She's struggling (failing) in math and history. She is a full-time student. She is attending all her classes, doing all the assignments, and says she studies. She is very stubborn and insists she's too dumb to learn. She works part-time, lives at home, and we are paying all of her major expenses - tuition, books, car, and insurance. How do I get her to be motivated and realize college is the way to go?
2006-10-05 07:28:12 · 13 answers · asked by Bowllynn 7 in Education & Reference ➔ Higher Education (University +)
Something else is going on in her life, she made it to college, she does have the smarts. The transition from hs to college is tough on kids and the freshman year can be the toughest. If she's working part-time that says alot about her initiative, you've got a good kid there. Inquire yourself about tutors to help her through the roughspots with math and history, just tell her you're going to do this. Make it clear you want to help in anyway you can but it will be up to her to do the work. If she opens up and talks to you, listen, sometimes it just takes listening. Good luck
2006-10-05 07:44:08 · answer #1 · answered by Boots4ACowgirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When I was young I didn't know what I wanted to do. Exploration and having some spending money was enough. Maybe she's not quite "ready" to commit to full-time status! How about she works part-time and only takes one class then try to take two the next semester then go full-time.
One issue is that maybe she doesn't know her ultimate goal yet. Many don't! So she feels uneasy about proceeding forward since she has no concrete idea of her passion. Maybe she doesn't have a passion at all.
She's young give it TIME. Let her find her own path. Jobs today are very technical and need specific skills. If she trains in one area and doesn't like it, that means at least a 2 yr. program alll over again.
She's also a female, hormonal and has "needs" at this time of life. Cut her some slack she's not a kid anymore. Let her make some decisions while you carefully - very carefully - encourage her to keep trudging along. Things will fall into place.
I'm an older adult student going back to school - it's not easy! I have tons of interests but not any one passion, so I selected a career path where I will find work til I retire - that's the way it goes for some of us. Just be there for her and don't get pushy. All of our kids don't make the best decisions at the best times and life sure isn't perfect. Just relax and be there for her, that's what she needs now.
2006-10-05 08:39:21 · answer #2 · answered by Lake Lover 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A full time college student who has to commute and work part time?? My opinion -- she should have taken a lighter load! I would not have wanted to deal with that. Commuting 1/2 hour each way and often having trouble finding a parking space and having a long walk to reach my class were quite enough without a part time job. I know some girl who was pushed like that and she got into a severe automobile accident and badly injured her first year.
If I knew more maybe I could say more. My guess about too dumb to learn is that her verbal ability is weak. This was extremely hard on me in college. Maybe it's something else with her though. Identifying and solving difficulties is tough and I've got only a little of your text to go on, but the big thing here seems to be she is overworked and it's taking a toll.
By the way, I am not saying anything is wrong with being at home. Being on campus can be horrible, especially with a bad roommate. But the commute can wear on someone.
2006-10-05 07:42:18 · answer #3 · answered by Robert B 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
human beings bypass via diverse issues in the time of that consider their life. my gpa my first 2 years became a 2.80 2, then i only began no longer to care and it dropped to a a million.18, yet after making 8 A's and 7 B's when you consider that very last fall, its now as a lot as a three.0 and next semester after I graduate it's going to be a minimum of a three.25 *** laude, so certain human beings choose time
2016-11-26 19:14:08 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whose life is this?
You are definitely wasting your money if you expect your daughter to do what YOU would do if you were in her place.
If she doesn't want to be there, and doesnt have the self confidence to deal with college right now, what makes you think that going to school and failing will improve her thinking!!!
She needs a timeout. Why don't you let her withdraw, take a year or two off (lots of kids take Gap years!) She can work, or travel, or do a volunteer public service job. (but don't let her just sit around in your house as a parasite. if she works she should be paying rent and helping out with household bills!)
When she is ready to go to school, that is, when SHE decided it is right for her, then she will go and do well.
Maybe you could arrange to invest the same amount of money that you would have paid for her to go to school, and then if she wants to go later, there will be money put aside.
Forcing her to go to school when she isnt ready is a lose-lose situation.
2006-10-05 07:33:41 · answer #5 · answered by matt 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not enough information given. That she is failing in history, though, is suggestive.You could send your finger nail clippings to history class, even college level history, and pass easily. For some college is not the way to go, or even possible. I do not know enough here, but your daughter is the only one who can motivate herself.
2006-10-05 08:30:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cant motivate her, she has to do that herself. Tell her that she needs to find a study group or tutor, or the money stops. She doesn't need an A, but she does need to everything she can to pass.
2006-10-05 07:38:35 · answer #7 · answered by t79a 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe she needs to get adjusted to being in college, it is very different from highschool. Just give her time to get adjusted and maybe she will do better. however if she really don't want to be in school don't force her because it will be a rest of money.
2006-10-05 07:49:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to find a concrete way of demonstrating to her what her life will most likely consist of without that degree. You also need to have her understand that you aren't going to continue paying for everything forever. Tell her if she drops out then she's out from under your wing and can support herself. If that's too cold for you - well, you may just need to be prepared to keep her in your basement forever.
2006-10-05 07:32:10 · answer #9 · answered by N.FromVT 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
stop pushing her collage isnt 4 everybody h ell school isint 4 everybody if she wants to pass she will and just belive in her if she is doing the work and going to class be proud of her and she is workin 2 hard shes in collage let her act like it
2006-10-05 07:35:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋