She just ain't what she used to be. I dont want to cheat on her with other women, but she makes me because of her size and weight. I love her and want to be with only her. How can I tell her nicely to lose about 100 lbs?
2006-10-05 14:14:47 · 50 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell her to get off that fat *** and lose some weight. you dont want to be marrried to a porker.
2006-10-05 14:44:08 · answer #1 · answered by ricardo l 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I do understand that men are stimulated by vision....and having your wife look sexier would be a be plus...but doesn't guarantee you still would not cheat on her. Also, don't think for a minute that she isn't aware of this....believe me women notice. If you really love her the way you say you do, buy some memberships to the gym and both of you go together. You really don't need to tell your wife to lose weight, she already knows it's an issue,but there are other ways you can really help her. My guess is that if you give her more attention and talk positively around her and listen to her when she talks to you, she may begin to have more confidence in herself and desire to want to lose weight because she will be happier. Most people that are 100lbs over weight also suffer from depression. You can encourage her to see her doctor if you notice that she is sad, sleeps to much or too little, doesn't enjoy life the way she use to or cries a lot as these are all signs of depression. You can include her in your routine trips and tell her often that you love her. Two things that will help get her attention is helping her with small chores around the house like if you are watching TV and she is picking up the house or washing the dishes...etc., go help her and flirt with her occasionally like you use to when she was thinner. Hope this was helpful.
2006-10-05 14:50:15 · answer #2 · answered by Peace&Joy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't put the focus on her weight that would make things worse she will just get even bigger. You should tell her that you have been wanting to eat right and exersise but you need her help and tell her how hard it is to keep away from the goodies if they are there in the home. Ask if she would like to join the gym with you and make a game out of it. Tell her she looks beautiful and praise her when she looses a few pounds.
2006-10-05 18:02:16 · answer #3 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's the best way to tell her she needs to lose weight? Well, maybe if you tell her that after you tell her you've been unfaithful it will soften the blow. If you haven't cheated and you think about it, then it's probably not about just her weight. I guess we need to start adding "fat or skinny, with hair, or bald" to wedding vows. Oh wait, I think those already take into account that you accept each other for who you are or may become physically.
You don't tell her, you tool! If you're not attracted her anymore then maybe you should part ways, but if that's the only reason why the marriage doesn't work she should dump you!
2006-10-05 14:25:34 · answer #4 · answered by Chris 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh man you are treading on VERY thin ice here. First off you are really saying that the ONLY thing you love about your wife is her body. Do you have any kids? If so...who had those kids a put THERE body through that round! If all you love her for is her body....not that she has been there for you possibly had your children been a friend and lover for how many years? Does none of that count for anything? Have you too not changed? Has she told you that you are going bald and she wants you to do something about it. or that your "Tool shed is getting a little big" ( in other words you have gained a few pounds yourself). I don't know how old you are....but maybe YOU don't quite "measure up like you use too" if you know what I mean.
I think you need to take a loooong look in the mirror and see if YOU are he same guy she married.....and if after looking you say " hell ya I haven't changed....you need glasses! We all change....now as far as using that as a reason to CHEAT.....You can not lay that one on her! There is NEVER a reason to cheat! Period!
If you really love her as you said.....maybe don't say anything at all....tell her that after dinner YOU would like to start taking walks for YOUR health....and you would like her to come along....that way you are NOT insulting the one you say you love...and you are helping BOTH of you out.
Best of luck.....now go look in the mirror
2006-10-05 14:31:54 · answer #5 · answered by oldman 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get involved in weight loss with her - not that you are going to lose 100 lbs but you men tend to think "oh lose some weight and be on your merry way" - you want to send your wife off to lose weight. Be there for her, support her, help her look up programs that will suit her, go to the gym together, eat healthy meals together, and so forth. She will be more excited to do it than someone throwing her out to do it.
2006-10-05 16:30:02 · answer #6 · answered by actresscye 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow very touchy subject:
if i were you i would find an old pic of ya'll or an old dress, outfit, pair of jeans, etc. that she had from when she was smaller and say something like "i would love to see you slip into this again for me" but use the right tone, your tone of voice is very important.
or maybe she has said something about how she wants to lose wieght or that she's not happy about her weight, so get her a membership to a gym or a ladies only fitness club, when you give it to her tell her that you know that she's been wanting to get back into shape and you thought maybe that she would appreciate the gift. be tactful about it. let her know that you love her either way no matter what that way she won't think that you're degrading her for her size. but that you just wanted to do something nice for her
2006-10-05 14:22:05 · answer #7 · answered by gardener24 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your going to have to be honest with her here and sit her down and explain how your feelings are towards her. make sure you let her know you still love her and you want to be with her but the attraction is gone. and you dont' get excited like you use to.
and that you want to help with this your in it together afterall she didnt' get fat on her own. Im sure the food you have in the house the dinners your bring home from time to time fast food doesnt' help the driving her to go get a sundae etc...
So let her know you want to help. And if you have the money get her to join a gym if she doesn't like that get into sports together if she' doesn't want to join with strangers you take her bike riding or out for exercise.
You can start by going for a walk with her after dinner that will also give you time to catch up on both your day.
Can also help her by saying she will get a new wardrobe of nice things and you'll buy some new clothes for her soemthing she really wants. So she has a goal to go for.
Oh and find out if she's eating for comfort. sometimes women are loved by there husbands and so they fill the gap with food. So dont' forget to check yourself out do you swear at her put her down all these things will bring her down and she'll eat to forget the pain.
Hope that helps.
2006-10-05 18:43:54 · answer #8 · answered by For ever in my Heart 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your a loser. Tell your wife what you just told everyone on here. You don't want to cheat on her but you do. yeah so you cheat on your wife as if that is not bad enough its even worse when you blame her for it. Yeah it isn't her fault you cheat on her thats your own fault. and don't say that you don't want to cheat on her because you do. you don't respect your wife because she doesn't look the same. thats just shallow. I think you are the one that needs a reality check. so why are you with your wife because its pretty obvious you don't really love her. I really feel bad for her she probably thinks that you are a good guy and husband if she only knew what you really thought of her. She should leave you.
2006-10-05 14:30:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you're a jerk for wanting to cheat on your wife just because she doesn't look spectacular. She doesn't "make" you cheat on her with other women, you make that selfish choice all on your own.
Secondly, instead of saying, "You're fat, drop 100 pounds," why don't both of you engage in a healthier lifestyle TOGETHER? That way, you two can bond over healthier foods and exercise (go for jogs together, whatever), and maybe you'll learn to appreciate your wife for who she is, not what she looks like.
If she asks, just call it a health kick and say that you want to spend more time with her.
2006-10-05 14:18:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell her about it with the use of health issues regarding obesity. Tell her that you truly love her and don't want her to get any or all of those health problems associated with overweight such as heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, etc.
Never ask her to lose weight because you're losing sexual interest in her with her big size because she will just be disappointed with you and possibly eat more out of depression.
I'm sure that if she realizes that you are really concerned about her welfare and health and that you are afraid to lose her because you truly love her, she may easily subject herself to losing weight by cutting on her diet and/or enrolling in a weight loss program in one of the health centers in your area.
One word of advice... when you married her, you had your vows, so please remember them and no matter what becomes of her, you should stick with her for as long as your marriage which is sacred holds true.
2006-10-05 14:28:59 · answer #11 · answered by Ruzzo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋