If U R Homosexual why mess up everyone else's life???

Question

If you are gay, and you were born that way why get married, have children, and then "come out of the closet" later. Is that really fair to your spouse or your children. Does that person not get to choose whether they want to father children with a homosexual?

Society may make it difficult to face what you are, but anyone that would do this to someone else and take their choices away from them just because you want to live a lie, is just plain wrong! If you want to argue the fact that you are born homosexual then you got married, purposely deceived someone, took vows in front of family and friends, and GOD and LIED! You then took more rights from someone when you laid with them a created a child all without that person having a say in how their life turns out. You don't have the right to do that! Live your life how you choose but don't take away everyone else's rights!

So what someone was telling me is that they didn't know they were gay when they got married?? If you were born gay, then you knew you were gay when you got married and you knew you wouldn't be happily married. You are just dragging someone else into your lie.
I totally agree with the cheating and divorce so if you know you are a loser and a cheater and you can't be honest don't get married. That will be a question I will ask in the heterosexual forum. That interests me as well.
I also don't believe if you are homosexual you can't be a good parent, I'm saying parent with someone who wants to parent with a homosexual not someone who believes they are in a committed heterosexual relationship.

For those of you that are telling me that you lived the lie because of people like me. That's another lie. I just want to know why you bring other people into your lie. I don't care that you are homosexual just be it with people that want it too! You can't blame heterosexuals adjusting this world to a homo-friendly environment it's going to take time just like anything else. If you are gay and are going to be that way. Be patient it will come. Those that love you most will accept you and to hell with everybody else. Stop blaming others. It's wrong to involve unknowing people there is really no way to justify it. It's just plain wrong and I have a sneaky suspicion that most of you know it.

Answer 1

You do have a point, but you have to realise that sometimes it's hard to deal with. I was engaged when I told my then-fiance, and I only left it that long because I thought I could "push it aside". I thought I could lie to myself and it would be ok. It had to get that far, and that serious, for me to realise I couldn't do it. It may not be fair to do that to your spouse, but in this world, you have to look out for yourself. Who says it's not fair on the kids? They still have a dad and a mum! And if they're lucky they can even have more than one of each! I don't see how it affects them negatively at all. May be a bit confusing, but they will be better off for it in the end.

Answer 2

1. My suggestion is to get our government out of the dark ages and start practicing the constitution.

2. If people are paying taxes, then they should have the same rights. Unfortunately, the easy answer is hard for stubborn bigots to accept. Heterosexuals are the ones with 'special rights'. One more mouth to add to the insurance and drive the cost of health insurance up for everyone. Stop complaining. We have it good. Why do you begrudge those not given the same rights as us?

3. You mention "before GOD." What would Jesus tell you? Let them die horrible deaths, because we are too xenophobic to allow them health insurance through their partner. Would Jesus tell you to be a party to murder by withholding rights that could save lives? Think about it. Maybe you are not as Christian, or whatever religion you believe, as you think.

4. It would also boost the economy, as I'm sure you realize the cost of weddings. I guess that's why this country moves in inches, while other countries move in leaps and bounds — they act upon the obvious.

5. As far as you are concerned, blaming oppressed people for their biological/genetic makeup is naive, to put it nicely. If you feel so strongly about it, put your money where your mouth is and help vote in LGBT marriages. Then, societal pressures won't be an oppressive burden or unnecessary shock to someone like you.

6. You obviously have no real experience with what LGBT people have to face in society. You talk as if things are 'cut and dry' and fair. Well they are not. And yes, some people realize it later than sooner — ever experience an epiphany in your life? I also have news for you, people experience heartbreak everyday whether it's a heterosexual partner or not.

Good Luck and Warm Wishes.

Answer 3

Our society is geared toward heteros..therefore we have not yet reached the point where it is acceptable to "come-out" at an early age. There are not many parents who openly encourage gender questions (most of us are too afraid of the sex question already) Because gender issues are not addressed at an early age, many young people do not identify themselves as gay until they reach a more mature age. There is also a lot of quilt involved, and many people fight their own orientation..Coming out after marriage It might not be "right" in your view, but there it is. I personally think guilt trips are not right, and blaming people for being human is judgemental, shallow and a waste of time... We need more open dialog in our society, at home, at school, etc. And certainly couples who are getting married should spend some time really talking about things before they take the plunge. Sometimes encouraging openness in a relationship might lead to it's ending, but better now than later...

Answer 4

Your question seems pointedly directed at MALE Homosexuals who marry and then come out.......although I'm not sure you are actually asking a question as much as venting. The reality is, however, that the deception doesn't start with one's spouse; it begins with one's self. While people may be "born gay" no one is raised to *be* gay. Quite the opposite, in fact. The pressure to maintain a heterosexual facade (even if one is dimly self-aware) is enormous and may be all consuming; something heterosexuals take for granted, by and large. I would hope that as more people view gay women and men as complete human beings as opposed to a "lifestyle choice" the self torture that many engage in will cease.

Answer 5

There are some people who honestly do not realize their born orientation until they are free to explore it later on in life. There are women and men who have been raised that heterosexual is the way and they know nothing else because they are not exposed to such things until they are older and more mature and able to take notice and pay attention to their own true desires. It does not mean that they purposefully deceived anyone. If a 'god' fearing man can lie to his wife, cheat on her, fall out of love with her, break every promise he ever made to her, divorce her, and marry [[[someone else]]]...how is that different from someone realizing their true orientation to be gay/homosexual and leaving a marriage to be with [[[someone else]]]...both situations are the same...people change their minds or lose love or fall out of love or find a stronger attraction to someone else...no purposeful or hurtful intent in either...Why are you not Damning straight people for leaving one partner for another after they have been given a child??? There is no difference.

Answer 6

Its a good question, but on the other hand why get married, have children and then have an affair with a member of the opposite sex? Why get married, have children and get divorced? Why get married at all, if you're planning to get divorced?

People change, things happen, alot of times people dont really know what the future holds. People grow apart.

Maybe they thought (through pressure) that it was the 'right' thing to do, did it, and after years of trying couldnt do it anymore.

over 50% of marriage ends in divorce, life is a gamble, homosexuality isnt to blame for all of it.

Answer 7

You got a point there, but many people arent that strong and they have been raised to believe that their sexuality is plain wrong and sick and they do what they think they are supposed to do. Then they regret it and go for what their nature tells them to do.
I had problems facing my sexuality and my friends and my mother advised me to try with a girl. But I would never do this, just to experiment with another human being in order to see whether I could make it work or not. But I do agree with you in general. If you are gay, be gay. But it doesnt necessarily mess other people's life. I know many people who came out to their wives and children and they got support from them and acceptance.

Answer 8

Oh just shut up! I'm not gay, and I'm not really close with anyone who is. BUT, you're question is just absurd and very ignorant. You don't seem very well educated, so my assumption is that you're probably young. Anyway, why are you trying to get people all worked up with such an ignorant question? Homosexuals are human beings, plain & simple, no exception to the rule. Gay,straight,bi,black,white,mexican,tall,short,fat,rich,poor...we're all one in the same.There are so many STRAIGHT people that fail in their marriages, that result in a broken household. There are many households that have abuse going on. It's human nature, and we have NO right to judge others based on what they prefer. I know a lot of people on here don't disagree with you, but plz, save your BS. YOU are polluting Yahoo Answers with your ignorance and prejudice

Answer 9

You are operating on the assumption that these men have a degree of self-awareness that would prevent them from getting married.
Societal conditioning can be a powerful thing - masculine gender roles celebrate the concept of 'family values' and the definition of manhood in the West is how many women you sleep with, the house, dog, wife and kids.

Answer 10

dear God is the only judge, judge not lest thou shall be judged. so get off your soap box stop being so self righteous and practice some compassion. the situation you described is not pleasant for anyone involved, so we should be helping not blaming. let those without sin cast the first stone, and since that person doesn't exist, get over it.