I am 17 years old and have been dating my boyfriend for 1 year. Lately, he has really been asking me to have sex. (I'm still a virgin.) I want to show that I am committed to our relationship, but I don't want to regret it later on. How should I respond?
2006-10-05 11:50:15 · 21 answers · asked by beautyqueenjustine 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I regret some of the guys I've had sex with. But I also regret a lot of other things I've done. That's life. You're never going to do anything meaningful if you don't do anything you're afraid you might regret.
2006-10-05 14:05:27 · answer #1 · answered by Emily 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Commitment does not equal sex, it equal respect, and respect works both ways. Your 17 you have a long life ahead of you sex is not really important. You will be able to have sex for years and years so why rush it. If you are not ready your not ready, you will be having sex more years then you were a virgin, that's alot, so no rush
2006-10-05 18:58:19 · answer #2 · answered by Jennifer Dalpe 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you answered your own question: You DON'T want to regret it later on. Always remember that!
Just think about when you get married or find the guy you want to be with forever (and I *don't* think it's this guy who needs sex to stay in a relationship. Personally I think you should reconsider him as a boyfriend. Does he care about your feelings *at all*?). Anyway, when you *do* get married, you'll be much more glad if you had waited to have sex. I think it must be difficult to trust your partner when both have had sex with other people before. Both my husband and I were each other's firsts, and we are so happy about that!
And, having sex too early can cause *so* much more anxiety. =( What if you two break up? You'll have given him your most precious gift that you can never get back, and he'll probably just brag to his friends about how he got laid!! Plus, you'll have to worry about pregnancy and birth control, and what if you *do* get pregnant?? It's too too much to handle, and teenagers already have enough on their plates, you don't need to add anything extra on top of it!!
Anyways, please think about your future and don't do anything that you may regret for the rest of your life!!
2006-10-05 19:08:51 · answer #3 · answered by Japandra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Giving up your virginity isn't the best way to show you are committed. Like you said, you don't want to regret it. I would suggest waiting. That is something you want to hold on to until you are absolutely sure you are ready.
2006-10-05 18:58:15 · answer #4 · answered by emmadropit 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There r other ways you can please him without giving away your virginity! Theres oral sex. you can please him with just your hand? OR just plain let him know u r not ready to take that plunge and if he loves u the way he says he does then he will wait until u r ready for it! I met my hubby in 10th grade in highschool and we r still together 20 years later and I made him wait almost 3 years - the day after graduation to finally do IT! Never ever let anyone pressure u into doing something u r not ready for! If he loves u he will be willing to wait and will understand!
2006-10-05 21:48:24 · answer #5 · answered by cstinkerbell6969 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are still very young and having sex now to prove "commitment" is not the way to go. Explain to him that you want to wait to have sex. As for him, don't you think he should be proving his commitment by respecting you? That to me would prove he really cares. If he is only in it for sex, and he may be, most are, you need to hold your ground.
Caring for someone, respecting them, being good to them, all shows commitment.
2006-10-05 18:55:23 · answer #6 · answered by MadforMAC 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Go with your deepest feeling about doing this and that will be your answer. Sex usually sabotages relationships especially pre-marital. It brings in new insecurities and jealousies that maybe didn't exist before. Just make sure you really want to do this before you do, and be ready to accept all the consequences.
2006-10-05 18:55:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Listen to your heart; it is directing you in the right way.
Dedication to a relationship is shown in the form of fidelity--not sex. If you have been loyal to your boyfriend, that should be enough at this age.
You WILL regret having sex. Wait.
2006-10-05 18:55:01 · answer #8 · answered by Katyana 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
do not under any circumstances give up your virginity to show that boy that u love him. if he loves u, he will respect ur choice and wait until u r ready. if he should break up with u because of it, then his love is not true enough to withstand the test of time. ditto if he cheats on u and says he had to so u 2 can stay together. if they wont wait, they r not worth it.
2006-10-05 19:09:40 · answer #9 · answered by Nora G 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him directly you're not ready. If he breaks up with you because of it, then he doesn't care for you, he's just looking for sex.
2006-10-05 18:56:05 · answer #10 · answered by ♥Raven 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋