This guy at work has scars on his wrists. He seems the depressive type, really miserable and won't talk to anyone. You can't get a conversation out of him, it's almost laughable, he just looks scared all of the time. He is always diverting his hands if he notices anyone looking at his wrists. Everyone at work is always talking about him, curious about why he cut himself.
2006-10-05 06:54:07 · 32 answers · asked by faithless 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Unless you are his manager and you are upset about his work, why should it matter how he got them or what they are from? Maybe he was abused as a child, or was in an accident and doesn't want to talk about it. You should respect that and leave him to it. If he wants to tell you he will.
2006-10-05 06:56:22 · answer #1 · answered by Jez 5 · 9⤊ 0⤋
Why do you need to know.
Maybe at his old place of work there was a mad old gossip who went mad and slashed everyones wrists! You know how bullys are supposed to have been bullied in the past - I would watch out if I were you!!
Seriously, leave him alone. The nicer you are to people the happier the world will be.
2006-10-05 07:21:04 · answer #2 · answered by Janice E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel that if this person wanted to speak about them he would.
It would be difficult to approach the subject without him putting up a barrier.
Treat him like a normal person and he may tell someone, please do not stare or make comments behind his back as you could cause a lot of damage.
I have some bad scars on my face that i felt deeply about (an accident at 10 year old) and because i did not want to speak about them i was treated differently, believe me it is not a nice feeling to be seen as different.
Be friendly and supportive as he may need a friend.
2006-10-05 07:03:42 · answer #3 · answered by Bladerunner (Dave) 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe he is self conscious because you seem more interested in his scars than his personality. Just make an effort to include him but don't crowd him and he may eventually come out of his shell. As for the scars he may not want to discuss them so I wouldn't ask him. It may just be something really boring like a carpal tunnel op, but if he did try to take his own life then that is not something you want to be talking about at work, would you?
2006-10-05 07:00:56 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Honestly, it's not your business. But as a survivor of suicide myself, I once told a woman who had slash-scars on her wrists about how I noticed she had scars and how good Dermablend works on scars of all types. We got to talking at that point, and the Dermablend makeup and stacks of bracelets did help. (In his case, he can use a heavy leather watch as well as Dermablend.)
He's probably in a very touchy and delicate place right now. Suicide survivors, recent ones, often are. Imagine having just had someone try to kill you. Imagine that you can't get away from them. That's his situation.
He's probably also touchy because he knows he's the subject of gossip, so stop it!
2006-10-05 06:58:26 · answer #5 · answered by GreenEyedLilo 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Just be open and friendly but don't ask about the wrists. If he feels safe he may want to talk eventually, but if you're all talking about him behind his back then it's bound to make him feel threatened and withdraw. Put yourself in his shoes for a moment. If you'd had a really difficult time and it had left your scarred would you want it to be the subject of office gossip?
2006-10-05 06:57:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure the fact that his coworkers staring and whispering at him isn't helping matters.
Everyone should just back off until he feels comfortable enough (if ever) to talk about it. Maybe he doesn't want to, and that's fine too. The scars on his wrists don't affect his work ability (I assume) so why is it necessary to question him about them?
2006-10-05 06:58:41 · answer #7 · answered by brevejunkie 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he would respond to a friendly approach, like being asked down the pub. Accept him as he is, and treat him like one of he blokes. If he is aware of being talked about, it's not going to help him at all.
It sounds like he has some nerve issues, and needs to be approached in a non-judgemental and non nosey way, and on his own terms. You never know what emotional baggage a person is carrying round.
2006-10-05 07:09:41 · answer #8 · answered by ALAN Q 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the way to interact with him is not to pry into his personal life. A simple hello or good morning is always a way to get people to know that you are a friend. Invite him to lunch. Ask him how his weekend went. Don't ask him about a possible painful past...its almost as if your curiosity is linked to some deep seeded obsession of wanting to judge people for their mistakes. Be a friend not talk show host.
2006-10-05 07:13:45 · answer #9 · answered by WarWolf 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Do not ask about them. It really is noone's business except his. If he seems to be depressed, try to befriend him. Invite him for coffee or to join you for lunch. It may take awhile. If he turns you down the first time, ask him several more times. Smile & say good morning to him, calling him by name so he knows you're speaking to him. Find things you can compliment him on. His hair? clothes? cologne? the way he does his job? Once you get to be friends, perhaps he'll tell you then. Let him have his privacy.
2006-10-05 07:02:08 · answer #10 · answered by mazell41 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you actually ask him, he will probably quit his job from embarrassment. Leave him alone and respect his privacy, or if you must talk to him, just be normal and talk about normal stuff. Let him open up to you without you forcing the issue. That's only if you really want to get to know him. If this is just gratuitous titillation, then leave the poor guy alone.
2006-10-05 06:57:53 · answer #11 · answered by Cosmic I 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋