I do all the cooking, cleaning, laundry, baths,shopping dr.appointments, school problems, financial things, everything plus I am opening my own business in 2 wks, if this keeps up this way I will lose my mind literally! Talking about it dosent help he just gets angry, what do I do ?
2006-10-05 14:18:03 · 11 answers · asked by nascar_cr8zy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If talking doesn't help, and all he does is get angry - then chances are, there will be no change. Sounds like my ex-husband. I loved him, so I dealt with it for a long time - but we didn't have kids! So it was very different. Are you afraid to leave him? You are already doing it ALL on your own! He sounds very self-centered. You need to ask yourself if you want to live this way for the rest of your life. You don't want to look back in 10 years, bitter and full of regret - AND 10 years older! Trust me - leaving my ex was hard, but creating a new life for myself was the best thing I ever did. And, I found a real man - who has held a job for the last 16 years, who would do anything for me or our son - a man that, up until my divorce, I didn't believe existed! YOU DESERVE BETTER!
2006-10-05 14:26:17 · answer #1 · answered by Kristen G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can relate in a way. I went unemployed for six months and was so depressed that I didn't feel like doing anything around the house. At the same time, I was wanting to be back with my ex who decided that I was too lazy to want to be with. I can understand her point and wasn't upset by it.
Now, I have a job and have the energy to do work around the house. I still live with my ex and somewhat hope that she and I will work out and get back together. However, the energy to work around the house, and contribute to all that needs help with (driving kids around, taking kids to practices, cooking dinner, etc) is all mine. No one is pushing me to do my work other than myself. I do the work because I choose to.
As for your husband, you may need to sit down and give him two options. Either take part in his responsibilities or get out of the house. If he chooses to take part, let him know that the short term will not cut it. If he opts to leave, get a good lawyer and make certain you come out on top but don't expect much from him. You can, and will, find yourself a better man.
One last thing, he will have to want to make a change for any change to be effective.
Good luck and I hope everything works out.
2006-10-05 21:30:19 · answer #2 · answered by Red1 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a form of depression or the * me tarzan* is going on... some times we women have to step over the line and just go a little NUTS to get a point across... I cant tell you how, you know hubby better than anyone, and should and can figure out what will make him snap out of it... I did the * so what tarzan* thing... I acted just like him, talked just like him, etc... after a while he ask what my deal was, so I told him.... he was acting like a judgmental jerk!!! got the point across in about 3 days.... get some family help, to watch the kids over the wk end, so as NOT to witness it all... and go to work !!!! you have more power than you think my friend... just dont abuse it ..... use it !!!! God bless
2006-10-05 21:26:39 · answer #3 · answered by Annie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He sounds depressed. His lack of motivation, lack of trying and his anger sound like a guy who is unhappy.
You can't fix that for him, he has to get help for it. Depressed people just go further into themselves when browbeaten, and you see that effects of that already. Doing little, or only things he likes is about what he can handle.
He needs to get help, or you need to leave. Living your life on the hope he will turn around, and become Prince Charming one morning on his own is ridiculous.
2006-10-05 21:36:06 · answer #4 · answered by BuffyFromGP 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should leave this man alone, if he sees that you are serious about leaving he might get his act together. sometimes a man never knows what he has until its almost gone. but if he still does not see the heartache he is causing than leave, it sounds like you can do better by your dam self.
2006-10-05 21:23:02 · answer #5 · answered by the truth 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You deserve better, you seem to be able to handle things on your own, get rid of one of your biggest chores, "him". Don't put up with that mess, he thinks you will keep putting up with it. You have the upper hand and you need to show him you do. Good luck with your new business.
2006-10-05 21:29:47 · answer #6 · answered by aloneathome 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Um...I understand that you have been with this guy for a long time, but he sounds like a loser....what does he contribute?? If you answered "nothing" then what would you lose without him??? i know that it would be hard but I am sure you would be fine by yourself...
2006-10-05 21:22:28 · answer #7 · answered by gabbin_gabos 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Face it, you married a loser. Mine just sits around a plays video games all day. The longer you stay with him, the more he thinks it's okay. It's all up to you. If you choose to stay with him, don't complain. I'm just being real.
2006-10-05 21:22:55 · answer #8 · answered by not2nite 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
girl tell him that he has a month ta get his act together or hes out and you are fileing for a DIVORCE im sure you can get a man who knows how ta treat you like a woman not a slave
2006-10-05 21:50:16 · answer #9 · answered by jeannie k 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to take action right away and show him that he can not continue to behave this way. even if it means leaving him for a while with the kids and going to your parents house. he needs to see the consequences for his actions.
2006-10-05 21:22:08 · answer #10 · answered by dzjoni 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋