Funny things parents say to there kids?

Answer 1

Shut your mouth and eat your food
If you fall out of that tree and break your legs dont come running 2 me.
You will be lauhging on the other side of your face in a minute.
If you pull a face like that it will stick like that.

Answer 2

I am not a parent but my dad might say this from yesterday. We were in Target and we(my brother as well) were walking down an aisle and I saw a a strange item. It was a wooden sanke that was sectioned so it move realistically when moved from side to side. I picked it up and showed it to them and said, 'I have a wooden snake too and I do not have to pay for it." At the same I said this a woman and her daughter turned around the corner and heard me and they quickly turned to go down another aisle. I bursted out laughing and my brother just looked at me and shook his head and said that is why they can never take me anywhere. I know my dad was trying not to laugh. I also made a a pretty good Kenny G joke that still sems to be funny. DRAGON 2008 "I BELIEVE IN U.S."

Answer 3

What an excellent question! I haven't laughed so much in a long while...parents are very strange creatures, they teach their children to walk and talk and when they can do both of those things, they tell them to sit down and be quiet. When the kids are wide awake they make them go to bed and when they're fast alseep they make them get up. All the answers are spot on and I can remember being told them as a kid and also telling them to my kids...goodness, overnight I have turned into my mother!

Answer 4

Don't drink the bleach or you'll wake up dead??

You could have died you idiot then I'd have to have killed you?

Of course father Christmas is real?

If you tell lies you'll get ulcers on your tongue?? Every time I got an ulcer I used to rack my brains for the lie I'd told!!

The best one I've ever heard though was at a party, a young mother was trying to talk to a group of us but her young son kept interrupting, eventually she yelled at him 'what have I told you?' he looked very puzzled for a moment, then enlightenment dawned and he answered with great relief - 'Leave you in peace when you're having a sh*t?'

Answer 5

When the are yelling at you about something you did and rhetorically ask a question like "What were you thinking?" and when the child tries to answer they tell the kid "Be quite, I'm talking or I don't want to hear it." Then they ask another question that they really do want an answer to like "So what do you have to say for yourself" and when the kid doesn't answer they say "Don't you hear me talking to you? Answer me!"

Answer 6

shut your mouth and eat your dinner
If you fall and break both your legs dont come running to me
Your skating on very thin ice
Just before Christmas if there was a robin in the garden we were told it was Santa robin keeping an eye on us.
I

Answer 7

A lot of the things I said I would never day to my kids.

For example I say to my daughter, when I was your age, we didn't have cell phones, internet, etc.

I also tell her to clean her room

Gee, I think I turned into my dad.

Answer 8

Turn the TV off or you can't watch it!
Get out of bed or I'll knock you off your feet!
Eat your dinner or you won't get any
Grow up you stupid child!

Answer 9

One funny thing to say to your kids is ...

Spell "their" properly :0)

Answer 10

My dad used to always say "I brought you into this world and by God, I will take you out"...Being the sarcastic one of the family I made the mistake to correct him only once by telling him actually he supplied the sperm and it was my mother that "brought" me into this world! Needless to say, he was not to happy over the correction...lol!
My mom used to always say one day you will thank me for this or One day you will have children that make you look like a saint! Now that I am a mother, I catch myself thinking that my children are trying to prove her right from time to time...maybe she bribes them...lol!
I personally look at my children when they are misbehaving or making poor choices and say "KARMA chick"...they hate that!