who i date/marry to my younger brother, who is 28, i'm 30-and he's always been a friend but unfortunately has seen me make the worst relationship decisions in the past-of course in my early 20's-he's very critical by nature but means well-i've seen him waltz in and out of some interesting relationships as well-recently, i had told him that i met someone but then i was going to call it off due to my committment issues,that's another tale..but after thinking things thru, i decided to delve into this present relationship-and it's pretty serious-marriage talks,etc, so now i am feeling a bit awkward as to how to break the news to my brother without getting all defensive and upset-mike will be visiting and wants to meet my brother-and this is a tough one for me! please help, only serious mature responses...thanks!
2006-10-05 13:39:21 · 6 answers · asked by ria k 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
this is your life, although its wonderful when siblings and family approve of who you are with, they wont have to be with this person for the rest of their life, the choice is up to you, I would sit them down and talk to them, tell them if they love you they will support you in whatever decision you will make. Just because you have had some bad relationships in the past doesnt mean that this one will be. Think about it, it takes two people in a relationship, not everything that happened was your fault, therefore your bad relationship cannot be solely blamed on you. If you are marrying a good man you need to help them to see that he is good to you and is going to make you a great husband. Either way its your decision in the end, not that of your families. I know it hurts when they disapprove but even if they do, they will have to accept him as the man you chose to marry. Ive also been in some bad past relationships but I have found a guy that loves me and Im happy with him for the most part. My family was weary of him beforehand. You just need to help them to see exactly why he is good for you. Because they are your family they love you and above all do not want to see you getting hurt. Thats why I think that your brother is over protective of you. He's seen how many people have done you wrong and just wants you to have someone deserving of his sister.
2006-10-05 13:46:52 · answer #1 · answered by beautifullybroken 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are obviously very close to your brother and Im sure any advice he gives you is for your own well being. Explain to your brother that you are serious about this man. Let him give his opinion and thank him for it but explain that you would like him to meet this new guy and that you would like if the two of them could get along. Siblings are sometimes very close but you cannot let your brother make life decisions for you. If you love this man and he is right for you go for it. Everyone deserves happiness with a partner and to have the love and support from your family also. Good luck with everything.
2006-10-05 20:45:25 · answer #2 · answered by Teresa M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All I can say here is that although it's always "nice" to know that your family approves of the man you've decided to marry, it's ultimately "your" choice. If it ends up that your brother or anyone else for that matter, doesn't approve? Hey, "they" aren't going to marry the man, you are. Though it would be sad to not have things on a friendlier basis, you're a grown woman who makes her "own" decisions about your life. And by the same token, by sticking to your guns, your brother will more than likely respect you more, than if you buckled under just because of "his" opinion. Goodl uck & God bless you both.
2006-10-05 21:01:31 · answer #3 · answered by Republican!!! 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it's the real thing he'll be glad. If he has concerns, ask him to tell you in a kind and loving way.
If you have serious committment issues and it's affecting your quality of life, seek counseling to move past it so you can have wonderful relationships.
2006-10-05 20:42:21 · answer #4 · answered by booktender 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cut to d chase next time, d story is too long, back to d question- i do not think u need to justify anything to ur bro, there are no garantees in love, u had some bad relationships in d past.....so wat? it doesn't mean this will als turn out bad. be urself, don't even try to impress ur bro then he will sense it and think u are being defensive.
2006-10-05 20:46:05 · answer #5 · answered by gal-next-dr 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont know just tell him and dont be slow about it just tell him
2006-10-05 20:43:54 · answer #6 · answered by Pay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋