Late last night the phone rang and i heard a terrible cry on the other line, it was my neice. She is the same age as my son...14. She went to her best friends sleep over and got pregnant. My neice and I have been very close and i can not magine this sweet little girl getting prefnant. I want to be here for her, but i am hurt. What should i do?
2006-10-05 02:16:27 · 22 answers · asked by lildude43277 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
At 14?!?!? Take her STRAIGHT to the nearest abortion clinic before her life is ruined, and then mover her away! DAMN!!!!
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I am SHOCKED at all the people out here that are basicly saying that it is OKAY for this 14 year old LITTLE GIRL to have this child. Yes, she could have it, and still go to school, but she will be RUINED for the rest of her life. I'm sure if she had an abortion, she will get over it, LEARN from her mistakes, and MOVE on with her life. The thought of this little girl having a baby, is sickening to me. Isn't that the same as saying that it is alright for babies to have babies?
2006-10-05 02:22:10 · answer #1 · answered by One Race The Human Race 5 · 1⤊ 4⤋
All you can do is let her know how much you love her and that you will be there for her no matter what. I know you are hurt but this isn't about how you feel. You need to be worried about how she feels. Don't tell her how upset you are because that may make matters worse and you don't want her to freak out any more than she already is. Just let her know you care and try to support her no matter where things go from here. You have to stress to her that even though she has made a mistake you still love her and always will. She needs a lot of reassurance right now. Try not to judge her for what she did because she is going through a really tough time. You can help her by getting her into a doctor and maybe trying to help her get some counselling. Good Luck
2006-10-05 02:24:50 · answer #2 · answered by kjclaycamp82 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You do need to talk with her mother. You need to let her know all the options she has to choose from. Abortion-adoption- or having the baby. This is alot for her age- but so was having sex. My heart is with u both! I have a 16 year old son and I would TOTALLY want to know about it because I would be there for her all the way and help in anyway I could. The boys parents need to know also in time once u have decided what to do. The only thing u can really do is be there for her when u tell her mom- stand by her side thru it all no matter what and let her know she is still loved even though she made this mistake in life. Im glad she has someone who loves her as u do!
2006-10-05 15:12:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, 14 is young but I do not agree with the one gilrs comment about an abortion. Yes it is true that IS young to have a child but how do you know what her mental state will be like if that is done. Also, I think that if you are / were grown enough to do the deed then you are old enough to learn to take responsibility for your actions. IF she is to have the abortion then she needs to understand that an abortion is not a "get out of jail for free pass" and that she made a mistake, and it should not happen again untiol she is older and ready. You just do not go around having an abortion because you were irresponsible. I would NOT put too much into the boy whose baby it is - I mean grown men can't even own up to children so...- she will more than likely, (but maybe not...but probably so) have to rais e this child as a single parent but NOT with out support if she does keep the child. She came to you becasue obviously she trust you and feels comfortable confiding in you. I do agree with telling her to let her parents know, I am not sure what they are like but hopefully they will not go off the deep end...too much. They will let her know what she let happen was irresponsible and that IF she is going to be sexually active then she needs to learn to use contraceptives...or that she is too young anyhow and let her know these young boys out her are not looking for lifemates yets so don't be fooled by the slick talk. She needs support and GUIDANCE most of all regardless of what is decided. I wish her the best of luck, I had a child young, I was in college though so I was on my own and basically grown but still, I was unmarried and young. It can be done, but please be supportive of whatever decision is best for her.
2006-10-05 02:38:59 · answer #4 · answered by S'Rae 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes she has made a mistake but she will need someone like you to be there for her. When anyone feel like they have no one at a time of need, they do crazy things. I am sure she is a pretty decent young lady who just got into a pretty messy situation. It will take some time for her parents to get used to the idea b/c of her age but in the mean time, she needs you. I think you're really great to have a close relationship like that with her. You don't usually find that in uncles. Be there as much as you can. I know it hurts. I am pretty sure you wanted more for her. Trust me, she will feel pain when that baby gets here b/c its hard work when you're a good parent.
2006-10-05 02:26:30 · answer #5 · answered by Honesty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be there for her, but that doesn't mean you have to agree with what she did if you really don't. You should let her know that everyone makes mistakes but that we shouldn't continue making the same ones over, and over again. You have a right to your feelings. Also, consider the most disturbing thing in all of this; where were the parents of her friend? Do they just let guys go into their daughter's bedroom unsupervised? Your family should be asking some pretty tough questions to these "parents" who were hosting the sleep-over.
2006-10-05 06:39:48 · answer #6 · answered by red7 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure she gets good prenatal care and counseling. She has decisions to make and a lot of heavy ones at that. She will need to choose with her family whether or not to keep the child or put the child up for adoption. Abortion should NOT be an option as that will compound her emotional issues.
She needs emotional, physical, psychological, and spiritual support. While you can give some of that support she will need professionals to fulfill her other needs. Make sure she gets all the help she needs.
2006-10-05 06:43:41 · answer #7 · answered by snddupree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to what she has to say as she will need a lot of support at this time no matter what she decides to do. Make her aware of all her options but let her decide for herself what she will do.
Tell her to speak to her parents aswel as she will need them to be there for her too.
Lots of young girls have a baby...get an education and a good career...make her see that it is not the end of the world and she has people there for her no matter what the desicion.
I understand that u may feel dissapointed but try 2 put this out ur head as I am sure she will be dissapointed herself and doesn't need 2 be made feel worse.
Hope everything goes well
2006-10-05 03:09:30 · answer #8 · answered by fat_arse 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow thats heavy. I would say number one be there for her.... she called you because she trusted you so definitley don't go off and tell her parents or anyone without her knowing because she will never trust you if you do that. You can tell her that you think she should tell her parents and tell her that if she wants you can be there with her for support and to help her... because that is the scariest part.... what she wants is acceptance and help. Be sure you dont "leave her" and um.... make sure you know what she wants to do and her feelings on everything before that like maybe tell her you'll take her out for ice cream or soda and like just take that time to talk to her.... and um i'd say tell her not to abort the baby (if she is thinking bout that) because there is other options like adoption.....
2006-10-05 04:02:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can only imagine how you feel but right now the fact that she is pregnant is enough punishment, although your hurt and you have a right to be,you have to be there for her.you said you are very close and that is why she chose YOU to call and tell about it.Yes you are hurt but you have to deny your feelings right now and be there for her,despite her condition right now she is still a child and needs parental guidance and most of all, LOVE.she trusts you to tell you, so forgive her mistake and help her through this. COVER HER ITS THE BEST THING you can do for her right now. God bless you and your family as you work through this. Pray and ask for his guidance he will give it.
2006-10-05 08:52:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What she needs right now is support. She cant turn back time nor should she kill a baby by having an abortion. She is young but she is now caring a fetus that is already breathing. Just hold her had threw this rough times and be there for her when she tells her parents what happened to her and the consequences. She is going to need you.
2006-10-05 06:29:22 · answer #11 · answered by phoenixchickNY 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋