My boyfriend and I have been dating for a while now and I'm seeing somethings about him that are alarming to me. He is a worrier. He worries about everything and very fearful on top of that. Before he make decision - he worry over it for days and then fear paralyses him from moving forward in anything. My first thought leave this loser....but I can't. He's a good man with a lovely and caring heart. But it's annoying at the way he worries about everything.....
what should I do?
2006-10-05 07:09:16 · 16 answers · asked by SisPrecious1 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Talk to him about it, encourage him to change. Give him a chance. If he keeps it up and it really bothers you, cut him loose.
2006-10-05 07:11:23 · answer #1 · answered by supercat 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honestly it depends on if you can see a future with this man or not.
If you can then you should work to help him see that he doesn't have to worry quite so much as he does. If he is a worrier then chances are that somthing happened to him in life that has made him that way.
I would be patient with him, and try and help him see (with small steps) that he doesn't have to worry about everything in order for things to turn out ok, point out to him that it is a waste of his emotional energy.
And btw, because he worries, even excessivly does not make him a loser, be patient with him, and maybe even urge him to get counseling for his problem. Because it can most likely be treated.
Good luck and I hope this helps.
2006-10-05 07:13:40 · answer #2 · answered by Teclis98 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him why he frets over things so much... Ask him if you can help him with a decision. If he sees you make a sound decision, that may help him the next time. Tell him some decisions that affect his life should take awhile to ponder. But other things you just go with & hope for the best. It's not always going to turn out the way you want it to anyway. That's life. But if this troubles you so much now, it won't get any better if you marry this guy. Marriage only magnifies about 5 times the things that are only petty to you now... just an FYI....
2006-10-05 07:13:37 · answer #3 · answered by daj11551 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm the #1 worrier in the world (it seems like most days) so I know how he feels, but he needs your support and reassurance. Is it about your relationship that he worries or is it everything? Talk to him about it and make him see different views on things. My man does that and it helps me understand the problem and it calms me down. Just knowing that someone is by your side through your troubles makes a big difference in your life. I have a big heart too, but my downfall is worrying about stupid stuff way too much. He needs to do what I'm trying now.....Let stuff happen. Life will work itself out.
2006-10-05 07:14:18 · answer #4 · answered by inlovewow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take him somewhere that the two of you can relax and enjoy life...like a spa or drive to the beach that is closest to where you live...pack a picnic to eat at a park or make him a romantic dinner.....
anything to try to get him to relax and not worry so much....
I have a good friend like your boyfriend and if he weren't married and too old for me, I'd really be into him. Does your boyfriend love you and treat you right? Does he respect other people? That's all that really matters! Some anti-anxiety medications might help him out too.
2006-10-05 07:12:55 · answer #5 · answered by Lorraine_us 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's totally up to you what to do next. No one is perfect, and everyone will have flaws to one degree or another. The mixture of traits that any one person can accept and tolerate in a mate is very individual - and is best analyzed on a case-by-case basis. Ask yourself if the mixture of traits that you see in your boyfriend seems like something you could live with long-term. Just because he has a particular negative trait does not automatically invalidate him as a potential mate - more crucial factor is YOUR perception of this trait. Trying to get him to change his personality is a fruitless exercise; if his worrying isn't something you're prepared to accept and tolerate long-term, it's best to be honest with him and with yourself, and start looking for someone with a more acceptable personality.
2006-10-05 07:41:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn that you have to accept the good with the bad. People are going to tell you to change him, don't even waste your time thinking about that, you cannot change people. Try to be supportive of his fears, and then step back. This is his dilema.
2006-10-05 07:22:05 · answer #7 · answered by kandekizzez 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you've been dating long enough where you start to see some of his blemishes....this is normal. He's beginning to discover yours too, by the way.
So, the next question is, can you live with it? We all have faults, are his so severe that you're willing to terminate the relationship?
2006-10-05 07:12:45 · answer #8 · answered by Sheik Yerbouti 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, if you love him, you shouldn't be callin him stupid names "loser"...what the heck? And leave him alone, everyone worries...Just learn to live with it. If you really love him, you'll see past his imperfections, otherwise you'll "leave the loser"
2006-10-05 07:12:30 · answer #9 · answered by AmandaLayne 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a decision to make, people dont change much after marriage. You either take him and love him for who he is, or get away from him. DONT EXPECT HIM TO CHANGE FOR YOU!!! Cause it most likely wont happen!!!!
2006-10-05 07:14:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋