We have a 4 year old and im 5 months pregnant, but he treats me really bad at times and he cant hold down a job, hes into meth behind my back. I KNOW THAT SEEMS LIKE A NO BRAINER, but im afraid to be alone, i have another son form a previous relationship...im really a great girl i just fall for losers I guess the real question is will there be anyone who'll want me with 3 kids?
2006-10-05 05:13:00 · 37 answers · asked by ♥kailababy♥ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I've always seemed to fall for losers too. It's a sad situation. But I wised up . I'm alone and very lonely , but it's better than being with someone and being miserable.
I think you should think of your own life and the life of your kids. Being with your b/f could be dangerous physically and mentally, both for you and your kids. Think about it.
2006-10-05 05:19:46 · answer #1 · answered by eviechatter 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being with someone because you feel like you won't be able to find anyone else is not a good reason to be with someone in the first place. Think about your 2 beautiful children you have now, and the one on the way. Do you honestly think that having your children around some one that is doing drugs is being a good role model to your children? This honestly is YOUR decision but I get the feeling that you may be a little co-dependent. Being single for a while might be really good for you so can reflect on what you want and need in a relationship, and when its time the right man will come along. There is absolutely you should be with some one that treats you badly you should be treated like a princess the way all women need to be treated and not expect anything less.
2006-10-05 05:29:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have answered your own questions. Leave him right away, get help from friends and relatives (or even a shelter) if you have to but leave him you must!!! Do it for YOU and for your kids.
Do not be afraid, as I mentioned above, go seek help and make better choices in life when it comes to men. Right now, just worry about being a good person and a good mom. You don't want your kids to follow his example right? Being a parent is hard, being a single parent is even harder but YOU CAN do it. Do NOT look for another man right now just cause you are afraid to be alone. Be strong, be proud of your of your kids, never give up and know that you WILL overcome this. Your life is in YOUR hands and the decisions that you make or not make so be WISER from now on and be a great and responsible mother.
Take care of your insecurities, take care of your life and then down the road, after you have settled, look for a RESPONSIBLE and LOVING role model (step Father) for your children.
Good luck to you!
2006-10-05 05:21:50 · answer #3 · answered by nowhere 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're afraid to be alone? With three kids you'll NEVER be alone! You can start by keeping your legs closed. I know it sounds harsh, but you don't sound like you're in a position to afford any more kids. Next, a hostile meth user doesn't sound like he's be a terriffic dad. Drop him. He will do you nor your kids any good. Learn to stand on your own feet. Stop being scared to be alone. You'll find out who you really are that way. For your kids' sake, you need to make their life better. And stop worrying about where to find a man who wants a woman with three kids. Getting another man is the least of your problems. You're had two men and look where it got you: two kids, a drug using boyfriend and preggers again.. wow, just great.
Get your shyt together and THEN worry about finding a new man.
2006-10-05 05:18:15 · answer #4 · answered by bodinibold 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all since you have been so irresponsible with your children up to now. Isn't it time to get your priorities in line. Why would you get pregnant with a man that you say has all these qualities? Don't you know how to prevent that? You need to get your children in a stable place get out and away from a drug user. Then you need to spend the next 18 years focusing on raising your children. When they are grown you can grab all th losers you want to. Until then they are the most important thing in your life.
2006-10-05 05:18:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL @ us having pretty much the same avatar (well, we did but I changed it after I saw yours...they looked WAY too much alike)
But in regards to your question, you're right, that is a no brainer. You need to think about your children more than if anybody will want you because of them. Leave this guy as soon as possible, the longer you wait the harder it gets. Maybe after you leave he will get his stuff together and later down the line you could try it again. But right now you need to focus on the well being of your children and yourself.
2006-10-05 05:21:00 · answer #6 · answered by Ms Independent 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gees, that one's a tough one. I know how you feel, I've been seeing this guy also for 6 years and he does treat me badly also. The reason I put up with it is because I to don't want to be alone.
If he's doing drugs behind your back though, that's a really scary thought, it definetly isn't safe to continue on with your relationship. I think you should just leave him, there are other men out there who are really good guys if you would just give them a chance. *laughs* I should talk, I should be taking my advice. Well, girl, it's up to what you want to do, no one can tell you what to do. Hope it all works out for you.
2006-10-05 05:27:17 · answer #7 · answered by Janine 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not that they won't want you with three kids, but rather the baggage that comes with it. Sure, it may be a while, but it'll come. Right now though you can't focus on that. You need to be a mom. Besides, boucing around guys like that your kids will see it and think that's how it's supposed to be. Is that what you want? I doubt it.
Dump the looser. He's not safe for the kids. Be the best mom you can be. If it means food stamps & garage sale clothes for a while then that's what it means. It's not about you anymore, it's about the kids.
2006-10-05 05:22:16 · answer #8 · answered by Jim C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, I know it's a scary and all, but you have to think of what is best for you as well as your children. The drug abuse alone is reason enough to leave, let alone the way that he treats you. I know you're afraid that you won't find a man who would accept you as well as your children but it IS very possible, I can only tell you this from my own experiences. I did what I felt was best for my children and had the very same fears as you (I too have 3 children) and I have found a wonderful man who not only loves me but he loves and is willing to be a parent to my children as well, in fact, my daughter will grow up knowing him as her father (she is nearly 17 mos and is not biologically his) in fact, the wedding is less than a month away and in his vows he is not only taking me as his wife but he is accepting and taking on my children as his own.
I know this is a scary time, and if you need an ear and a shoulder feel free to contact me. My screen name is the_mystical_runt and just add @yahoo.com for my email.
Good Luck!!!
Amy
2006-10-05 05:30:24 · answer #9 · answered by the_mystical_runt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, there is someone out there who will love you and your children. Don't let the fear of being alone stop you from being in an unhealthy relationship. Have confidence in yourself! Some times being in a relationship like this you loose yourself and your self-esteem. Don't feel defeated! Surround yourself with family and friends who will build you up and support you. It may not be easy being a single mom but you will be much happier and able to enjoy your children more. Good luck!!
2006-10-05 05:23:15 · answer #10 · answered by Kim M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋