i am attracted to my hubbys friend/serious answers only?

Question

we( my hubbys friend and me) have made mistakes before in the past and i forgave my self but still find it exciting to see him, or even to talk to him, why is this? my hubby shows me attention but i feel i get excited when his friend is around. we have 2 smaill kids i stay at home all day and feel blaaa about my self and this guy has always showed me attention and we always had this flirtly thing going on and it got out of hand one night when we were together and things happened when they totally should of not and i felt horriable but could ot tell my husband. i swore that it would not happen again and thats all i think about the guilt inside me is bad, but know its better off not telling my hubby what happened. why do i still get a high when this guy is around??? please help and if your going to leave a dumb answer please move on to the next question, i really need help

Answer 1

You are playing with fire. If you love your husband and kids, stay away from this man. It is that simple.

Answer 2

WHAT'S MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU? FORGET ALL THAT OTHER BULLSH*T, WE ALL HAVE FELT THAT WAY IN A SENSE AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER. BUT YOU NEED TO CONSIDER WHAT YOU GIVING UP STILL FOOLING AROUND WITH THIS DUDE AND HE'S NOT JUST ANYONE HE'S YOUR HUSBAND OR BF'S FRIEND. THAT'S BEYOND CROSSING THE LINE. IF YOU LOVE YOU FAMILY END IT NOW BECAUSE WHAT YOU DO IN THE DARK ALWAYS COMES TO LIGHT. AND WHEN IT DOES THEN WHAT? DO YOU REALLY THINK HIS FRIEND IS GONNA BE SERIOUS ABOUT GETTING WITH YOU? IN HIS HEAD HE ALREADY KNOWS WHAT KIND OF WOMAN YOU ARE. AND WHAT ARE YOU BENEFITING FROM THIS? ARE YOU GONNA LOSE MORE IN THE END THAN WHAT YOUR GAINING NOW? I MEAN WE ALL HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT CHEATING ON ARE MATES BUT IN THE LONG RUN REALLY IS THAT LITTLE BULLSH*T A** HIGH OR WHATEVER YOU SAY IT IS YOU GET WHEN HE COMES AROUND WORTH IT. WHAT ABOUT YOUR KIDS WHERE WILL THAT LEAVE THEM ONCE MOMMY AND DADDY LIVE IN DIFFERENT HOUSES CAUSE THAT WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN. GET OVER THIS DUDE AND YOURSELF AND DO WHAT'S RIGHT. CAUSE IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE HE'S INTERESTED IN YOU ANY FURTHER THAN A BOOTY CALL, WHICH HE'S NO LONGER GONNA WANT AFTER THE SH*T HITS THE FAN IN THE END YOUR GONNA BE THE SLUT AND THE WHORE AND THE HOMEWRECKER EVEN THOUGH IT'S NOT TRUE AND IT TAKES TO TO TANGLE YOU KNOW WHAT THE STEREOTYPE IS. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU NEED TO DO YOU'VE HAD YOUR FUN NOW END IT.!

Answer 3

You get butterflies in your stomache because it must have been the most exhilarating thing that you have done and had in a very long time. You know its wrong and you can't do it because of your husband and his feelings, which makes you think about it even more. Temptation is what's killing you, not the guilt. Deep inside, you wish there could be another night, but you know it can't happen because of your man. Don't ever tell him, ever. I think that ever woman thinks about an ex or a fling that they have had and wonder. You get happy when he's around b/c it was good. Then you have to think about your husband, how would you like it if he slept with one of your best friends behind your back? how would you take it?

Answer 4

From what you have said it sounds like you are having an emotional tug of war with yourself. You know what you did was wrong and that pulls at your moral strings but yet there was a fire and a passion which seems to be missing and that also pulls you. It is normal to have someone turn you on but the differance is you have to channel that energy elsewhere. It sounds to me like you still love your husband and do not want to do anything to hurt him. So I would recommend that when his friend is around that you try not to put yourself in a precarious position and if you are still feeling those flutters after he leaves, get the kids to bed and shower your passion upon your husband. I hope this helps some. In all truth you are the only one who can make the decisions. I wish you good luck.

Answer 5

It isn't odd, it isnt out of the ordinary for this to happen. The only real way to deal with it is have a heart to heart with hubby. Secrets kill relationships. You need to figure out what you want first and approach the situation as such. You need to distance yourself from this man and keep him away from your family. If you dont you risk him telling your hubby which would no doubt ruin your marriage. Learn from the mistakes you have made. You seem to love your family dearly, but the monotomy of a relationship and routine with small children can drive many women to cheat. You need to tell your husband how you feel, go out of your way to change that. Plan special evenings home or out together, dress so you feel sexy and desirable, and learn to recreate the sparks between you and your hubby. I am sure you can get over this hump and have a wonderful marriage. If it is what you want, you will work for it, and achieve it. God Bless.

Answer 6

That's a very difficult situation, and I know what you mean. My husband's a wonderful guy, but... there's probably not an easy answer for us. I found that it was harder for me when I was staying home. Maybe if you go out more it will help. Also, exercising outside will help clear your mind and help you control your emotions.

When you begin lusting after this guy, you need to stop it as soon as it starts. Think about other things, or concentrate on your husband and things you can do to show him you love him.

Also, it really helps alot to talk to your husband about how you feel. Some people think it's odd, but my husband and I are really up-front about being attracted to other people. It helps us to help each other and keep each other out of situations that could cause temptation, and it helps us to trust each other because we know we tell each other everything. Depending on how far you went with this man, perhaps it's best not to tell your husband, because it will hurt him. But you should tell him that you find his friend attractive, and ask him to help you in this area, while you try to shift your emotions for the guy over to your husband where they belong. Good luck! I know it's not easy! But it's so important!

Answer 7

My suggestion is to stay away from your hubby's friend but you also are going to need to tell him or the guilt will eat you up inside and it will get to the point that it will feel like your going to explode if you don't tell him. It's better to tell him now about the affair then later because it will hurt him a whole lot worse later then now. You also have to prepare for him to go both ways to. Whether he forgives you again or he divorces you and leaves you for good. Either way you need to tell him he has a right to know. I just hope everything doesn't go sour for you and your hubby, and try to go to marriage counseling to work on the relationship that you both have left, if any.

Answer 8

He doesn't sound like a very good friend to you or your husband. Every marriage has rough spots, but if you really love your husband you will back away from the things you know are tempting you. Write down what attracted you to your husband in the first place, how you use to be so in love, make a romantic dinner....get the spark back. Telling your husband would most def end their friendship, but you are the only one that knows if he would leave you over it. But put yourself in his shoes, would you want to know if he did something like that. I don't know what I would do ~ I would hope I could tell my husband, that way the friend could quit coming around and hopefully my husband would forgive me. But you have to decide that part. Good Luck.

PS I know what you mean about feeling excited and such, but you know what, I learned that my husband can give me those same feelings.

Answer 9

First off you really need to stay away from this guy no matter what.You're playing with fire and liable to get burnt, very badly. From both sides- your hubby and this guy. Remeber that you have little ones to consider. It's not just your life that you're playing around with. You need to talk to someone close to you about the feelings that you are having, maybe you pastor or a counselor. It sounds like you having some self esteem issues. Good luck

Answer 10

You obviously didn't feel to horrible if you never told your hubby. Something like that would eat at my conscience forever until it was told.
If you still get a "high" when this guy is around, then you need to make sure your never around when he is because you have a fantasy crush on this guy. I don't think it is because you really want to have him for life, I think it just may be that "I can't have him" but have the hots for him thing going on in your mind and it is a thrill to hide.
Stay away.

Answer 11

I think you may have developed feelings for your hubby's friend and if you want to be with his friend ask him and let him know how he feels before you make any hasty decisions... Your husband's friend flirts back at you and obviously shows that it wasn't just a one night stand that he may have feelings for you, but if you want it to work with your husband i think you should let him know, just realize there is a chance of your husband leaving you and alot of trust issues will delve lop if you tell him that you cheated and especially with his best friend... If you don't want anything to happen with the friend then simply tell your husband don't you don't' want him coming over or when he comes avoid him as much as you can and you can always keep this from your husband but will consensus i think thats how you spell catch up with you will u be able to live with that guilt really think about it ? good luck 2 you