ok so my boy friend smokes a lot of weed..an it bugs the hell out of me....its like he cant live with out it....an i want 2 be with him but not when hes high...so i told hiom how i felt an i asked him if he could maby stop...an he wasnt happy about the idea but he said he would..so i asked him every day did u get high today an he says yes...so i told him i thought u were going 2 stop..an now he thinks iam trying 2 change him...do u think thats true???
2006-10-05 05:12:03 · 43 answers · asked by AUBRIE L 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Well lets see, you are with him and asked him to stop and he didnt but you are still with him. Sounds like he has no motivation to stop. He loves the weed more than you so move on and let him make love to his weed.
2006-10-05 05:14:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, that's a tough one. I was in a similar situation. When I first met my husband he had a baseball injury, he was addicted to weed because it made the pain go away. (and he liked it) It bothered me and I told him how I felt. He still did it every once in a while. But when we started to get serious I told him I would not marry someone who did drugs. He quit immediately, because he loved me more than weed and we got married and hes been clean for over a year now.
In a way you are asking him to change, but It depends on how serious you guys are. Tell him you cant see yourself with anyone long term who has a drug problem. To be honest with you, I don't think its that big of a deal. I have NEVER done a drug in my life! My cousin still smokes and he is one of the best dads and husbands I know. You have to decide if you can deal with it, or if he will change for you. Its a toughy but whats meant to be will always find a way.
2006-10-05 05:27:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you are changing him. Did he smoke when you met him? I smoke alot too and me and my bf have gone around and around about it. But hey atleast I am not a alcoholic ruining everyones life in a cruel way! The thing is the way I feel about it is my bf knew I did it before he met me and if he didn't like it he should have left me alone. I didn't lie to him about quanity or anything so he can take me as I am. However, I did compormise and I am aloud to smoke like 3-4 days a week this I agreed to because we both were giving instead of him telling me how I am going to be, he decided it was easier for him to have his days with me sober and my days high, and so far it has worked out great. Although sometimes I smoke during the day "early" that is okay too because he and I are not together and by the time I see him I am sobered. Try this tecnique out it may easy your problems!
2006-10-05 05:26:31 · answer #3 · answered by Sandra 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Trying to get him to stop is exactly trying to change him, but what he doesn't realize is that its for a good cause which is his health. I ran into the same problem with my boyfriend. He got high just about high all the time except when he was sleeping. As much as I tried to get him to change he just wouldn't. I had to realize too that trying to get someone to stop isn't the best way to go, eventually they will learn themselves in time. But if you do love him, then stick it out and give him some time. I know you are concerned and want to be with him when he's not high, I felt the same way but in time it will change. Especially if he loves you. But it might take a heart break for him to realize because you don't know what you got until its gone.
*Trust me don't try and change him because other habbits will come about and he will do it most likely behind your back and the addiction will get worse.
I hope this helps you.
2006-10-05 05:18:42 · answer #4 · answered by Nezza 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe that weed is addictive regardless of what some people say about it...it sounds like he is hooked and he has no desire to stop smoking it...Chances are that he is never going to stop and obviously it is something that you highly dislike about him. I can see why you would want him to quit. People who smoke weed can be highly obnoxious when they high and I think the smell leaves something to be desired too...
You are merely trying to get him to clean up his act but I am afraid if he loves the feeling of getting high that much he isn't going to stop for you or anybody else. He has to want that for himself...
Your best bet is to find a guy who shares your values in regard to drug use and has more in common with you. Good luck...
2006-10-05 05:41:02 · answer #5 · answered by Cute But Evil 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What he is doing can affect both of your lives. If he isn't willing to part from something so minor as his addiction to be with you, maybe he should find someone who is OK with it. I know that seems harsh, but you will change for the better if you see it is affecting your loved ones.
Also, lets say you ever decide to marry him or to have children. With his drug use it can lead to problems with the babies, or even may not be able to create any.
If he has MJ on his person when you two are together and you get pulled over, he can be thrown in jail.
But don't let it go. Let him know how it hurts you to see him hurting himself. Don't tell him he needs to make a choice but let him know that you want to be with someone who not only cares about you but with someone who cares about themselves.
Besides- how many jobs can you get if you smoke weed all day?? none....
2006-10-05 05:18:11 · answer #6 · answered by glorymomof3 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you are trying to change him, but for the better. He was smoking weed when you met him and that didnt seem to bother you. Now you want him to stop, I understand why you want him to stop but then again try seeing it from his point of view, you met him this way. If you had a problem with since the beginning then you have never started a relationship with a weed-head.
He'll stop only if he wants to.
2006-10-05 05:15:40 · answer #7 · answered by Melia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you started dating, was he doing this? If so, then it's not fair that you are demanding he change midstream. You saw the total package and still chose him. If he just recently started doing this, then you're not unreaonable in your desires to change him back to what he was when you signed on to the relationship. You are trying to change him, no doubt. But it's unfair that he expects that you will simply live with whatever behavior he exhibits. The focus should be on what YOU want instead of you nagging him to be a certain way
2006-10-05 05:15:52 · answer #8 · answered by Lesleann 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
IT can be an addiction, like smoking cigarettes.
Stop asking if you can't tell and if he is being considerate enough to not do it around you then maybe you should let it go.
If you can't let it go then let him go.
Whatever you do, don't let him bring it in your house. The consequences for having that stuff in your place will be yours too and if you have kids and that stuff is found in your dwelling or your car or anywhere the consequences can be way worse.
You have to make a careful decision.
Good luck
2006-10-05 05:23:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are trying to change him but for the better and for his own health. I went out with a boy who smoked weed. I told him not to do it around me and i don't want to see him high. It's all about compromise, if he doesn't do as you ask (which isn't much) he doesn't have the respect for you.
2006-10-05 05:15:32 · answer #10 · answered by Lil L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋