My birthday just past yesterday & I didn't get 1 thing from my husband. Not a gift, not a dinner out, not even a card. He worked late. We moved to this area 7 months ago & I have NO friends or family here, the closest are over 7 hrs away. So I sat in my livingroom eating leftovers & watching TV last night with my dogs for my bday.
His bday celebration was a 2 wk affair. On his actual bDAY I took him for to dinner to his fav resturant, that weekend I took him to a prof baseball game (even called ahead & got his name put on the jumbo-tron), gave him gifts gallore (tools, clothes, stuff for car, etc), got his favorite cake made. The 2nd wkend following his bday I took him for a long wkend away to the beach, stayed at a resort, also bought him gifts there.
In his defense he is working LOTS, but then again he has an hour lunch everyday & my birthday comes at the same time every year.
I am depressed & hurt. I feel like again, I went all out for him, nothing for me.
Am I Overreacting?
2006-10-05 06:52:25 · 37 answers · asked by Anne Marie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are not going to get serious and mature answers here.
You want to know what is up? Talk to him.
Tell him something like, you know it hurts me that you don't celebrate my bday is there something wrong? Did I do something to upset you?
It is a huge thing for a spouse not to acknowledge an important event and it is usually a sign that the other spouse has done something to upset the spouse who does not reciprocate. This doesn't mean it's your fault and you may not even have any idea and your husband may not know that you had not bad intentions.
Talk to him and see what the matter is. It is very important that you are given due attention for your birthday and respect for that matter.
Does he also do this with anniversaries and other holidays? Did he offer you a belated happy birthday?
I work very hard and commuted long distances for a long period of time and I would almost forget and get something a couple of days before any event. But I never forgot.
I hope the best for you and I am sorry to hear you are hurt...and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!! Even if it is belated.
I'm sending a telepathic hug, cake, and expensive gift.
2006-10-05 11:21:34 · answer #1 · answered by Martin M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
HELL NO U R NOT, but u got what u asked 4. women want 2 b showered, pampered and treated like a goddess which is fine if u follow these giudelines. (if u deserve it all ok but look at it this way) no matter how much u like a guy and/or want 2 do something 4 him give him the bare minimum and gradually work your way up. im a man and i know all about your emotions so he does 2, just keep that in mind. if hes really into his job than he should b giving signs that he is otherwise he a non-romantic or the other.
2006-10-05 07:08:11 · answer #2 · answered by dipper9stikk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have heard this from my current G.F. of four years, about her ex-husband of 11 years.
She left him, he in turn left this world, her and their two boys behind.
Sounds like you really do a lot for him and he seems like he does barley, if anything in return.
Should you repay the favor with the same?
No this will just make it more horrible on the both of you.
Does he have the same feelings for you?
You should tell him how you felt.
Maybe he has some suprise cruise to JAMAICA for you as a HUGE suprise.
Or maybe he was just working too hard and has a lot on his mind.
I wish you the best with this.
By the way...
Happy b-lated birthday!
I hope he has a suprise in store for you, or else I would really talk to him and see what he wants from the relationship.
DJ
2006-10-05 07:06:23 · answer #3 · answered by djyo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you aren't overracting by posting on a message board that you are upset.
Take a look at that.
Your post doesn't even have a reaction, yet your worried that you are reacting too much.
You haven't done anything other than take the time to say, "You know what... that hurts."
That's not a reaction, and damnit... you are entitled to that.
You should confront him about it and actually REACT before you ask whether or not you overreacted.
I think being mousy and timid is more unforgivable than overreacting when you are in pain. It's way more damaging over time.
Most of the nastiness in my past relationships came from lots of little things under the surface gaining so much heft that you can't get over it.
Don't harbor your feelings, don't try to spare his. He's being a jerk. Jerks don't deserve to have their feelings spared. Crucify him.
2006-10-05 07:19:57 · answer #4 · answered by Erad 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
So sorry that he forgot your birthday. I'm such a birthday freak that my husband would be sleeping in his car for a week if he forgot. Maybe he's going to surprise you somehow. I'd give him till the weekend.
If nothing after that than I'd mention it to him. If he totally forgot & wants to make it up to you, make sure you pick out the most expensive gift that you can think of..... Also if you fill out your profile, maybe you can make some friends in here that live in your State. I met my best friend in a chat room. Good Luck and NO your not overreacting !!!!!!!!!
2006-10-05 07:04:21 · answer #5 · answered by Littles 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you. I always make sure to do something special for my husband on his birthday too. This year, like many years before, he didn't even say happy birthday. My sister and her kids called and sang to me and all he said was..."oh, is today your birthday? I forgot" then hopped on his computer and chatting with his friends all night---one of them (a girl no less) until 4 in the morning! Of course he couldn't understand why I was upset! Almost left him over that one. Not because I wanted to be taken out or showed with gifts. All I wanted was atleast for him to acknowledge it was my birthday and spend time with me! Talk to your husband and let him know how you feel. Once I finally got him to realize what he was doing to me (not just on my birthday, but every day), he actually spends time with me now and not his online girl friends! I think some men a just born insensitive! But that doesn't mean they can't change! - Happy belated Birthday to you!
2006-10-05 07:39:22 · answer #6 · answered by katydid 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait until the weekend...maybe he is planning something and doing the "I forgot" thing as an element of surprise. If nothing happens over the weekend, then bring it up to him and tell him how you feel. He could have genuinely forgot. Give him some time and see what happens.
Happy Belated Birthday and Good luck.
2006-10-05 06:56:38 · answer #7 · answered by makeitclap23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't blame you for being upset. No matter how busy your husband is, it only takes a few minutes to pick out a card or even stop on the way home and get flowers.......most men don't stop and think of things like that. My boyfriend is a prime example......for your husbands next birthday treat him to the same presents you got this year.
2006-10-05 06:58:21 · answer #8 · answered by Linda S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No!, I would have felt just as bad. I would express my feelings to him in a peaceful way, once I was over the anger. If he does'nt show remorse know him for what is is to you insensitive. I think once he knows how he's made you feel, he'll make up for it later on. Be patient. O h by the way, Happy belated Birthday may your next birthday be a wonderful day for you.
2006-10-05 07:02:26 · answer #9 · answered by Joyous Dawn in the morning 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No i would be upset to. He could as least said HAPPY B-DAY!!! It only takes a min to call for flowers and have them delivered. What a surprise that would of been. I'm sorry you got passed over. Sit down and talk to him about how your feeling. Try not to say all you did for him believe me he knows. Just let him know you were disappointed in your day and ask if he just forgot it. You never know, he may have something planned for the weekend when hes not working. You wouldn't wanna ruin it. For what its worth HAPPY B-DAY!!!!
2006-10-05 07:02:23 · answer #10 · answered by Kim 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋