Is there anyone i could get in touch with in order to help her? She has just been through an 'episode' and is now back out the other side saying everything is ok. It would be easy to bang on about how she should leave but I don't think this is what she wants to hear. What can I do?
2006-10-05 11:29:29 · 17 answers · asked by yummy_mummy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Thanks for the help everyone!
2006-10-06 04:24:00 · update #1
All you can do is be there for her.Only she can make the decision to leave if and when it's right for her. Hard feeling helpless and looking on while a friend suffers but you can talk to her, suggest she contacts various places etc but ultimately it's her decision. Be her friend, thats all you can do.
2006-10-05 11:32:50 · answer #1 · answered by Saskia M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk, talk and talk, then be there for her every time, until she eventually sees that the future she thinks she has with her partner; the one where she can change him, be 'better' for him, be what he needs/wants her to be and love him forever unconditionally, is nothing more than empty hope and will never be. Then support her whilst she starts realising that she is the one deserving and worthy of being loved, cared and protected, that it isn't her that is going 'wrong' in the relationship and that by finding her strength and regaining her self worth in an uncertain future, is better than being stuck in one that will never fulfill her needs. She will then open the door and walk out of it regardless of any one else's opinion of what she should or shouldn't have done.
2006-10-05 18:44:32 · answer #2 · answered by GalaxyGirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is be there for her. Listen to her problems. She has to be the one to make the changes in the relationship. You can't do it for her. She has to be the one who wants to leave. She has to be the one who's had enough. And sometimes, something really bad has to happen before that can happen. I'm sorry to say that. But you sound like a good friend. Just being there for her and listening to her problems is all you can do for now. Good luck.
2006-10-05 18:36:11 · answer #3 · answered by Jenna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be there for her as a friend & incase she needs a place to stay if & when she leaves him. It's a bad situation. If you see abuse first hand, I guess you can report it annonomously but that could cause her even more problems. She needs to grow a backbone & get out before she gets really hurt.
2006-10-05 18:38:40 · answer #4 · answered by pattysez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When it all boils down to it , she will leave when she is ready. Tell her your opinion and back it up with the cold hard truth. Tell her you care about her well being and that you will be there to help when she needs it. If nothing comes of this and you end up being the person that has to hear about all of it, remind her that complaining about it does nothing and that SHE is the one deciding to tolerate it. Its not her fault that her husband is abusive, it is her fault shes still there.
2006-10-05 18:35:08 · answer #5 · answered by teenypurplebinky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through this myself. Just tell her she needs to stay strong. This man is nothing but a bully and a coward.
And the next time he makes some horrible comment, tell her to give him a good smack in the mouth!
Thats what I did, and d'ya know what?, he never did it again!
Hope she gets through this ok. Let us know. x
2006-10-05 18:42:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like any person with an addiction (her addiction is him!) she has to first admit she (the relationship) has a problem....then, and only then, can anyone help her!! You can't help her until she hits the absolute rock bottom!! I know this is hard to hear, but it's the truth!! Organize an intervention.....for the husband, that is!!
2006-10-05 18:40:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go out for a drink and discuss it , and then go home together and be emotionally abusive to himand see how he feels about it.Tell her every thing you do our get yourself involved in goes back to who you are yourself. The best way to get out of situations like this, is to blame yourself for your own predicament. This is the first step, believe you me, to disentangle herself from the mess she has herself in: it's her first step to freedom, and that's coming from a man!
2006-10-05 18:42:27 · answer #8 · answered by dalusdec 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be as supportive friend. she will leave when she is ready to, then approach womens aid in the first instance then the local council homeless section to make an application under domestic violence: the local authority is legally bound to offer assistance in these cases.
she has to make her own decisions.
2006-10-05 18:34:41 · answer #9 · answered by frankiethebear2002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had 10 years of that and it isnt nice hugs to her? there is nothing you can do by the way it is up to your friend to snap n say to herself ive had enuff of this and walk? oh sorry or you could ring the police next time it all kicks off i wish some 1 did 4 me ;) good luck and hugs to your friend ;)
2006-10-05 18:55:51 · answer #10 · answered by jane e 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to tell her how you feel and make sure she knows she has your support 100%. She will need a good friend. Not alot you can do other then be there for her.
2006-10-05 18:33:14 · answer #11 · answered by star28 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋