I have been seeing a really great guy he is practicly living with me, however it turns out he is married, i found out through work 2 weeks ago. I confronted him, he said he had to marry her couldnt get out of it. He says he has never felt or known anything like he has wit me before. he stays over all week, stays most weekends, if not he comes over on sun evening. Its a really great relationship, we hav been 2gether for nearly 1 year i thought we were heading for more serious things. I dont know what to do know, really need some good advice
2006-10-05 04:59:45 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I hav refused to see him since i found out, hes been pleading wit me to see him. I know it was all a lie to him, but to me it was nearly a year wit some1 who i thought was somethin special. I cant turn my feelings off. Its killing me thinking bout it, i know i should get rid of him but everything else is telling me not too.
2006-10-05 05:16:30 · update #1
Seriously a tough question! Morals should tell you that its wrong to get involved with someone who is married. Taking into consideration you didn't know, don't beat yourself up over it, and don't let others do it either. You seriously need to do some investigating though. Why was he "forced" into this marriage? Why is he still married to her? If he's over as much as he is, where is his wife? And isn't she suspicious? I would think he's been confronted by her as well, so whats the story there? I do believe, now that you are aware of the "situation," you need to step back and get all the answers before this relationship goes any further. He needs to take care of his buisness before he is lucky enough to be with "someone he has never felt this way about before." If he does care for you like he claims, he will do the right thing, and all will work out!!! Believe that! The situation your in is not fair to you, don't do it to yourself. Not only that, its not fair to his wife even if she is some head case, and its not fair to him. I hope this helps. Good luck!
2006-10-05 05:12:50 · answer #1 · answered by Lori T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been together and practically living with one another and never knew he was married? I don't know if he's a real sleeze or you just aren't.......I'll use the word "perceptive" to avoid using something else.
So..it's like this. He's dishonest and sneaky. You on the other hand have no real insight, foresight or just don't care to...I'm not sure which. Don't gimme this "he's a great guy and wants to be with me" crap either. If he was "that great" he'd have told you about his wife.
Personally....I can't imagine how you couldn't feel hurt, betrayed, lied to and taken advantage of.
Somehow by your entire statement above though it appears you don't have any self respect and don't really care.
So..with that obviously the case...pay for his divorce and have him marry you. In a few years he'll be doing the same thing again and telling another woman the same thing he's telling you now. Except you'll be the wife the other woman doesn't know about.
Sayanora and rots of ruck
2006-10-05 05:09:59 · answer #2 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't mind living like this then you should just continue to do so. There is nothing that requires you to have a conventional relationship. This is all about what you want and expect. If you want to marry him let him know, and give him a time frame for how long you are willing to wait. Just be careful because he has already shown his propensity to run away from commitment and to be deceptive. I guess it all comes down to, do you trust him or not? If you can't trust him any longer find someone new.
Do not let a fear of not finding someone new keep you from making a break with him.
2006-10-05 05:04:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look the whole thing lands in one sentence. You just found out that he was married. And you really think that he is a great catch? If all of this were true wouldn't he have been honest with you? I say send home and tellhim not to call or come back without divorce papers signed and finalized.
2006-10-05 05:04:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has not been honest with you, your relationship will be on hold for years, think about it, do you want to tie up your life, for years, waiting for him to be free, or for him to see what he wants, what about you, don"t you want more for yourself? Put a stop to this, move on, and go out and have fun! The next friend, get to know him, take your time. Let today be the beginning of your life!
2006-10-05 05:10:28 · answer #5 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it almost sounds like you r his mistress. why is it so important to have great relationship forever when it cant get to b something more and nobady to know about it and when you r and will b always the second he goes to. so if he realy feel the same ask him to devorce and if he realy mind her he will.
i am curious why he didnt tell you?
i dont thing you should continue with him but if you do you have to prepare to give the best for him and mabye left behind broken !
however good luck !
2006-10-05 05:06:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lemme guess... he said He cant leave her cuz she'll hurt herself and he would feel like it was his fault. GIRL>>> WAKE UP! You are the OTHER woman... kharma **What goes around, COMES AROUND.** and now someday, when you are happily married... or in a "good" relationship.. that man of yours is gonna cheat cheat cheat all because you didnt know when to let this guy go. Good luck. KHARMA IS A *****!
2006-10-05 05:03:14 · answer #7 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
FIRST OF ALL HOW CAN YOU SAY HE'S GREAT WHEN HE LIED TO YOU????!!!! SECOND HOW IN THE WORLD DOES HE DO THE STAYING OVER YOUR HOUSE LIKE HE DOES WITHOUT ANY PROBLEMS WITH HIS WIFE??? THIRD OF ALL I WOULD DUMP HIM LIKE A BAD HABIT, YOU HAVE TO GIVE YOURSELF SOME RESPECT AND HE HAS TO SHOW YOU RESPECT ALSO!!! LORD ONLY KNOWS WHAT ELSE HE HAS BEEN HIDING FROM YOU! FOR ALL YOU KNOW HE'S GOT MULTIPLE WIVES AND LIVES A DOUBLE LIFE WITH 30 KIDS! LEAVE HIM HUNNY, YOU DESERVE A MAN ALL TO YOURSELF! NOT ONE WHO YOU HAVE TO SHARE!
2006-10-05 05:04:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he cares about you that much then he'll divorce her. Don't take anyone's scraps. Think of it this way, when he's not sleeping with you at night, he's servicing his wife. Besides if you were serious to him he would have told you his situation right from the beginning. He had to be sneaky instead. You're just his play-thing.
2006-10-05 05:02:59 · answer #9 · answered by Ruth Less RN 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to end it with him. He's been living a lie all this time you've been together. He didn't bother to tell you up front. He's not worth your time. Tell him goodbye, get his stuff out, and then you move on. You deserve better.
2006-10-05 05:03:47 · answer #10 · answered by sassybree1979 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋