my family has me my mum and my brother...mum is now on her 3rd marrage and i think its not going to last and i need you advice on how to keep them together.i don't want to see her get divorced again. i think it will crush her again and i can't see that happen. they never seem happy anymore and i keep finding myself stuck in the middle coz i love them both to bits but when it comes down to it my mums my mum and i have to stick by her...don't i?
2006-10-05 03:14:27 · 21 answers · asked by kate_gothic_slag 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I feel for you. You sound much more mature than your mum.You seem to love her dearly, but if this is her 3rd marriage it suggests that she is either a very poor judge of men or that there are other problems with her...maybe her expectations of her partners is unrealistic.I think maybe you should try to get your mum to seek help for her relationship problems rather than try to keep her with her present partner..that may not be the right thing to do. Ultimately your mum might be better on her own, in which case she needs to maybe give herself some space to get her head together and decide what she needs to do...jumping head first into another relationship should be discouraged. You and the rest of your family also need to be taken into account here. This is all bound to be incredibly unsettling for the rest of you. your mum needs to know that she does not need always to be with someone. It is ok for her to be on her own. She has you for support. Your mother is so very lucky to have as wonderful and caring a daughter as you...you tell her that and maybe she'll do what's best for all of you and let you get on with being a young person enjoying life. I really wish you well. Good Luck xoxoxox
2006-10-08 14:01:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is about being together and facing the bad times with the good. That means both have to work hard at it and harder in the bad times. If they split up it usually means replacing one set of problems for a different set of problems, it is no easier.
Sometimes it just takes the two people to do something totally different like a new interest, leisure activity or place to go, to bring them back together. Of course they need to find something they will do together not as individuals.
Some times they are so involved in doing what needs to be done that they need to take a break and spend quality time with each other. They will always find away to get the other jobs done at another time.
The harsh reality is that they may not be suited to each other but so many times people separate because they are too lazy to see if they can make it work.
I am not saying your parents fit this category as don't know them.
2006-10-05 10:28:16 · answer #2 · answered by philipscottbrooks 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The family that prays together, stays together. Open communication is a must in any relationship whether its a family or a personal relationship, you have to be able to express your feelings and your thoughts to one another. Maybe your mom and stepdad should sit down and talk about what may be going on, take a vacation or 2nd honeymoon to rekindle the fire they once had for each other. You should stick by your mom no matter what, but at the same time you still can voice your opinion to her about how you feel. Good luck to all of you.
2006-10-05 10:20:13 · answer #3 · answered by 2"CUTE"2B30 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes nomatter what you need to stick by your mom. Honestly the only thing you can do is maybe give them both a setting where they can have a nice long cenversation without being interupted. This should happen on a regular basis. Often when a couple is having difficulties they just need to talk and listen to what the other has to say. My wife and I have gotten over many disagreements by talking.
Best of luck to you
2006-10-05 10:20:16 · answer #4 · answered by St.Anger 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try telling your mum how you feel, she may be surprised to find you have deep feelings on this. Mum's don't automatically know what affects their children. If she does get divorced, yes you should stick by her.
Have you tried getting support through prayer? God does answer prayers and many churches have amazing groups of people of all ages, who will encourage and support you through this.
You don't say where you are but I'm in a great church in the UK and they have churches all over the world
2006-10-05 13:55:35 · answer #5 · answered by good tree 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should involve some one bigger if you are too young to help them solve the issue. If you cannot find one then please arrange an open house in an open room with water and where you can keep most of the things blue or light in colour.
Then let them burst but ensure no one else will interfere into the matter except you and tell both of them not to use hard words.
Last but not the least pray for the best.
2006-10-05 10:47:23 · answer #6 · answered by wajahat_nassar 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Kate
what a lot you have on your shoulders, Yes your right you must stick by your mum as she brought you into the world and looked after you till not. All you can do is your best. You seem to be doing fine up to not. I wish i could help you more
2006-10-05 10:30:17 · answer #7 · answered by chass_lee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How would you feel if the boot was on the other foot and your mum was interfering in your relationship! Only they can work it out together and yes you will be there for your mum if she wants advice or a shoulder to cry on. Think twice before acting!
2006-10-05 10:33:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you need to stick by your mom's side. You and your brother are your mom's stars in life. Keeping a bad relationship together isn't always the answer. You have to allow your mom to make her own decisions, we learn by mistakes. I feel as long as your mom knows you are by her side and love her she will be able to make it through anything.
If they aren't happy together anymore, then being apart could be the answer. It doesn't mean you can't still talk and see this man, whom you've grown to love, it just means they can't live together.
I know I get along better now with my ex husband now that we aren't married, this helps a lot with the raising of our three children.
Good luck, hon!
2006-10-05 10:18:29 · answer #9 · answered by razzyrascal 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't HAVE to do anything because as you say it is your mum's life and she will live it the way she wants regardless. I would sit back , keep an open mind and when the time comes if need be support your mum.
2006-10-05 12:29:53 · answer #10 · answered by cr 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋