People are always looking for love, but most of them are just looking for marriage, not love. Agree?

Question

Love doesn't equal marriage. Marriage is just a system imposed by the society to encourage a certain way of sexual activities needed by many individuals.
However, Love is an affection, a feeling inside our minds. You may love more than one persons.
Nowadays, the one you want to marry may not be the one you really love. In modern society, so many factors have influenced us and they include financial ones inevitably.
The chance that you can FIND a perfect match for yourself AND STAY TOGETHER is so statistically remote.
So what is Love? And how to? Does it necessarily involve sacrifice?
And if one cannot find one he/she true love, should he/she just marry someone he/she likes but does not love?

Answer 1

There are many different kinds of love and they affect people differently. From the outside every marriage looks the same, or at least similar, but I think that every marriage is different and that every relationship is different. I think that do you raise some interesting quetions though.

Sometimes people marry purely for love and that can be a beautiful thing but I agree that more often marriage is just a convenient business arrangement with a little sex thrown in for good measure.

Besides marriage isn't really for the couple anyway. Most cultures use marriage as a way to control and sanction sexual relations and to provide a stable framework for raising children.

This has both good and bad effects. Its a big balancing act and it always involves plenty of compromise and 'sacrifice' (discomfort?), but that doesn't mean that you should ever have to sacrifice your true identity.

Anybody who has really been in love knows that marriage is not necessary but sometimes desireable. Anybody who has been in a bad marriage knows that it is NOT always a good thing.

I think each couple has to decide for themselves what is best. Love is a wonderful thing but there's nothing wrong with a good business relationship as long as you're honest about it.

Answer 2

I don't know any people who might be "just looking for marriage, not love". Most people I know are looking for love (if they don't have it already), and some of them would like to get married when they find it. It's not something imposed by the society, but something they decide.
I'm not sure what kind of people you know, but nowadays, more than ever, if you don't feel the need to marry, you just don't.
I'm suspicious of applying statistics to human feelings.
The sacrifice love implies is the sacrifice of ego, enough to make sure the two egos of the couple won't clash. Both sides have to let go a little bit. Otherwise, the one who does might feel entitled to leave the one who doesn't. Staying together is not a matter a statistics, you see.
About the last question, you sound young enough to be able to wait for "true love" a little longer before making any decision that can change your life forever. When people get older and they start to feel lonely, they get less picky about who they want to share their life with, they just want the company of a caring soul. This doesn't make marriage "just a system imposed by the society".

Answer 3

I would like to think that is isn't true, I mean of course it happens. Statistics would prove your theory, with the rates of divorce in many countries is 50% or higher.

Personally I think that it all comes down to selfishness, the countries with the elevated divorce rates are the affluent countries. So I suppose when people say that “money makes you happy”, you only have a 50% guarantee that it will.
However if you were told that you had to have surgery and there was only a 50% chance that you would live would you be so reckless?

Since I have been in the United States as a nanny looking after children for a very wealthy family, I have decided that I would never want the big house 2 kids with a nanny who looks after them, while I am off playing tennis and shopping. For the reason that isn’t love for your children or your husband/wife, it is only love for yourself.

Some people do not realize just how much work it can be, and “take the plunge” without appropriate thought. Personally I think that people do find love but it is how they use it, and what gets in the way of it, and I deem that money if a very significant contributing factor. Not the only cause but a major one.

I hope to find love one day and that I can get married have heaps of children and am happy to spend time with them.

Answer 4

Marriage was devised long ago to protect women finantially and for men to have everything done for them, and to continue having a mother who will then take over from their original one, who always did everything for them Thank god marriage is very slowly phasing out. I wouldn't get caught in a trap that failed 60% of the time and that's a very conservative figure, since most marriages stay together for the sake of either the kids OR financial restrictions OR insecurity and/or inconvenience of starting a new life.......but those couples are miserable as well, though still married......>

So i'd say marriage REALLY only works about 10 or 20 percent of the time which is decreasing as well. Love has nothing to do with marriage, by the way. People are looking for a life situation to meet their needs and requirements or just want to have children. LOVE dissapates [especially the infatuation version] and unfortunately causes people to mistakenly get married and they are so sorry they did when the bloom is off the rose........>

Then there's miserable kids living in a miserable home with two angry and unhappy parents who would provide a better environment separately instead of together. Better two HAPPY parents apart, than two miserable one's together......>

I don't believe in staying together for the kids.... it works against the kids. Forgot to mention that I grew up in a perfect home with loving parents in one of those 10% of happy marriages so I was blessed, and not speaking from personal baggage...... but only of what I see all around me which breaks my heart, and so many friends as well, who are or WERE so miserable in the restriction of loveless or just unhappy and incompatable 'marriages'.......>

Who the HECK invented marriage, anyway! Relationships don't NEED a piece of paper submitted by the government to approve emotions that two people feel towards eachother nor their committment. Marriage sufficates that too and causes splits.

Answer 5

I think most people marry for love - even if they rush at it and muck it up. The chances of finding true love/soul mate are remote, but possible. Nowadays everyone is in a hurry, and people jump into bed together before feelings develop, so love is less likely to grow. Love really does enter through the eyes (ie lust!), and if you get to know the soul of the person, love grows.

Personally I have been married, and although I would like to marry again, I would be perfectly happy living with someone. I think love is the ability to always see beauty in that special person, not being able to imagine life without them, and having a burning passion for them. They are your lover, best friend - that you cannot do without EVER and your chosen family for life. You would do anything for that person, and if someone else hurts or attacks them, you would defend them to the hilt and rather bear the hurt yourself.

All love involves sacrifice, because to experience it in the full, you must let go, which will leave you feeling open and vulnerable. But the rewards are great, and although I have been hurt - just like everyone else - I would not change any part of my past or who I shared it with.

Some people do settle, and that is their choice. I choose not to. I choose to wait for my equal/soul mate, because I believe it will be worth it.

Answer 6

You can't define what love is with a few words or feelings. Some people are deeply madly in love to start with and they marry for love. Later they fall out of love with each other, so maybe their love was lust? Define Lust? You can't. Is there a difference between love and lust? Nobody really knows until they get there. How is it possible for a human to love somebody to the extent that they would die for them one minute to hating them the next? Our generation is the first to live without the values of marriage. We are not forced to marry by our peers or parents ,we marry by choice as we feel at the time that we love that person to dedicate our life to them. For some couples marriage can be happy and loving but for others it was the wrong choice to make for whatever reason. I also believe that you can love somebody but not be in love with them but you would stay with them and be happy to stay as you cared about them so much. I couldn't see many men or women just getting married because society says they should or marrying somebody they didn't want to. I'm not speaking in respect of any arranged marriages in other societies.

Answer 7

The two, marriage and love, are totally independent of each other.
True love seems to be getting scarce nowadays, with or without
marriage. Also consider marriages of convenience where, more
often than not both bride and groom are not truly in love. True
love does involve some sacrifice which is not felt since true
love over rules any sacrifice, which is the only test of it‘s existence.

Answer 8

i don't agree marraige is a way of society imposing ways of sexual activities.

Marriage is more to do with society demanding you are part of a long term relationship and the practical need to join forces with someone for economic or social reasons.

But i do agree with most of what you say, i don't think there is a connection between love and marriage. I would say the majority of people are not in love, and in marriages for practical reasons.

There is nothing wrong with that, but how can you admit it when society says you should marry the one you love.

Answer 9

From what I listen you do not have a wedding ceremony. I hate to assert this yet in case you had doubts and now you discovered out.You married to delight your relatives?What about suitable your self?You enable your self down fairly. He needs to get over himself. even as he needs sex tell him you do not have any skill , that you fairly sleep in.Day and nighttime! i do not learn about the way you manage your anger topics. Being annoyed and indignant isn't any excuse for taking a hostage. First you're married and now a liar. those adult males and women individuals are looking for his or her soul acquaintances.Lies in elementary words complicates issues and bring about unnecessary disappointments and hurts.And wastes the time of all in touch. believe me i have been there and performed that .. no longer EHarmony yet with telephone courting amenities. nevertheless unmarried even with each and every thing those years(lol). once married and that i must have understand when I actually had an out of body journey suitable at the front door.(i'm no longer loopy) some thing instructed me no longer to bypass in.damn did I pay interest? Hell to the no.bypass again and enable them understand you're married. ask your self what's is you want /a divorce an affair then bypass for it. whats up you in simple terms made a freind! ttyl

Answer 10

this is a good question,

two people get to gether for marriage to show their commitment for their love or that they just don't want to grow old and alone. They show commitment to that person because they want to have a family and security.

When you find some one you rally care about and you want to get married because you want to COMMIT. If you don'y then you lose that person.

This is why people play around before they want to settle down. They want to get sexed up before settling down with some one the can grow old with.

So marriage isn't about love, but rather a commitment to what you think is best for yourself.

I bet anyguy out there would prefer an open relationship to a heavily committed marriage where you cannot even look at another woman.

PS I am not married incase you want to disagree and comment on me and my view or something...lol