A co-worker had invited me to an instant message chat with several others. So we all were chatting except for her. She wasn't aware that she had started the chat. Someone asked where she was and I jokingly said, she's a slacker. FYI: Her supervisor was in the chat too. Apparently, she didn't take it as a joke. I attempted to apologize and explain to her; but she wouldn't even listen to me. I got mad and said, "glad we're grown up and can talk about this". I told her supervisor about it and let her know that I thought my co-worker was an asset and hardworker (far cry from slacker). Things are awkward at work. She walks by me and doesn't say anything and will walk the opposite way when she sees me coming. What do I do? PS. I've joked with her in the past and I'm sure she's heard me use the word "slacker" before. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
2006-10-05 03:33:08 · 17 answers · asked by WasabiGirlLovesLorax 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
pick up a little something (maybe a cookie, something small) and attach a funny card explaining that you didn't mean to hurt her feelings and that you value her as a coworker. and even though you were only joking, you realize that it was inappropriate of you to say and you're sorry. byegones.
2006-10-05 03:41:02 · answer #1 · answered by jules 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would she all of the sudden get mad? She must obviously think she's a slacker! I would let her cool off for a few days, and when she's in a moment that she can't get up and leave, just apologize if it was that big of a deal.Be the bigger person because it's spilled milk that she's crying over. Maybe she thought that her supervisor would take it seriously. Tell her supervisor the deal and let him or her talk to her.
2006-10-05 10:37:50 · answer #2 · answered by Dr. PHILlis (in training) 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me that you have made an honest attempt to remedy the situation. It appears as though your co-worker wanted to "play a game" but when things didn't go her way...she became a "sore sport"! If you want to do something extra in order to make one last attempt at an apology, buy her a heartfelt apology card, add any personal message that you feel might touch her and leave it at her work station with a little heart shaped chocolate. If she is still able to give you the cold shoulder after this type of action on your part...you just give her the cold shoulder right back! At least you will have come to an agreement to disagree, and that in itself will ease the tension in the office over time. Also...a word of advice to you...ease up on yourself!...people make mistakes...its only human nature...maybe your co-worker needs to learn how not to sweat the small stuff!
2006-10-05 10:45:58 · answer #3 · answered by Linda S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I must commend you first because you tried to talk to her and mend things. She sounds kinda immature in her reaction, but maybe that wasn't a good time to handle it. Perhaps she felt it was too soon and she needed more cool down time. (some people take up to a month, or a quarter of a century...lol) Try a present. Have it delivered to her so you don't have to do it yourself. Put a message on it that says something to the effect of, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings and want you to know that you really are an asset to our team. It doesn't have to be big and expensive. Just to show her you really do care you hurt her. Obviously you do, or you wouldn't be under here asking. =) If she still gives you the cold shoulder, just let it go. Better to do this then let her poison your outlook on life. My fingers are crossed for ya.
2006-10-05 10:41:19 · answer #4 · answered by unique2477 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She feels that you put her down in front of her supervisor... which by the way... you did...
So appologize to her, write her a note explaining that you are sorry for being insensitive offer to buy her lunch or whatever. Explain in the note that you explained to her supervisor that you were joking, and eventually she will get over it.
If she doesn't she is crazy and you don't need a crazy woman in your life. But... be sincere in your appology... take a page from the married man's guide to appologizing, take responsibility for what she feels offended her, (even if it doesn't make sense) and use a phrase that puts yourself down and illustrates your understanding of your horrible crime against her dignity.
try and slip in the phrase "i put my foot in my mouth" or words to that effect. Illustrate to her that you both feel remorse and that you are sure that "I made a fool out of myself" or words to that effect. Also be sure to validate her reaction to your assault on her work ethic, by saying that you were foolish or stupid or somthing to say to her "glad we're grown up" etc...
This way she has nothing to feel angry about and all you have to do is sit back and wait for her anger to evaporate, (depending on her temperment this may take a while if ever if she is crazy). And waiting on the make-up sex.... wait... sorry different type of answer...
Best advice that I can give, on this subject anyway. Good luck and I hope this helps.
2006-10-05 10:42:53 · answer #5 · answered by Teclis98 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow... poor you. I think she must feel insecure about her position at work and feels worried about the term "slacker" being used in conjunction with her name....But...maybe she is really more embarrassed about starting a chat without even knowing it.
but you want a solution and here is mine:
You should buy one of those cheesy but funny Hallmark cards and explain your actions ( just poking fun...and how you explained to her supervisor your feelings about her ) and then end it with, " I just wanted to clear the air and in the name of professional decorum: I hope we can have clear communication once again." and let it go...
Maybe make a xerox copy of the card...just in case there is any fallout.
2006-10-05 10:40:43 · answer #6 · answered by samantha h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shes mad, cuz you said it in front of a supervisor. All you can do is say youre sorry and go on. I wouldnt worry about it anymore. If shes a decent person, she'll except your apology. If she doesnt, well then, OH WELL.....you cant dwell on it. Shes the one that started the chat, not you.
2006-10-05 10:37:01 · answer #7 · answered by ~~ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Apologize. That's the adult/right thing to do. She sounds a little sulky, and I bet you'd like to just tell her to f off and not be so childish, butttttt that's probably wrong :)
Just take her aside some day or write her a letter, explaining it straight out..without implying that she is wrong..haha
If she can't accept, it's her problem.
Good luck!
2006-10-05 10:39:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like for some reason the jokes that used to ammuse her now irritate her. Sounds like something has changed with her to make her angrier. Maybe, if she won't speak to you, send an email or letter/memo and just ask if she is allright. Tell her you are there when she needs to talk.
2006-10-05 10:37:29 · answer #9 · answered by digitalkidsgroup 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No! You attempted to apologize, and she shut down.. It is up to her now to get over it. You did your part. She is being the immature one. Her sup. knows now what went on, and is fine about it. Forget her and move on. She will see who's being mature about it soon enough, and if not, she has major problems anyway that go beyond this situation.
2006-10-05 10:53:29 · answer #10 · answered by sshhmmee2000 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋