I told her something this morning and she thinks that I have been keeping it a secret, even though I haven't found the right time to tell her until now. It involves buying a property, and I wanted to tell her, but I felt she might not understand.
2006-10-05 03:49:25 · 12 answers · asked by Cricketer 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
To offer more details, I was in the process of buying a property abroad, and I wasn't sure if it was all going to plan. I should have told her my intentions, but I felt a little embarrassed because the money was a gift, and I didn't want her to think I was haded everything on a plate. I told her this morning, because yesterday the contracts came through, and I wanted her to share my excitement. This answers invention is incredible, by the way!
2006-10-05 04:01:31 · update #1
If she breaks up with you over the fact that you bought property without telling her, then she didn't really love you in the first place. You aren't married, so you don't have to tell her everything. Only married couples have that obligation because their finances are intertwined at that point. The fact that you felt she wouldn't understand your purchase tells me that you are not aligned on financial issues and are not yet ready to marry. If she leaves you now, it wasn't meant to be and there is nothing you can do. You didn't do anything wrong.
2006-10-05 03:54:21 · answer #1 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You call her your girlfriend but you didn't mention something as important as buying a property?????
If you what her to be a girlfriend (with any kind of future relationship) and not just a friend you are sleeping with (i assume) you really need to be honest about everything you do - Trusting someone is all part of the big game called life.
Why did you buy the property without her knowing? Is it a potential home for the two of you? Is it an investment to rent out?
These are important to get straight in your head before telling her because she will feel hurt that you would do something so fundamental without even talking about it with her - don't get me wrong, it is your money (your not married) but if you want her to feel that she is part of your life you need to include her.
I do not know how you can tell her but you need to at some point - and regards her wanting to break up because of it you will have to just find out how badly offended she feels once she knows the truth (we are all different).
Good luck.
2006-10-05 04:03:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tough one to help with, given the lack of detail. If you told her you are going to 'buy a house with your 3 other wives', then the odds aren't on your side!
If, as it sounds, you have struggled to be open and honest with her because you were unsure about what her position would be in because of it, then you've only got one option - you have to tell her what your motivations for keeping it secret were.
Don't try and mislead yourself (or her, for that matter) that you couldn't find the right time. You made the choice not to tell her. If it now looks as though it's causing problems, you have to tell her why you made that choice. If she loves you (and if your reason is not dangerous - i.e. you were trying to protect her from something, or you didn't want to tell her in case the purchase fell through etc) then she'll understand. More importantly, she'll be pleased that you found it in yourself to talk to her.
If the reason isn't kind and you kept it secret out of necessity, then my advice would be to work out what you might lose if you continue to try and be devious. I've found, to my own personal cost, that it is usually not a good idea to pile lies on top of deceit. Having said that, women can be dangerous creatures when confronted with the truth...!!!
2006-10-05 03:56:59 · answer #3 · answered by PETER G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it involves buying a property with someone else then she's probably right to think that you've been keeping it from her...
Alternatively, if you've bought the property for yourself (and you don't say how long you've been together) then, again, you've deliberately excluded her from your life
If you have bought the property for both of you (my partner did this) without consulting her, and it's in your name only - then that in't going to made her feel too good either.
I'm sorry but whatever has gone on it just seems to me like you're living your own life in which you gf is just a temporary accessory, and you are going to have to tailor your reassurances accordingly
2006-10-05 03:56:19 · answer #4 · answered by trebs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she wants to break up then I'm sure there is more to this story than is suggested by the summary you have given.
As a pointer.
Feeling she might not understand can be quite insulting from her point of view. She probably feels you don't credit her with enough intelligence.
2006-10-05 03:52:39 · answer #5 · answered by JeffE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't avoid it!! if she feels you have done her wrong she'll never change her mind!! she may forgive you given the right amount of grovelling but sounds like you're toast. Try not to grovel too much if you start being honest and she still doesn't understand then knock it on the head!
2006-10-05 03:56:15 · answer #6 · answered by crownose 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One avoids going out with her in the first place.
2006-10-05 03:51:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question is unclear. Is it YOU who wants to break up, or her?
If it's you, why are you avoiding her? Get it over with. If it's HER, what's the POINT of avoiding her?
2006-10-05 03:54:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just try to talk to her...if she cares about you, she will understand....The best solution is to talk to her...Remind her all the good things that were between you...good luck
2006-10-05 03:52:54 · answer #9 · answered by ota marmota 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cant avoid breaking up if its gonna happen. Trust issues...
2006-10-05 03:51:58 · answer #10 · answered by voluptoustaureanfemale 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋