2006-10-05 04:36:30 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Wow, I know first hand your pain. My marriage is over-coming such an issue. I've been married 5 yr, and my husband has a 1yr old outside of the marriage.
Okay, first you can't ask this of strangers, why you say? Becasue you know this man, not us. Even though your so hurt right now you can sleep/eat/concentrate/make love to him/etc, you have to set that aside and determine wether or not your marriage is worth the effort it takes to over come this.
Consider the following:
1-How did you find out about this child...your husband coming forward w/this daming info, or girlfriends, etc.
2-If your husband was the source of this info has he ended all contact w/the whore, and is he taking care of his child ( has paternity been established? Whores tend to get pregnant after a married man tries to leave them, and then blame it on the man, just to spite him for coming to his damn senses, and dumping her sorry stank ask!! Make sure the baby his your husbands first) , you have to give him credit for manning up, and having the heart to tell you,and then dealing with whatever your decision is. You do know the ball is in your court now right?
You must not listen to your friends, and all there, ''Girrrrrrrrrrl I would''.......crap!
Then heffa's don't know what they would do if they were you. The fact is your married, w/a family. If you love the man, and believe he loves you, the two of you need to first seek your Heavenly Father for forgiveness together ( you played a part, even if it's a small part in why he jumped off, I know that may hurt, but some reason lead him out the door, be it lack of sex, the way you treat him, wether or not you gave him enough praise, respect, admiration, men are babies and require alot of attention.....I learned that the hard way! )
Seek God, he will provide you with the comfort, and strength to get thru this.
2006-10-05 04:54:12 · answer #1 · answered by NURSING FOR LIFE!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on if he just found out himself as well. If he did, then you need to deal with this together. If he knew and did not tell you, then that's a whole nother story. I wouldn't leave because of it unless you don't love him anymore. If you love him, stay and work through this. He must have had his reasons for not telling you. Best to talk it through. If you can forgive him for not telling you, that's the first battle. If you can't forgive him, then it's over.
2006-10-05 12:46:08 · answer #2 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he cheated on you once he will do it again. If he lied to you once he will do it again. Consider yourself lucky that you only gave him two years of your life and not 20 or 30 or 40. As hard as it maybe if you stay with him more skeletons will come out. Start a fresh new life for self while you can.Life is just too short to be spent feeling insecure and hurt. You deserve better!!
2006-10-05 11:42:11 · answer #3 · answered by Dee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The timetable seems to be he had a pregnant girlfriend while planning a wedding to his fiance,whether he knew about the child or not this man has severe honesty and fidelity issues.The questions are what is his plan for this child now?What do you want out of the future with your husband and his new longterm commitment?Can the trust be repaired?What steps is he taking?My heart breaks for you,good luck
2006-10-05 15:17:34 · answer #4 · answered by maykithapin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on when he found out he had a child. If he's been lying for two years, then that is a big issue for me.
But what happened in the past can't be changed. He cheated on you before you were married; he hadn't yet vowed to be faithful.
I would stay and go to marriage counselling, if I were you.
2006-10-05 11:42:59 · answer #5 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if he has a 2 yr old and you've been with him 6 years, something doesn't add up. Leave him, once a cheater, always a cheater. If for some reason you weren't with him when it happened however, you may consider keeping him.
2006-10-05 11:42:00 · answer #6 · answered by Chris M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ohh nooo he didn't...umm what the hell! That means he cheated on you big time - I'm not going to tell you what to do but i'll tell you what i'll do and that's leave because he's hidden a whole 2 year old from you for soo long...who knows what else he's hiding. That **** just ain't cool and I wouldn't even be able to trust him anymore after that. Good luck with that girl.
2006-10-05 11:39:35 · answer #7 · answered by Miss Thang 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All men are cheaters in some way .my husband had a relationship with a younger woman for over a year I stayed with him because I love him ,So I say if you really love him you can make it work if you want it to.
2006-10-05 15:41:33 · answer #8 · answered by rhonda h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, did you both just find out you had a two year old, or did you just find out he did? Because that would be the deciding factor for me. If he lied, that's a huge deal for someone you're married to.
2006-10-05 11:39:22 · answer #9 · answered by francesfarmer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just depends how much you live him, and where he is in this relationship right now. It would kill me if my wife cheated on me. If it were a one time thing and she was truly sorry, I think I would take her back. It would hurt and would require some trust building, but I love her too much to walk away.
2006-10-05 11:54:26 · answer #10 · answered by HomePapa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋