She is 13 and very impulsive. Yesterday she told me that a classmate asked her what she likes in a boy and said that she wouldn't want to date a black boy. She has nothing against them but what she was trying to say is that she is not attracted to them. Now, this 'friend' has spread it around school that she is racist. That is so far from the truth and does not usually see people that way.
I told her next time to focus on what she does like in a boy and not to mention race or ethnicity at all. I also told her that when things like that get misunderstood it can get dangerous. I think she got my point but that still won't help her control how she says things.
2006-10-05 04:40:34 · 6 answers · asked by AlongthePemi 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I also told her to tell her friend that she is hurt by her spreading this rumor around.
2006-10-05 04:41:31 · update #1
That 'friend' is a stupid little boy(or a girl,I didn't find out) but you should be proud of your daughter that she is still confident enough to say what she likes and would like and what she doesn't and wouldn't like.Did you think about the not-too-far-in-the-future moment when someone will show or offer her drugs and alcohol?Think about it.Yes,she wasn't right to say she doesn't like black boys to date but she had to say it more careful and maybe not to that 'riend' as she already learnt is not her friend.But don't take only the wrong part of the problem.Remember what the right part means - she is confident and ready to be more responsible for herself.Just hug her and say "I'm sure you are going to cope with that guy.I love you!" and leave the room.Don't tell her what to do or how to cpe the situation.She is 13,she is able to think out a decision.Just support her.
2006-10-05 06:18:12 · answer #1 · answered by julie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is only being honest! lol I know- all little girls have their IDEAL husband picked out by time we r 12 yrs old. I wanted to marry the Marlboro man! Now married to a cowboy....hmmmmmmm odd! not! I also am not really attracted to black guys or even blonde guys! I like dark hair and dark eyes! We all have our preference! BUT she is a teen and I havent met a teen yet who thinks before they talk! lol I have a 16 year old son! He always blurts it out befoere thinking! Just let her klnow she might have hurt feelings the way she said it.
2006-10-05 22:05:06 · answer #2 · answered by cstinkerbell6969 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that there is alot you can do, but be there for her when she has to learn the hard way. I went through something like that when I was in Jr. High and eventually I learned to keep my mouth shut, and to walk on thin Ice with everyone.
2006-10-05 11:44:12 · answer #3 · answered by Katie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See if you can get someone you know (maybe someone she doesn't know well) to say some stuff to you, in front of her, about characteristics that SHE has in a negative way. IE if she has blonde hair, get that person to go on and on about blonde hair jokes, etc. This will probably make her feel upset/mad/sad, and then you can sit with her and explain to her that making such comments hurts other people and we all should be careful in what types of things we say about other people because we wouldn't want others to say horrible things about us.
2006-10-05 11:44:55 · answer #4 · answered by Cookie On My Mind 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
tell her to think how how wirds affect others, possibly take some deep breaths before talking or count to 10.
2006-10-05 11:42:43 · answer #5 · answered by stacey g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Engage the brain before running the tongue.
2006-10-05 11:46:12 · answer #6 · answered by waggy_33 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋