I have been with this married man for three years now.... and eveything was fine, till lately there is the guy who is also single and wanted to much to be with me. I am confuess, i have been telling myself i will not get married again cos i just ended a married 4 years ago. But for the first time after so long i am actually have a good time chatting with him over phone, having some great time over drinks and pools. I felt i have cheating on the man that i have been with for three years, even he is married, he have there for me and care and love me just like his wife. Please can someone please help me ... I know i was wrong to be with a married man.
2006-10-05 05:38:57 · 19 answers · asked by blurblur 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Hi,
As someone who has ever had a 'married man' for a bf before (not a proud past of mine I must say), I will say go for wat you want..
No matter how good the married man take care of you, he will not leave his wife and you will never get him for life.. if he leaves his wife for you, you also have to be worried that he will do the same thing to you..
if you feel that you are ready to break up with him and pursue another more normal relationship.. just go ahead.. no one will hate you because of that.. and if they do hate you.. remember, it is YOUR LIFE.. if they want to control how you do things.. they should TRY living your life for you..
Whtehr or not you get close to this new man of yours, you should decide if you wnat to end the married man relationship.. they do not really love you or cannot really love you that much if they are still with their wives.. and tat is a fact...
Jia you!
2006-10-05 16:09:33 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you feel the need to be faithful to someone who is not faithful to you? The man obviously has no integrity if he's been with you for three years while married to another woman. You would be much better off with a more principaled man who cares about you enough to be only with you or who respects women enough to be with only one woman. After being with someone for so long, it's tough to say good bye, but that's what the married man needs to hear. With the possibility of this new romance, this is the perfect time to let go of the married man and find someone with more respect for women.
2006-10-05 12:45:50 · answer #2 · answered by KDdid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the lowest of the low in life is to be THE OTHER MAN/WOMAN. please do ur self a favor DUMP the married guy and get urself a GOOD SINGLE man cus guess what??? THE married guy is NEVER going to leave his wife for u..
even IF he did and that is a big IF... ask urself....would he do the same to u? Cheat on u for 3 years and mayb more and not ever let u kno.
go with the single guy. u have nothing to lose leaving a married guy. he has his own family including a WIFE
2006-10-05 12:42:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would pursue things with the SINGLE man. It's not cheating because you all are not committed to each other, how can you be when he's committed to someone else. If you have been with the married guy for 3 yrs and he's still with his wife then he'll always be with his wife. You don't deserve to be the other woman forever. He treats you great because he wants you to stick around and except his situation and as long as you except it he'll never have to make a decision. MOVE ON!
2006-10-05 12:50:24 · answer #4 · answered by TiffGoo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are wrong to be with a married man because it is just a dead end relationship. He will never leave his wife for you and what are you getting out of it? Dump the married man--you don't owe him anything and start dating the single guy. If you go out with him, it doesn't necessarily mean that it will lead to marriage. The single guy is safer as he doesn't have any excess baggage, meaning a WIFE!.
2006-10-05 12:43:24 · answer #5 · answered by Miss J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it was in bad taste to be with a married man, but, why should you feel guilty about being with somone else, when he goes home to someone else? Be confident about yourself, know that you made a mistake, and end it with the married guy, he clearly isn't leaving anyone, and move on with your life. Don't think you have to get married again, just be in a normal relationship with someone who wants to spend time with you. Have fun, and don't be stressed out. You make your own rules.
2006-10-05 12:42:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well... I think it's better to look for a single man instead... relationship with married man don't last long... n I dun think u wan to be a 3rd party for them and break up their family too, right? I do had a relation with a married woman before and at the same time, a girl likes me too... So I understand how you feel... But from my 'experience' its better to choose the single instead of married... coz that time i chose the married but end up, regret....
2006-10-05 21:31:19 · answer #7 · answered by porridge0000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think you have must be brave enough to leave the married man first. After that move the rest of the decision actually lies with you. I believe you have developed a phobia after your first marriage failed. But you must overcome this phobia on marriage before you can even start a new relationship with another guy. It is something you need to considered very carefully coz the guy will somehow hoped to get married with you. if you can't get rid of the phobia, it is very diffcult for you to move on with your life.
My piece of advice is that you got to leave the married guy first before doing other things
2006-10-06 11:23:25 · answer #8 · answered by Clown & Joker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, Sweetheart, you aren't cheating on your married love. IN fact, remember that he's sleeping with his wife, whether he says he isn't, or not. IF he's been with you for 3 years, he isn't going to leave his wife. Mostly, remember these things, and this is THE VOICE of experience (8 years worth): While he is playing with you, and living seriously with his wife, your youth is passing away; you're gaining nothing out of it but occasional momentary comfort and alot of emptiness when you're alone. You're basically "hogtied". You can't go forward, can't go back, can't gain anything, are too scared of loosing something that you'll never really have (think about that), and you're basing your future on the whims of a unfaithful MARRIED man's wishes. A man who made life promises to his wife, and isn't keeping them. NEVER base your future on the wishes of others, especially attached others. I believe mine kept telling me I was his "Port in a Storm". which meant that he loved to be able to run to me (and away from reality) when things got bad.
WE the members of The Secret Wives Club; give everything, demand little, in some crazy way feel special (yet guilty) because we've pulled them away from their wife, and they give us just enough attention, words of affection, comfort and maybe the occasional small gift to make us think we're getting something. But we aren't, because we're just his escape from his chosen reality, often the very glue that holds his marriage together during bad times, his Ego stroker, and if he loved you in the true sense of love, he'd be more worried about you're future than his pleasure, and cut you loose to find your own life. IF you want a whole life and a whole love, you have to cut and run, whether it takes changing jobs, towns, whatever. No communication later either. Just remember, this is a man who gets bored easily with normality, and if he leaves his wife for you, I promise he'll also find someone to fill your slot. Whether you realize it or not, HE is his first concern.
Be Smart. Be Brave, BE TRUE to yourself. Get out now.
2006-10-05 13:10:23 · answer #9 · answered by macmenow2000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes my sad one ,I think Jesus sent you someone so that you will leave the marriage alone ,because if you have been with the married man this long and he is still with wife then he will never leave her completely .!!!Please break it off with the married man ,i want to share a story with yah .a younger girl and my hubby that I adored cheated on me and it felt like I had lost my husband to death ,even to this day the pain is there we had been together 8 years married .dont hurt this woman please let him go.its very easy to see he is not gonna leave her and its wrong what he is doing to her ,just think if that was you his wife!! how would you like it .so I know you already know but I believe you have been sent someone for you ,please I ask on her behalf leave the married man alone .wishinng you the best .
2006-10-05 12:53:59 · answer #10 · answered by Holly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋