We have been married for almost two years . We dont always see things each others way . He dosen't want to agree to disagree....... I love him what do i do ???????????
2006-10-05 08:23:03 · 21 answers · asked by teap360 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The only way to stop is to stop.
You have to pick your battles. If you are both hard headed and stubborn, then it's going to be tough. Some people have to be right and win no matter what. Which one of you does? Hope it's not both of you.
When something really isn't that important, let it go. If you need a closure on something, use this line, "Honey, I love, let's not talk about this anymore."
2006-10-05 08:27:00 · answer #1 · answered by Manny 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My wife and I have had similar problems when discussing certain topics, I am politically very conservative and she is liberal (because she was raised that way..) I am conservative because of the realities of the world. We don't do well when politics are discussed as we flatly refuse to see the other side. We don't see middle ground either. So agreeing to disagree is the answer even though you don't think it' s happening some fights are not worth fighting. We agree on important things such as how to landscape the yard, or taste in wood paneling, or the love we share for our teenagers. Things we disagree on will not matter in the long hauls. Things like that change from day to day. But the important stuff like family that is what matters..
We love each other but have found discussing politics is not something we should do. We agree on many other things. And love each other dearly.
2006-10-05 15:49:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I have been married for 2yrs now too and we don't see eye to eye on everything but we do on what matters the most. If you love someone you don't always have to agree with them on everything, everyone has a right to their own opinion. So just don't let it get too out of hand and have him have all the say so in the house, because if you do then he's going to think that he can make all the decisions around the house or that he's always right. So do what you feel is best for you and your husband, spend more time doing something fun together.
2006-10-05 16:22:47 · answer #3 · answered by Fiona M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk. Tell him how you feel. Give him examples of situations which have troubled you and try to talk them through so that you can reach an understanding. Unfortuantely, if you are not able to talk about this rationally and reach some kind of understanding then you are either going to have to: a) argue all the time; b) be submissive, and just put up with it; c) go your own separate ways. People who live together have to learn the art of compromise; those that don't are going to be in for a very turbulent time, and eventually it will take its toll. Resolve it now. If he also loves you then he will at least try to meet you half way.
2006-10-05 15:29:22 · answer #4 · answered by John P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try to compromise. He wants to do something one way, then that time do it his way, then the next time you get to do it your way. If it's because of something said, instead of arguing why you said it, admit to guilt and aopologize (make sure to explain to him that if he said something wrong, he should also aopologize). By doing so, you nip it in the bud even before the fight can begin. My mom told me, and it is turning out to be very true, that the woman usually makes more of the sacrifices cause we can handle them better. We have the mental capability of more complex thought, that's why women are always so emotional and analyze everything, and guys are so simplistic!!!! Sometimes my hubby says something like, "..because you're the one that gets to spend the money,", then I say, "that's not fair, I don't count grocery shopping as GETTING to spend the money," then he'll say, "well i'm always at work and it alwasy seems to be gone as soon as I can make it," then I say,"bills, bills, bills, bills, bills, and by the way, we have a ton of money saved up, THANK YOU VERY MUCH," and so on and so forth. So sometimes at the begining of it, i say, "we've had this argument a million times, i'm done with talking about it, can we do something else, please?" Of course no one is perfect and it doesn't work all the time but it deffinately makes a big differance. That's what marriage is, it takes time to get used to the idea that it's we now, not just me, and you learn to work together. Joel and I learned it early because he's in the army and a month after our honeymoon, he went to Basic Training, then Officer Canditate School, then Officer basic course, all right after the other and it took 2 weeks shy of a year to complete all that training, then we got stationes in april and he's been gone training 2x for 14 days then 1x for 40 dayd and is now deployed. So our time was limited and precious and we hated wasting it arguing. So we learned to find ways to make our relationship work. I hope I could help you. GOOD LUCK!!
2006-10-05 15:53:47 · answer #5 · answered by afafae25 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would suggest a book called "10 Stupid Things Couples Do To Mess Up Their Relationships". There's also one called the "Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" but the first one has a whole chapter dedicated to the pettiness that can consume in a marriage. It helped me to be a better girlfriend and I'm tempted to go ahead and read it again so that's my best suggestion. It's written by Dr. Laura.
2006-10-05 15:27:05 · answer #6 · answered by Dr. Kat 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honey, he is being selfish. Compromise is the key to a happy marriage. That, and being partially deaf. What do you argue about? Is it really worth arguing about? When you are both calm, sit down & talk about the more explosive issues. Agree ahead of time that you both love each other and want to work out the problem. Good luck, dear.
2006-10-05 15:27:20 · answer #7 · answered by daj11551 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Make a list of all the things you are grateful for in your relationship, focus on the positive and the love you have for him. Pray for patience and acceptance. Give a little to get a little. Try to understand his view point before making any assumptions. Try not to place expectations on him, they usually lead to resentments. Communicate your feelings to him. Tell him this is bothering you and you want it to stop. Communication is the most important aspect to a healthy relationship. Good Luck!
2006-10-05 15:29:33 · answer #8 · answered by jennaa1212 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore his incessant need to bicker with you. Walk away, tell him it's not worth arguing about and that you value your relationship more than to bicker about silly things. If that doesn't work after a while...seeing a counselor isn't a bad thing if it will help you and your marriage.
2006-10-05 15:44:36 · answer #9 · answered by DreamingofU 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to be very patient. He loved you enough to marry you despite your flaws. I'm sure you aregued alot before you even got married. Ingonore the little things that bother youa nd try to correct them yourself but- every time you do- punish him for it. No sex!! and he'll know why he's not getting it. then- he will beg to get it from you and you can set YOUR standards to be listened to
2006-10-05 15:26:25 · answer #10 · answered by mari 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋