You have advice all over the board. Here's my two cents from someone who has been married 29 years.
For the children's sake, seek out counseling and if it works, tell mr amazing no. An affair more often than not will lead to heartache, mostly YOURS! And I'm telling you, it's not worth it.
If you and Mr. Amazing fall in love, it should happen when you are free and clear to pursue a relationship. Love should be amazing and it can last if it's meant to be. If he's serious, he'll give you space to work things out. You didn't mention if he was also married.
I'm getting over my own mr amazing and my marriage survived. But I was the one hurt the most. I grieve and it's been over almost a year now. He stayed with his wife and I'm on the outside looking in. But only barely. The wall around him is getting taller and thicker.
You've got to give your marriage a chance first. That's it. It's the best for everyone, most of all those two children. Honey, make your husband "mr. amazing" again. Something brought you together. Work for that. Get that back again. Tell your sweetie goodbye for a while, okay?
Mars
2006-10-05 07:29:46
·
answer #1
·
answered by Mars 2
·
0⤊
0⤋
what do the young kids have to do with being unhappily married?
would having an amazing affair with an amazing person make you happy to be married?
Check yourself first before looking for change outside of you.
2006-10-05 07:08:51
·
answer #2
·
answered by Cynamin 1
·
0⤊
0⤋
People are only amazing at first. If you want to have an affair then you will have an affair. Being unhappily married should have no bearing on your decision. If you are so infatuated with somebody other than your mate then go for it. But there are always consequences.
2006-10-05 07:05:08
·
answer #3
·
answered by Clyde R 2
·
0⤊
0⤋
No.
I'd second guess my ability to judge what makes a person amazing or not out of fear that the sole thing about them that I find "amazing" is the fact that they aren't the person I'm married to.
If I was so astray to be in an unhappy relationship to begin with, I'd work on ways to solve my problems instead of looking for quick fixes that will ultimately bite me in the butt later down the line.
Amazing people are just as subject to STD's as anyone else.
Imagine a month later, you have a little sore on the side of your mouth, cover it with makeup, no big deal... next thing you know you're children have them from kisses goodnight, your husband has them from when you had a moment with him.
Oh, and there are always genital warts. Those are fun I hear. Statistically, like 1 in 3 people have them. Nature's french tickler. Oh, condoms don't work for preventing them, by the way.
Anyway...
I'm not the kind of person that's so shallow to think that another person is the solution to my problems. My problems are mine, anything other that addressing them directly is going to complicate them and add fuel to the fire.
Also, would you really want to get involved with someone that's ok with going behind the back of someone that you vowed to honor?
I'm not a big fan of subversive people who are so self-absorbed that their physical fulfillment is such a high priority in their lives that they'd be willing to hurt others to experience it.
Sex is risky, and you are either going to choose a person that is apparently untrustworthy, or you are going to misrepresent yourself dishonestly, and expect him to be 100% honest.
Stupid move my dear. Instant gratification is tempting as hell, but don't lie to yourself and make it out to be anything other than a really stupid move you can chalk up to desperation later on down the line.
If you can live with your kids having cold sores because you kissed them goodnight after having an affair with some skeeze and didn't know you contracted a form of herpes, that says a lot about you. You can always lie to them and feign ignorance if it ever comes up though.
Stupidity is a chain reaction. Everything is connected, there are no isolated incidents. If you want to take it upon yourself to introduce a whole load of possible negative factors into the lives of people you are supposed to care about, you go right ahead.
I'm not even going to touch down on the whole Christian ethics thing as I'm sure plenty of people who haven't even read the Bible are going to start slinging at you.
If you are unhappily married, get happily married. If that doesn't work, get happily single.
2006-10-05 07:49:39
·
answer #4
·
answered by Erad 3
·
0⤊
0⤋
Yes, I was unhappily married for years with one child. I met an amazing man and chose to have an affair with him. Unexpectedly we fell madly in love. I am now divorced and living happily with my soul mate. It was the hardest and best thing I ever did. Life is too short to live miserably. Your children deserve a happy, healthy mommy.
2006-10-05 07:47:19
·
answer #5
·
answered by jade 1
·
0⤊
0⤋
I might but that doesn't mean I should. Its very tempting but most likely an affair will only make your marriage worse. First you ought to focus on your marriage. Either make it work or get out of it. Try having an amazing affair with the person you thought was so amazing you married him.
2006-10-05 07:06:28
·
answer #6
·
answered by dan_in_la 2
·
0⤊
0⤋
There are steps you can take to actually build a strong, stable marriage and avoid divorce. Read here https://tr.im/yhrfu
Here are some key steps to apply to your marriage:
- Start by understanding and being informed.
You can never be too informed about tools, methods and studies about building successful marriages. Understand the risk factors like your age and maturity at marriage can determine how successful it will be, the anatomy of an affair and what you can do after infidelity. Understand the success factors like the personal and psychological circumstances that will influence your marriage, what are the tools and approaches available to you in dealing with conflict, and numerous other relevant data. All this information is readily available to you whether through self-help material, through a counselor, support group or other venues. In fact, we have made it our commitment to provide these to you in different formats to help you make the best marriage you can.
The thing is, remember, this is information is not available for you to begin hyper-psychoanalyzing your relationship, yourself and your partner. It's not a matter of spewing trivia for the sake of conversation ' information is there for you to ponder over and internalize to help you transform yourself and your marriage. That includes maturing to such a point that you become more competent in your knowledge but more prudent in approach.
2016-04-22 16:50:28
·
answer #7
·
answered by ? 3
·
0⤊
0⤋
No, don't even go there. Try sort out marriage first, if things cannot be resolved take time out before embarking on a new relationship. Perhaps some might think this oldfashioned but have seen so many get mixed up and the effects can be devastating. Think of kids and this would affect them.
2006-10-05 10:06:04
·
answer #8
·
answered by Annette A 1
·
0⤊
0⤋
INFIDELITY WILL NOT BRING YOU HAPPINESS OR PEACE OF MIND.
You will have affair which will make you liar and cheater.
Perhaps you will be involved with someone else that you want to be with all the time and form a new life with that person, but why not to do it open fashion without lies. But most likely you will be unsure that the other person is totally committed to building a life with you, so you will want to keep your present marriage as a back up. I think it is just cruel.
2006-10-05 07:19:54
·
answer #9
·
answered by Anonymous
·
0⤊
0⤋
I would leave my husband if I was that unhappy cos sooner or later the kids will pick up on the tension. I would then possibly give myself time before starting a new relationship. I know it sound boring but when there are children involved you kind of have to put them first. Imagine how unhappty they would be if your husband found out about the affair & itcaused all sorts of arguements. its not worth it.
2006-10-05 07:06:06
·
answer #10
·
answered by vic 4
·
0⤊
0⤋