I met my ex husband here in miami and we were together for 6yrs.and we finally got and divorce but just a couple of days ago he found me and now we are talking on the phone every night now for 4 days.Long conversations about old times,laughing at each other and talking about all kinds of things.i'm wondering should i give him another chance or not,because he asked me will i remarry him again.He wants me back so what should i do.
PLEASE HELP!!!
2006-10-05 08:25:25 · 29 answers · asked by thickness 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Weigh out the good and bad then make your decision. Obviously you had problems in the past but if your able to get through these then go for it.
2006-10-05 08:33:06 · answer #1 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on what happened for the reason you got devorced. If he cheated on you the last time the answere would be dont take him back. You need to explain more of the relationship before you got divorced. There is a reason why you two did it. It had to be bad enough for you to get a divorce. And ask your self is it worth the risk!!! Do I really want to go through the pain again?? Has he really changed, you will never no till it is to late... So if I where you I really would not risk it again. There is someone else out there that is better for you that would treat you like a queen. Dont look they will find you. It worked for me. I had the same situation as you about 10 years ago. I know how you feel.
2006-10-05 15:39:52 · answer #2 · answered by hotmamma6988@verizon.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay first off you have to go back to why you got a divorce in the first place and consider all those facts then you have to decide if it is the same as it was before do you really want to open that door again, a few facts there not really a answer but just some things to think about. I have been divorced for almost a year and there is no way i would take my ex back i deserve better took me 13 years to figure it out but there it is
2006-10-05 15:32:20 · answer #3 · answered by nutnbutafreak2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We can hardly tell you if or not to get back with your ex. You and only you know why you broke off and divorce to begin with. You need to do a lot of soul searching to find this answer for yourself. I don't think you can hardly say you will marry this man again based on 4 days of talking to each other over the phone.
Whatever made you divorce to begin with.... has that changed... have you changed.... where are you in life right now... where is he in life right now.... if he had habits you didn't like the first time.... what has he done to work on those things.... what have you done to address the things he didn't like about you.... who wanted the divorce the first place... you or him... or was it mutual...
It's all fun and dandy to talk and laugh about the old times and all... but that is hardly what you make a marriage out of. If the first time and old time was that good...... you would not have divorced to begin with.
Why does he want you back....... DO YOU WANT HIM BACK?
If you decide it is worth maybe another chance.... the a lot of time to discover each other again..... let him court you... date each other again...
In my opinion, at this point, you can not make a decision to marry him again. You still have a lot to answer to. You are not together now, so nothing wrong in taking your timeeeeeeeee. Even if you two just become friends and find each other again. Just don't be sooo hurry to sign that marriage certificate.
Good luck!!
2006-10-05 15:41:11 · answer #4 · answered by Tayo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to remember why you were divorced in the first place. Right now, the both of you are dealing with an emotional bond and familiarity that comes from being married and with someone every day for years. You seem to have forgotten the down side of that same every day for years. I am not saying you should not try, but you need to remember why you parted ways and ask yourself, if it has changed or if it just does not seem to be there because you have not been together.
2006-10-05 15:29:46 · answer #5 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask yourself these questions;
1. Why did you divorce, and what has changed since then.
2. With all the possible people in the world, are you sure you can't do better
3. Is it love, or do you miss the friendship/sex, or whatever. Is it a certain component you miss?
4. What would his motivations be.
5. Have you talked to any friends who suffered with you through the divorce, and gotten feedback from them.
6. What ground-rules would you make, if you remarried, and are you certain he would stick to them? (or that you would).
Good luck!
2006-10-05 15:30:54 · answer #6 · answered by Sad-Dad 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
remember why you got divorced in the first place. Don't just remember the good times. There were serious problems with the marriage. He is most likely very horny right now, but he can get over that quickly, then you are in a bad marriage again.... Unless there was a huge repentance and turn around on both your parts, I would keep it all to a phone conversation.
2006-10-05 15:29:32 · answer #7 · answered by daj11551 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has your life without him been better? Are you truly fulfilled as a person without him? In your heart and mind there is a balance (as far as love is concerned) that you have to think about. And if in your heart of hearts you know that life with this man(and the problems) is better than without him, jump all over it.
Just make sure you have control of the situation, your dignity, and most of all do not give up your identity.
Life can be so fun, and being solo can be a blast, a good career is great, but without love?
Nothing that happened really matters in the end as long as you both stay healthy and try your absolute hardest and fight for that love.
2006-10-05 21:42:59 · answer #8 · answered by gettingbetteratit 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well- if you're talking on the phone for long hours and he insists in keeping in touch with you he sounds like he misses you and wants you back. If you relaly love him and depending why you got devorced- give it a chance. Give yourself 3 months to "date" him again and see how it goes. Don't tell him he has that limit but- test him. IF you get along better or whatever-t hen move in with him again- don't marry him again until you feel ready to do so. Besides- there must have been a really good reason why you decided to get divorced. Otherwise- if the divorce reason was for being unfaithful- you should stop talking to him. He will feel like you're trying to lead him on. In this case- move on with your life. Best of luck to you!
2006-10-05 15:30:16 · answer #9 · answered by mari 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember the reason that the two of you got divorced in the first place. How severe was it? I'd make my decision from there. You know how you feel and there is nothing wrong if you want to get back with him, but do it for the right reasons. Your reasons. Good luck.
2006-10-05 15:29:19 · answer #10 · answered by blackwidow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋