please, what are my mistake here? can you help me re-write?

Question

"Shut up Frank" the man said angirly, kicking him in the ribs. This however only caused him to gasp in pain once again.

"you!!!!!!" cried joe as he raced down the stairs, "stop hurting my brother! Leave - him - alone" he tried to kick the man in the ribs but was diverted by a gunshot that barely missed him.

well his attention was elsewere, joe was knocked unciontuos and gagged by the second man. "Now," the first man said, "lets get back to our fun, huh Franky?"

Answer 1

"Shut up FRANK" THE MAN SAID ANGIRLY, kicking him in the ribs. This HOWEVER ONLY caused him to gasp in pain once again.

"YOU!!!!!!" cried JOE as he raced down the stairs, "STOP hurting my brother! Leave - him - alone" he tried to kick the man in the ribs but was diverted by a gunshot that barely missed him.

WELL his attention was ELSEWERE, Joe was knocked UNCONTUOS and gagged by the second man. "Now," the first man said, "lets get back to our fun, huh Franky?"


"Shut up Frank,” the man, said angrily, kicking him in the ribs. This however, only caused him to gasp in pain once again.

"You!!!!!!" cried Joe as he raced down the stairs, "Stop hurting my brother, leave - him – alone!" he tried to kick the man in the ribs but was diverted by a gunshot that barely missed him.

While his attention was elsewhere, Joe was knocked unconscious and gagged by the second man. "Now," the first man said, "Let’s get back to our fun, huh Frankie?"

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First and last names need to be capitalized.
You misspelled “angrily” as “angrily” (he is angry, not an angry girl, you spelled it as “girl.”)
You need to include the punctuation marks inside the quotation marks.
“However” and “but” are words that create a compound clause, by combining two sentences into one. So they are accompanied with a comma.
When you are writing speech then you need to consider each line as a sentence, so “Shut up Frank,” is actually a sentence. Therefore “the” should be capitalized as well as the “s” in “stop hurting my brother!” That is a complete sentence so even if it wasn’t speech then it should be capitalized.
You don’t need to write “You” in all capital letters; after all you have all those exclamation marks after it. Therefore either use the exclamation marks (!!!!!) or the all caps (YOU). What you did isn’t necessarily wrong, but I would rethink it.
Even if a person is speaking in incomplete sentences, they are his sentences and so should start with a capital letter.
Your sentence should read “Stop hurting my brother, leave – him – alone!” You might have wanted to write “LEAVE – HIM – ALONE!” to put some strong emphasis on it.
Well in the last paragraph should be “While” Your character should have his attention elsewhere, so that means “While” as in While you are doing this.
You forgot the h in “elsewere” it should be “elsewhere.”
You misspelled “unconscious” as “uncontuos.”
Again you need to capitalize the “w” in “well.”
“Let’s” should be capitalized as the beginning of a sentence.
“lets” is a contraction, a shortening of the two words “let us” therefore the apostrophe mark is required.
The more common spelling of Joe’s friend uses an “ie” not a “y;” so Frankie is the preferred spelling.

I have horrible spelling and grammar so I usually put my answers into my Word Processing Program, Microsoft Word. I suggest that you invest in a similar program if you want to write in the English language.

Postscript:
Like I said, you got shot down by petty people who are just looking for the two points and a chance to insult someone. If you never ask then you will never get the help you so clearly need. English could be your second language or you could have had some really bad instruction. So I am not blaming you for your poor grammar (ah, grammar is spelled with 2 “a”s) You should talk with your teacher about some extra help in English. It is one of the most difficult languages in the world, but it is fast becoming a world wide language and that's because it is one of the most powerful languages; you can do a whole lot in English, and I encourage that you seek help beyond this forum.

I suggest that you think about changing your screen name. If you call yourself a moron, then a moron you will be.

Answer 2

"Shut up Frank!" the man said angrily, kicking him in the ribs. This however only caused him to gasp in pain once again.

"You!!!!!!" cried Joe as he raced down the stairs, "Stop hurting my brother! Leave - him - alone!" he tried to kick the man in the ribs, but was diverted by a gunshot that barely missed him.

While his attention was else were, Joe was knocked unconscious and gagged by the second man. "Now," the first man said, "Lets get back to our fun, huh Franky?"


Just a couple of grammatical errors. In English, that means that some words that weren't capitalized needed to be capitalized, a coma added here and there, and a few spelling mistakes. Nothing to worry about, you're doing great!

Answer 3

First of all when writing a story, you do not have to use exclamation points. You may want to use spell checker. It should look something like this

"Shut up" said the man with anger as he kicked the person he was speaking to in the ribs. The swift kick to the ribs made the abused man gasp deeper from the pain.

"You." shouted Joe as he raced down the stairs to help his brother. "Stop hurting him and kicking him, leave him alone." Joe attempted to kick the man in the ribs, but his attention was taken away by a gun shot that whizzed past his head.

The firing of the gun had drawn Joes attention and suddenly he was down from a knock on the head. Joe was bound and gagged while he was unconscious.

"Now Franky." said the man, "lets get back to our fun."

Answer 4

I hope this helps. Corrections are in brakets [ ]

"Shut up Frank"[,] the man said angirly[should be*angrily*], kicking him in the ribs. This[,] however[,] only caused [other charecter's name instead of "him" ]to gasp in pain once again[should be*more*].

"[Y*capitalized]ou!!!!!!"[,] cried [capitaliezd J]oe as he raced down the stairs, "stop hurting my brother! [switch this sentence with next sentence]Leave[ ... ]him [...]alone[.]" capitalised H]e tried to kick the man in the ribs but was diverted by a gunshot that [just]barely missed him.

[while] his attention was elsewere, [J]oe was knocked [unconcious]and [was]gagged by [another]man. "Now," the first man said, "[L]et[']s get back to our fun, huh Franky?"


if u do put "stop hurting and kicking him" as the person above me says, then do not put kicking. just hurting. if u say kicking as well as hurting, you will be too obvious.

Answer 5

"Shut up, Frank!" the man said angrily as he kicked him in the ribs. Gasping in pain, Frank tried to bite back the curses he wanted to say.

"You!" cried Joe. Racing down the stairs, he bellowed, "Stop hurting my brother! LEAVE--HIM--ALONE!" While trying to kick him in ribs, Joe barely dodged the bullet that was aimed at him by his brother's attacker.

While his attention was elsewhere, Joe was knocked unconscious and gagged by the other man who was hiding. "Now," the first man said, "Lets get back to our fun, eh Franky?"


its not perfect but its the best I can do in 2 minutes..

Answer 6

The Bible became exceeded down for hundreds of years as portion of an oral custom earlier it became ever written. Then, it became translated distinct cases into many languages. of direction, there have been blunders! have you ever performed the game "operator" once you've been youthful? No, i don't have self belief the Bible as an complete.

Answer 7

If you can type and use the internet, you can do this on your own. But I know some people will be bored, and give you the answers. I didn't have internet when I was growing up.

Answer 8

do you want someone else to write your whole story for you? The teacher is going to know you cheated cuz your teacher is probably aware of your horrible spelling & grammer by now.

Answer 9

Can I get fries with that?

This is a phrase you will hear many times in your life.

Answer 10

How many more of these "rephrase" questions are you going to ask? Aren't 20 enough?