Making plans without ur gf's consents?

Question

I have been in a relationship for about a year and its getting serious but everytime my boyfriends make plans that will effect mine and his, but he dose the whole dicision...without even asking me what i think and how i fell about it....is it just me being selfish or do i have a point??

Answer 1

Nope, you have a point. You need to talk to him about it so he will know what upsets you. If you dont tell him, how can he make sure that you are happy?

Answer 2

Men are hard when it comes to things like this. My husband is the type that likes everything his way if he cant have it he gets upset. Men need to understand that when we want to talk ab things its time to talk. Dont let him say i dont wanna talk ab things it will only make u more upset. U need to let him know how u feel no matter how hard he doesnt wanna hear it. Dont let him do that to u! when he wants to make plans and think ur ok with it hes the one being selfish dont ever think ur doing something wrong! And if just talking to him doesnt help use reverse physiology do it to him back and see how he feels ab it make it obvious too so he can get how it makes u. My husband and i have been together for over 2yrs nothing is ever perfect but u gotta cut his habits out before he takes too much control then ur screwed. hope everything works out and be patient!!!

Answer 3

first of all, please learn how to write so that your question is not confusing. This is all we have to go on, and if you can't type it out, we have no idea what you are even asking.

Second, if you have plans to be married then it is fine to have mutual interests (apartment/car etc). However if you are just BF and GF, that stuff should be separate.

Third, it depends on the decision. If he has moved you by signing for an apartment after your lease is up then you have something to go on. But it really depends on the decision. Did you have stocks and he cashed them out and bought a sports car, or did he switch to a different car insurance company?

You just need to be more specific.

Answer 4

You have a point, but it might be a good idea to consider the plans he's making before getting too upset. Like, is he planning romantic nights out or things to do to show you a good time? Chances are that he's doing it innocently, but if it really bothers you, talk to him about it. If he loves you and gives you the credit you deserve in the relationship, he'll be willing to be more careful about his plan-making.

Answer 5

You deffinately have a point. He should at least ask your opinion before he makes the plans, that's part of what a relationship is all about, communication. Sounds like he wants to call all the shots...that's called having a control issue and that can be considered abuse in a relationship.

Answer 6

It's a relationship......not a dictatorship! It has nothing to do with you being selfish, in fact it's more about him being selfish and acting as if you're at his beck and call. You need to nip this in the bud quickly, otherwise he's going to seriously annoy you one of these days and things will get bad..........unless you're a submissive type. You need to make it clear that you're both equal in this thing and that you can't always be available. If you want to be sly, start making plans yourself and see how he likes it. If he complains then ask him why it's ok for him to do it to you!

Answer 7

What's his track record? If his decisions are good...and you apparently get word on it....then what's the problem? You'll have lots of things to take care of when you get married and having a responsible man is a bonus. If he's making decisions that are injurious to your relationship then he's not that responsible.
If it's small things like making weekend plans...still, he's a doer! Maybe you dont make any plans so he does them. Think about that first and let us know. ;) k?

Answer 8

um, if you both are adults, don't you think trust should play a role and when is it ok to have to ask your bf/gf for permission to hang out with someone besides you? if is not ok to have to answer to someone else. If he is making plans that override what the two of you have already discussed, than there is a problem with that., when he makes a commitment then he needs to follow through and make plans with the fellows on another day.

Answer 9

Just because he makes plans without consulting you does not mean you have to go along with the plans. If you already had something planned for yourself and he made different plans without talking to you, go ahead with your plans. If you are planning something that includes him and are assuming he is free to accompany you, you are doing the same thing he is. Sounds like the two of you need to sit down and talk. Set up some ground rules, reserve days for the two of you, and days for time with your friends and family without each other.

Answer 10

You have a good point. It sounds like he's the one being selfish, if he just expects you to change your plans according to his.

If you have plans, you should stick to them. Otherwise, people you make plans with will start getting sick of making plans with you because they know you're going to flake on them anyway. Also, sticking to plans shows that you're responsible.

If your boyfriend wants you to change your plans and you don't want to, just tell him no. Let him know that he needs to make plans with you in advance, because you often have other things to do. You get to decide what you're going to do with your life, even if it's just a small detail. Stand up for yourself and stick to your word.

Answer 11

Tell him how he is acting and how much he is hurting you. You have a valid point. Once you have discussed the situation with him wait for the results. If things don't change, tell him you think that he has no regards for your feelings at all, and unless you see a change you can't hang around to be treated any less wonderfully than you deserve. Then drop him.