I feel like a hypocrite to my personal beliefs?

Question

I think about how to help the world, yet I treat my parents as if they cant be changed because they dont agree with me and that they are hopeless.

I think that changing the world means changing people one at a time, yet I end up hating some people for what they believe in and feel comfortable in my own bubble of righteousnous.

Does anyone else feel this gap between reality and ideals? What are some remedies?

It seems that a lot of answers are saying that everyones beliefs are relative to each other and that there is no correct way to live.

I disagree. I wouldnt say that there is only one way to live but there are some you can eliminate? Like some philosophies of living have impact on other peoples' lives. For example, if someone is sick, you bring them to a doctor and not a spiritual witch doctor.

I'll post another questiona nd see what people think.

Answer 1

Leikevy, Well I just spent 20 minutes answering the question you posted about absolute and relative personal philosophies. Not sure why you removed it cause it was interesting. Anyway this question is just as interesting. First I don't think anyone can "change" other people. Change comes from within. You can lead people or show people by setting an example, but all the examples in the world won't change someone unless they want to. And maybe it's not your parents that need to or will change but it will be you and how you view them. I like the saying that if you don't like what is happening then change the way you think about it.
Your comment about how it would be wrong taking a sick person to a witch doctor verses taking them to a real doctor was interesting, but I could disagree. It would go back to what my intentions were. If my intentions were to help a sick person in any way that I could and all that I knew or had available to me was a "witch doctor" then taking them to what I considered a healer would be better that doing nothing. You may have to look at what people's intentions are and not judge or hate them because what they do is different than what you might do. (not sure if this whole witch doctor reference was a good example of what I meant, but I tried)

Answer 2

Despite mr grow up above, that's quite normal. However your parents are, it's likely they are set in their ways and you'll have to adjust to them accordingly. The older I get the more I realise the diversity between different people. You just have to pick people you can cope with, as well as learning to be tolerant of others which is not always easy. Seriously you cant HATE someone for their beliefs, if they push them on you then back off and go some other way. You can't change anyone at all really. The gap between 'reality and ideals' is part of life, it won't go away. Just chill - there are no answers, only choices.

Besides, if the world was perfect it would be boring. You can't have good without bad.

Answer 3

I have a suggestion,live with it.Everybody has there own beliefs.And thats what makes the world so unique.If everybody had your beliefs the world would be a boring place to live.And they wouldn't be your beliefs anymore.
You can't change everybodies opinions and what they think.And honestly would you really want to.
You want to change the world,start with yourself.And maybe others will follow your lead.Just like the saying"lead by example".
Another thing you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders,so your parents must have done something right to influence your way of thinking.
It's time to pop your bubble,and start living in the real world.

Answer 4

I believe feelings and beliefs can evolve or grow for anyone. They are relative to some degree. But to dangle and grow out of personal problems is one real way to close the gap between reality and ideals. We don't always change for the better. Sometimes, it is better to change back (if we have the option). Read. Discuss. Keep an open mind. Be aware. Accept. Struggle. Be present. Work for peace of mind.

Answer 5

I used to feel the gap between reality and ideals, like you are saying. But, you don't have to agree with people to love them. For example, there are several people in my family that are living in a way that I see as hurtful to themselves and others. Do I want to tell them how I feel and risk alienating them? Will they see my views as narrow, and see me as self-righteous? Am I a hypocrite if I don't make my views known to them, and just go on as if everything were okay? Well, I am confident that because of my Christian beliefs, I must first love, above everything else. Just love and respect others, because we all make the journey at our own pace. If you are too rigid to listen to others, you risk closing yourself off to new understanding. Be kind to your parents- you probably can't begin to fathom how much they love you. And lead by example. Actions always speak louder than words.

Answer 6

the thing is that you want to change people. Why is that? You changing the world would be you excepting people for who they are. Stop thinking that you are better than everyone first of all. People must except your ignorance, so why can't you except them. People aren't going to always feel or see the same things as you. People are different, but it seems as if you want everyone to think like you and understand you. Do you think you may have some growing to do within yourself? Think about it...

Answer 7

I know exactly how you feel. Only maybe I'm in a different boat. My dad is a pastor and I treat both him and my parents the same way. I also don't like a lot of people for their beliefs and such. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to find a remedy myself so I can't help you there. I just wanted to let you know, your not the only one.

Answer 8

It was recently pointed out to me that there is a difference between having goals and having desires. A goal is something that one can acomplish on one's own. A desire requires the cooperation of another person. So, for example, I can make a college diploma my goal, but I cannot make marriage a goal, for that type of accomplishment requires the cooperation of another--my future spouse.
It sounds like maybe you are calling desires "goals," and then feeling the failure of not accomplishing them (even though they are out of your hands). So, for example, with regards to your parents, you can make it a goal to treat them respectfully or maybe to be a light of Christ to them...so on and so forth. But you cannot make it a goal to change them--only they can do that. That is a desire. Goals require action, but desires need prayer.
I can relate to your feeling comfortable in a "bubble of righteousness." I have found a good goal for me to do is that when I see other people's faults, I think of ways in which what they are doing or saying is good (for example, I may concentrate on the fact that their intentions are good, even if an action would not seem so). I call this "giving them the benefit of the doubt." Another goal I try to do is realize that when I see others' faults so easily even when they cannot , they can probably see my own when I cannot. It helps me stay humble, I hope!
Anyway, I hope this was helpful! God Bless!

Answer 9

I think maybe it's a bit unrealistic to think that you can change someone. You can't expect everyone to belive the same way that you believe...that's why there are so many different religions and denominations. I think that what the world needs is not "someone" trying to change everyone, but to just relax and accept differences. Some people are not easy to like, and very easy to hate. But ignore it. Accept the things that you can't change.

Answer 10

I think that you can change the world without changing others. Start loving others for what they are and accept them and their beliefs. Since they believe in them, they must think those are right... just like you think your thoughts are right. Don't try to force your opinion on others or treat them bad because they don't agree. Accept them! If changing the world means changing the others, then the one who has to change is YOU... start accepting others and listen to them. You don't have to agree, you should just try to see things from their point of view.