i have been dating this guy for 3years and he has a child by someone i really hate. Itreally bothers me and i dont know what i can do. At first i didnt care because I never saw the kid but now he asked me to marry him and i dont know if i can. What can i do? The child is always gonna be in his life, should i back out?
2006-10-05 03:10:39 · 12 answers · asked by LIVEit2TheFullEST 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I know it's not necessarily the child that you are trying to avoid. It's probably that raunchy baby mama and her drama that she may bring into your home and of course it's only because they have a child together. I am in the same boat. It was hard at first but I truly love my husband and his child so I had to get over that. My love for those two are way stronger than me not being happy because she is not happy for whatever reason. You have to also understand that it is his duty to provide for the child. If he didn't, then you shouldn't want a deadbeat dad for a husband right? So look at it this way. As long as your fiance is doing his job by you and his child, then you should be proud to call him your man. If you leave him because of a child then you don't love him in the first place. So it's natural to feel scared, but I had to experience it myself and became comfortable. If you love him, you should do the same. Good luck.
2006-10-05 03:17:11 · answer #1 · answered by i have a taste for waffles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love him then marry him. The big thing is, is do you like the child? If you do then it should not matter who was the one that had the child. My boyfriend has a little girl, but I did not have her. But I love her just as my own, I might not like her blood mom but I will not hold that to her. But no mater what I will be there for her and her dad. So just because you don't like the mom you should give the child a good time with you and the child's dad. Hope this helps some have a good day.
2006-10-05 10:20:00 · answer #2 · answered by littlered 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going to try and refrain from some of the things I was thinking while reading this...
Anyway, if you dont like his son, do the kid a favor and dont marry him. When you marry someone with a child, you are taking in the child as well. Whether or not he lives with you guys, he will always be there and he needs to be put first in his fathers eyes.
2006-10-05 10:14:46 · answer #3 · answered by Barbi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should back out. The child is part of him. And if you love him, you need to love the child. If you don't, it could lead to major problems in the future. You don't want to create any division between him and his child. The kid has had enough problems I'm sure (or at least will) with the separation of their parents. Having a step mom that isn't ok with them won't help. So make a decision and stick to it.
2006-10-05 10:14:07 · answer #4 · answered by baybiegurl777 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should stay with him.It is no different for a man when he finds a woman with a child.So think about it him and his child comes as a package thats the same thing women tell men,we come as a package.Take time to learn the child never know you might find you like children.Now also,do you have any children if so did he make a big deal out of it when he met you
2006-10-05 10:17:11 · answer #5 · answered by E A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a mother myself, a guy would have to accept the fact that i had a child or i couldnt date him because of course my child come first. The same applies when the guy has the child. If you marry him that child becomes your child too.You have to be ready to be a step mom. If you can walk in those shoes I'd say go for it, if not please back out now.
2006-10-05 10:17:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you should have backed out before you went this far. First of all its not the child's fault you don't like his mom. If you cant see past that you need to get out now. Because the world is messed up enough without another lil boy being without his father.
2006-10-05 10:13:48 · answer #7 · answered by blwatson41 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No you should not back out if you love this guy then his ex should not be a problem. And if the ex is someone you hate who cares it is what youand the guy have together you can not change his past, it is not the kids fault
2006-10-05 11:12:42 · answer #8 · answered by whats up all 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If, for whatever reason you don't like the kid then yes back out. Do you really want to be the evil step-mother?
2006-10-05 10:13:27 · answer #9 · answered by St.Anger 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the man ur getting married to will be part of ur life n the child is part of him and he's a part of you...
if u love him, you shud be able to make sacrifices that would probably be worth it in the end
2006-10-05 10:15:13 · answer #10 · answered by M!Z3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋