Ok so here is the story. About 3 years ago me and my hubby were going threw a hard time and were seperated for about 5 mos. During that time I was talking to one of my really good male friends and was really upset and we kissed. I felt really bad about and stopped talking to that guy. me and my hubby worked things out and were really happy. What I did was eating me up inside so about a mo ago I told my hubby what had happened. The way he reacted you would have thought that I had slept with this other guy. I am now on a constint rollercoaster. He has made me feel like I am a inch tall, and I have never been more depressed in my whole life.
Is there a way for us to be happy together again? He says that he still loves me, and thinks about me when he is at work, but his actions are the exact oppisite.
So I guess I'm asking do you all think we can make it threw this or should I cut my losses and move on?
2006-10-05 02:22:23 · 21 answers · asked by Icara4ewu 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
could this come from his insecurities? Around the time this kiss happened he came over drunk off his a@# and told me he was with another woman. I would use his exact words but inaproprate. When he sobered up I asked him about it and and he didn't even remember saying it to me and clames that he never did anything with anyone he's sure he would remember. I forgave him for that why is he blowing out of proportion what I did?
2006-10-05 07:12:41 · update #1
You made a mistake..you owned up to it thats good. I think you felt guilty, but I think you did the right thing by telling the truth. Especially if you both were seperated and all you did was kiss and you did tell him you did this. I think he needs to find it in his heart to forgive you. Maybe seek consuellling. I am telling you talking to someone outside ones sistuation helps. It has helped me and surely it will make both of you more aware of your actions & past behaviors. consider this if it doesn't work..maybe the marriage is over and I am sorry... BUT AGAIN its better to know then not to.
2006-10-05 02:27:04 · answer #1 · answered by Confused4life 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think you should cut your losses! If you think that it's worth it to just throw away your whole marriage (when it seems you two still care for eachother) over something this meaningless than why are you asking us??
Your husband is obviously hurt by what you did, and he has a right to be! Suck it up! You messed up, now you have to accept your husbands feelings of pain and anger and try to get through it. I honestly don't think your husband would leave you for kissing another man when you were separated... but you have to give him time to get over it and learn to trust you again.
2006-10-05 02:33:37 · answer #2 · answered by jenieatworld 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds to me like he's not being honest about forgiving you. if he says one thing and acts in a way that is contrary to what he says, then he is still harboring negative feelings. you need to have a long, uninterrupted chat (i'm talking hours...devote as much time as possible...don't stop until you've come to some conclusion) if this doesn't work, marriage counseling is an option. evey marriage is worth saving.
2006-10-05 02:30:36 · answer #3 · answered by iittghy? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm wondering if he was a perfect angel during those 5 months of separation? You can work thru it if that's what both of you choose to do. Don't allow him to keep on making you feel bad about it... make him realize that you already feel bad enough about it, without him "kicking you when you're down."
2006-10-05 02:51:59 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to have an open discussion night with your husband. i mean one of those talks that will be honest and probably painful. until you both know whats on the others mind, you will feel like your in a void. after the discussion you have to think about the others feelings and then decide whether or not you can stay together. it takes time but communication helps
2006-10-05 02:29:56 · answer #5 · answered by Quociana L 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell your husband that if he can’t be ‘man enough’ to accept that you made a mistake, and to forgive you for doing so, then he isn’t worthy of remaining your husband. Remind him that all you have is his word that he didn’t do anything with anyone else while you and he were separated, and if you are prepared to believe him, then he should learn to believe and trust you.
Suggest to your husband that you both need to seek counselling, and that unless he is prepared to do so, you will have no choice other than to end the marriage !!!
2006-10-05 02:24:19 · answer #6 · answered by I_C_Y_U_R 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Why don't treat him like he is treating you for a change you did nothing wrong you guys were separated what make you think he told you everything that he did during that time
he wants to be a jerk well tell him that is fine by you
he either move on or move out because you are not going to continue putting up with his mental abuse
Good luck
2006-10-05 02:29:22 · answer #7 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You betrayed his trust - asking him to "get over it" after only a month is unreasonable, IMHO. He's likely wondering "What else did she do that I don't know about?"
If you want to save your marriage, talk to him. He needs to know that you're not hiding anything from him, that you're sorry it happened, and that it isn't indicative of anything else happening. That you cut off contact with the guy because YOU felt bad about it should hopefully help.
2006-10-05 03:15:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
what you need to do is talk and talk get everything on the table and then after everything is out that is the last time you will talk about it and then let time heal the rest.. my wife cheated on me emotionally for 4 year with a on-line guy and did not tell me about it .. so one day she told me everything and we put everything on the table and we have never said anything about scenes and we are both still happy married and life is good ...
good luck
2006-10-05 02:29:43 · answer #9 · answered by celticdragon 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
no no no you 2 got back after 5 Mon you have to talk it out don't give up you and have each other NOW MAKE it WORK good luck
2006-10-05 02:36:03 · answer #10 · answered by freeman3905@sbcglobal.net 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋