I'm terrified of labour and birth!! what should i do?

Question

My partner and I want to try for a baby in the next couple of months as we are sooo clucky and want a bunle of our own. BUT.... I am terrified of the labour and birth!! Not at all worried about the pregnancy or the next 18 yrs, just that... every time I think of it i get this really nervous - butterflies in stomach feeling and I'm scared that I will stress the baby out if this continues while I am pregnant! I am terrified of needles - maybe that's a slight factor and i am the biggest sook when it comes to pain.......

Anyone got any ideas before I go mental??

Answer 1

OK - first things first. It is going to hurt. If you want to get some idea of what it will be like, then move your hands to your face. Grab your top lip with both hands. now pull it right back over the top of your head. You are now in that kind of pain arena.!

Listen, you know it's going to hurt. It always has and it always will. All these millions of years of evolution and it is still a bit of a rubbish process. However, we have not got the stage where women have evolved a flip-top torso, so it is going to have to come out the conventional way.

My wife is no great lover of pain either, but she managed superbly well. The midwives and doctors are amazing at trying to minimise your discomfort, but it will not totally go away. Believe me, your fear of needles will not even enter your head as your mind will be somewhat occupied. in actual fact if the doctor had said to me that cutting off my own arm would have speeded up the process for my wife, I would gladly have volunteered.

From what you say, you are actually not going to be in for any real surprises. You know what is coming at you during the birth, so don't get worried about it. On the grand scale of things and for whhat you get back in return when your baby is born, then it is all worth it.

Look at all the thousands of babies born every day. For many of these mothers, it is their second, third or fourth baby. If it really was that traumatic a process, then women would stop after their first.

Enjoy your clucking. Enjoy the making and enjoy your pregnancy, then be thrilled when your own little bundle arrives. The birth is just a dot in the whole process. dont fret it.

Good luck to you both.

Answer 2

Talk to your dr or the hospital you will deliver at about a birthing class. There you will get all kinds of information about how your body will change through pregnancy and exactly what happens during labor. They should also cover breathing techniques which DO work so you can control the pain. That way you can avoid shots. The breathing techniques and focal point take a LOT of concentration, so if you decide to go that route, have your partner keep anyone (including drs and nurses) from interrupting your breathing or breaking your focal point by talking to you or even walking in front of your focal point. Your room should be kept free of distractions and interruptions while you are having a contraction. (That is SO important.) Your partner can field questions/concerns until your contraction is done.
Labor and delivery does hurt. But it is possible to control the pain. And you will forget all about it as soon as you hear the first cry and hold your baby for the very first time.
(And make sure you take plenty of snacks for after the delivery. Delivery uses up so much energy. You don't want to be so hungry you can't rest!)

Answer 3

You are going to be fine. I've given birth 3 times. They were all different but I survived them all. I wouldn't have had more than one if it was so terrible. :) Don't worry about your fear of needles. When it comes time to deliver you won't care what they stick in you. Good Lord I hope I didn't scare you more. :) Seriously, you will have some pain but there are many things they can do for you to ease your discomfort. I didn't have an epidural during all three deliveries but, both of my sisters did. They rave about them. Evidently you feel no pain and give birth in comfort and ease. I however, either did it with nothing or had demerol. I could still feel the pain with demerol and remember it but, I didn't care. It was wonderful! There is a reward at the end of the birth and I'm not talking about the baby. Although he/she will be a big reward. I'm talking about a feeling that is like no other. Once the baby comes out there is a wonderful feeling that will come over you. It's instant relief! Imagine the biggest doodoo you've ever had to pass. Remember the feeling of relief when you did? Well... multiply that by 10 or more. My sisters didn't experience that feeling because they had epidurals. I did all three times. The pain of labor was worth it to me.

Just a little advice... When you are pushing (and your body will tell you when to push... you don't have to worry about that) push like you are going a big Number 2. My first delivery I made the mistake of pushing from my stomach.... Big Mistake! It's normal to be scared. But you'll survive just like the rest of us and probably do it again because really... It's not that bad. Good luck to you and God bless!

Answer 4

Hi, I am in the same situation, I am 23 years old and I got off the pill after waiting five years to have a baby with my husband. I think I might be already pregnant and I am terrified now because of the thought of labor and really scared and confused about the epadual needles, I know that I don't have to have one but I don't know if I can stick it out with the pain. I scare myself more watching the shows like on TLC bringing baby home and such shows like that, but you know what I've thought of and you should too...have confidence in yourself, millions over millions of women have done this, just think of all of those women back then that had nothing to "ease" the pain. Just think about having that baby after everything that you are afraid of... it will make you more proud of yourself and to have something that you and your partner have created. Just try to think positive all the way and I'm sure that you will be fine.
I have two friends one has one that was almost 10 lbs and she had to have a c-section and the other friends has the cutest little 2 year old boy and is fixing to have a little girl in November, they both did fine and trust me you will too they have so much they can do for you now days, to comfort you through it all.
I know I probably didn't answer your question but I hope I helped you to understand you are not alone on this, it's alot of people are scared to death about labor.
Don't think about it until it comes to it. Just try to relax and I am sure when you find out that you are pregnant it will get easier cause you will be so excited if you are trying as hard as I am. I wish you luck and the best.

Answer 5

Everyones labor and delivery is a different experience...If ur scared already of that part just remember this DO NOT LISTEN TO ANYONES HORROR STORIES, because that doesnt mean its going to happen to you. Thats the part I was worried about as well, so I told people whoever had bad stories, I didnt want to hear about it. Plus there is an epidural which is great!!! Once you have the baby, no matter how much pain you thought you were in you totally forget it. Enjoy your pregnancy, because it is a beautiful thing, when you do get pregnant. It was so great!!

Answer 6

I used to be terrified of needles but when i got pregnant i told myself that i had to do everything for my baby and i wasnt at all scared anymore to do anything at all. Its amazing how much you will do for your baby when they are growing inside you.
I also told myself not to be scared of the labour or birth because i was going to HAVE to do it anyway and that worked to. I guess its all just power of the mind! I was terrified at the thought of it before i got pregnant too, but it really is nothing to be worried about.
There are lots of meds like the epidural that will get you through it, and even without the epidural, us girls are made to do it, and you get through every contraction one step at a time and deal with it i guess. As soon as you have your baby you feel no pain. Its all good, best of luck with you upcoming baby. Dont let your fear of labour and birth stop you from having your own baby. Its such an amazing experience and the love that they give you is amazing. You will appreciate your own mother a whole lot more when you give birth to one of your own.

Answer 7

Yeah i used to be affraid of needles,that was before i started having children,which i now have 6. I will tell youi was so nervous about getting my blood taken and the possible i.v when i give birth.It really isn't that bad.Your initial visit they will take about 9 viles of your blood,but thats really the worst of it.Again at 16 weeks they take 2 viles,and from there on out if everything seems okay you won't have to worry about needles until you give birth.And you do not always have to have an i.v while in labor ,i never did until i had twins and that was incase it didn't go as planned.I know being affraid of needles is serious,i still get sweaty hands thinking about getting my blood taken so i understand what you are saying.If you need any more help or just someone to talk to about your worries feel free to e-mail me and i will help you out.

Answer 8

I was the exact same! I still don't like needles, It does hurt,but if you have a good labor coach and you both attend lamaze classes and learn to breathe and stay concentrated ,it's much easier!, They say as soon as you hold your baby you forget the pain....that's a lie! lol for the next week or so everytime you sit down.get up or roll over you will remember the pain!But when you hold your baby you'll realize it was well worth it!

Answer 9

I think everyone goes thru the terrified feelings at one point or another. I cried all the way to the hospital KNOWING what was going to happen next. Doctors have seen it all and they can help you get thru the fear. There are alot of different types of drugs they can give you to help you relax and ease the pain if you need it. If you get pregnant, tell the doc at your first visit just how you are feeling. They will support you. If you have a good support system of friends, family, and of course the dad, you will do just fine!

Answer 10

Are you scared of the pain? If you are then get an epidural.
Just read up on labor and delivery, the best thing to do is to know what you are getting into. I have had two babies, and am pregnant with my third.Yes it does hurt, but no one would make the mistake more than once if it wasn't worth it!!!