husband issues?

Question

I have been married for 2 years. My husband is a very cruel person. He has treated me like property, said very mean and hurtful things about my children and my self. then he says how sorry he is.

I have moved out, I have got a civil protection order. Police do nothing

Answer 1

Be very careful this kind of man can also be very dangerous. You need to get a restraining order and make sure he is served with it and then the police will have something to act upon. You said you have moved out, are you in a secure location? If not you may need to move again and try to do it without him finding out where you are living. Be sure to change your phone number and get it unlisted. Do you have a close friend or family nearby, set up a time for them to call you everyday and if you do not answer the phone to have them call police to check on you. Are your kids school age? If so be sure to have a pass word known only to you and them so if someone tries to pick them up and say they are coming from you then the kids would know to ask for the password. Be sure to tell them to not go with your ex. Also you might want to put them in a different school and tell the school officials why you are moving them so that they know not to give out any information about your children. Stalkers and ex-husbands can be very dangerous people take all precautions to keep you and your children safe. Good luck.

Answer 2

Your husband’s apologies aren’t worth **** !
Once… Twice maybe… But after that, they can’t mean much.
Get a tape recorder, and next time he apologises, record it…
Next time he says mean and hurtful things… tell him to save his voice, and just play the tape back to him. Perhaps he might get the message… but I doubt it !

Tell your husband that for the sake of the marriage and the children, you believe you should both seek counselling, and unless he is prepared to do so, you will be forced to consider getting a divorce.
You do not deserve to be in an abusing relationship !!!

I’ve just had a read through your previous questions, and noted one where you asked “How do you get an ex love to realise you love them?”
Is it possible that your husband may have picked up on your feelings toward the ex lover?… Did you ever mention it to him?
Whilst I don’t wish to make excuses for your husband, I can perhaps appreciate how he would be hurt if he believed you still had feelings toward the ex lover !
I believe you owe it to each other to seek counselling as a top priority !!!

Answer 3

There is something called the cycle of violence. The cycle always goes back to the honeymoon phase where the abuser tries to convince his victim that he is a changed man before he goes right back to the abuse.

I encourage you to talk to a dv counselor and to take your time in deciding if he has changed. Ask yourself, why has he changed? What did he do to change? Counseling? Is he still the same, but just saying all the right things? And do his actions match his words?

The best test you can give him is to tell him you need time to decide. If he is patient with you, then he may have changed. If he pressures you or if he gets angry that you don't just believe his words, then he has not changed at all.

Answer 4

Verbal abuse is still abuse. Talk to him about how it hurt you feeling. If that doesn't help then you have a big decision to make. Do you want to be abused the rest of your Life? In only 2 years it is this bad, think what it will be like in 20. You will have no self esteem at all. Be better get things straightened out.

Answer 5

If he was a compassionate, then he wouldn't have been a jerk. It's EXTREMELY rare that people change. You need to think about your kids, and they do not need to be subjected to this type of relationship, or they too, will grow up and be cruel, or marry someone who is. It's also your responsibilty to protect your children. Please, don't look back. Look at this as experience, and go forward without him in life. It's your new beginning, find someone who loves you, your kids, and treats you guys with love and respect.

Answer 6

This is called Verbal, Mental, Emotional abuse! The fact he comes back each time to apologize should be a sign he dont mean it. Why? Because he continues to do it, if he was truly sorry it wouldnt have happened a first time much less a second.

If it's verbal abuse now, think what could be next... a smack, a hair pull, a trip, a bruise, a broken bone, then what...Er visits, Police, then what death?

You need to have enough respect for yourself and enough love for your children to get the heck out of there, show him you are woman enough to walk away and you dont need him....

Answer 7

Marriage failures are Courtship failures. You should have known him better. You should talk to him, of why he does this and the future consequences of his actions. what consequences= your kids when grown up they are gonna have a lot of attention problem, and are gonna be very insecure. And you= Hopefully he doesnt even try to hit you, this is how it all starts...by sayin im sorry i said this and that but he sees that is not rele that big of a deal because he think that just sayin im sorry is gonna solve his actions...but then he's gonna hit you and say im sorry...Dont be naive. Be careful, you are responsible for your kids safety and urself

Answer 8

Which Girl Looks Better?

Answer 9

I agree with MCS, you need counseling whether or not he decides to go with you. Nobody should stick around in an abusive relationship. Do you want your kids to be exposed to this? Do you want them to learn that that's the way you treat others in relationships? So figure out if he's going to honestly seek help (he needs to ADMIT he has a problem!), and if he's not, leave and don't look back. You deserve better!! Good luck! :o)

Answer 10

You need out. This is typical of abusers, being all apologetic afterwards. Contact the local Rape Spouse Abuse Crisis Center. You need not to be married to this person any more.
It will never get better and will probably get worse as time goes on.