I dont think my husband has a romantic bone or blood vessel for that matter in his body. I am not asking for him to gush over me, nor do I expect it to be all of the time. We have been friends since 3rd grade, dated and now married, from day 1 there was no romance. Anyone have any advice on how I can help him be romantic, or am I just wishing for something that will never happen?
2006-10-05 05:43:17 · 27 answers · asked by nanners040477 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think you need to get him started on the way to being romantic by showing him how it's done. Plan a surprise weekend away with him. You need to try and think like a man. While away "spend alot of time up in your room" Do things to him you have never done before. Crazy things that he won't expect from you. At the end of the weekend tell him you would like to have him be romantic every once in awhile, such as taking you out to a surprise dinner, flowers ect. and then tell him if he does those things he can expect more of what you just did to him in the future.
2006-10-05 05:53:32 · answer #1 · answered by great dane fanatic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When it comes to romance and men it's really tough to get the 2 to mesh.
I would suggest showing him romantic ideas. Like candle lit dinners for 2. Sensual massages, flowers, taking a weekened away just the 2 of you. You can't just demand romance you have to invest time too, then slowly your husband will get the hint. It's not a matter of there has never been romance b/c if that's true what made you fall for him?
But teach him subtly just not bluntly and he will come around b/c he will think wow I really like when we do this, and he will be more apt to do for you.
Good Luck - remember all relationships need 2 to work on them, but in a good realationship sometimes one has to help the other to make a good balance.
2006-10-05 05:50:29 · answer #2 · answered by Farmgirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm. This is something the two of you should have discussed BEFORE you got married, the same as finances and religion and politics. If he only likes 10% of you, why did he marry you? If you knew he wouldn't be intimate, and that he is selfish (not interested in what you want, only what HE wants) why did you marry him? Okay, you need to come to a compromise here now. He is a married man with a wife. He has a RESPONSIBILITY to give up some of his hobbies to spend time making you happy. And you have a responsiblity to give him the space he needs for his hobbies to make him happy. Talk to him and tell him that in order for you both to be happier, you have to work this out. One night a week out together is a must. If he won't compromise, your marriage is in trouble.
2016-03-16 21:07:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, I will have to agree with the last part of your statement, before putting the rest of us in total dismay! You married him for who he is and whom you've known since the 3rd grade! You knew him then and you got what you paid for...in your marriage to him, again....unfortunately! I'm sure you've done the most obvious and talked to him, 'heart to heart', but have you considered professional counseling? Sexual therapy or even marriage counseling? He sounds like the perfect candidate, along with yourself, to approach and seriously consider professional therapy or counseling. Nothing wrong with that; happens everyday! Question is, why haven't you signed up yet, or at least, made a phone call and appointment? If he loves you enough he will accept your offer and work towards saving your marriage! If I were him, I'd have a change of attitude and really take a good look at the whole picture....involving both of YOU! Good Luck !
2006-10-05 05:58:00 · answer #4 · answered by HotInTX 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know this man had no romantic bone in his body probably since high school but yet you still married him. If romance was something that was needed in your relationship then marry him wasnt a bright idea. You had the opportunity to nip this in the bud while the two of you were dating and nothing happend.
I dont think theres much you can do about it but live with it. He's just not a romantic person...
I wonder how he proposed to you?
2006-10-05 05:47:21 · answer #5 · answered by Melia 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Instead of waiting, or wanting your husband to romance you... reverse the role. YOU ROMANCE HIM. Place your hand in his when you are walking into a restaurant. In public or in private, whisper into his ear. Give him the look of seduction. Almost kiss him...not quite....just almost put your lips to his and pull away. Smile very flirty at him then walk away. Leave him notes...in the bathroom...in his underwear drawer. Leave sexy messages on his cell phone. Call and talk dirty to him when he is driving home from work. Make reservations and spend the night in a hotel. Guys need to be guided sweetie. He may think he's doing a great job! Talk to your man......tell him what you need.
2006-10-05 06:00:57 · answer #6 · answered by emotional blonde 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you built the friendship. and you married your best friend. that is FABULOUS! try asking him what puts him in a romantic mood. and be on the lookout for the times he DOES things that he percieves to be romantic because men can be romantic and women just dont' pick up on it. a man's idea of romance may be doing some manual labor and a woman's is clearly jewlery and flowers. (some women are the exception to this) my standard advice is communication. try talking to him and spending time with him. topics can be nonsensical. the trick is to lighten up. you amy have married soemone who didnt' feel a spark. that's a bad situation but the best thing I can tell you is that you shouldnt' divorce him. just live with the situation. you DID choose him and it sounds like an otherwise solid marriage. I CAN suggest some marriage counseling. You need to remember you married this man for life.
2006-10-05 05:53:01 · answer #7 · answered by leeanndemon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Another woman who has over whelming evidence that their husband isn't something they want in a man,but marrys him anyway.Then she wonders hey he's never been romantic how come he just doesn't treat me that way and how can I get him to.Clue in lady he doesn't even know how and if he was shown he would probably think it will take away from his manhood(and I'm not even gonna expect you to understand this reasoning)I don't basically cause I LIKE to get LAID.However I am a man and I know dudes like that.Get over it or get a new man!
2006-10-05 05:53:01 · answer #8 · answered by sjwest74 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree that romance is very important. Have you tried being romantic with him? If so, how did it go? I guess the best thing to do would be to tell him that romance in a marriage is extremely important and what is he going to do about it. Then, depending upon his answer, you will need to decide what to do.
2006-10-05 05:46:47 · answer #9 · answered by phoenixheat 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Probably talking to him ... over and over.. ( lol ) . It sounds pretty much like he is soo comfortable with you that he has.. forgotten . Well you can always run the romatic train... Call all the shots.. But I would try example ... then while your on a date you set up explain to him how much you love him and how ,, you just need him to have a connection to you. is it the romance or the connection or both you need ... figure it out ,, then go from there.
2006-10-05 05:48:54 · answer #10 · answered by zachs mom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋