We've been in the relationship for a year now - once he looked at my cell phone contact list, once he looked at my computer contact list. However when I asked him to show me his - he told me I was being jealous. Im not though - It was more about seeing if he trusted me enough to share that info. And - I did apologize for even asking. Yesterday he told me - Your not so attractive when you act jealous -and said I was lying when I told him - he looked at my cell phone. His giant over-reaction now has me concerned - but more than that I am hurt. Should their be secrets between lovers. What do you think?
2006-10-05 02:01:41 · 9 answers · asked by katie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You know exactly what you have to do. After reading all the answers before mine, I can honestly say that you have enough info to make a sound decision.
I'm a guy. I know why I wouldn't let my girl see my contact list. I must be hiding something and at the same time I have to be the one who has to be in complete control of the relationship. That's how he's doing it.
If you're too nice to leave him, then have him start thinking about you and you stop thinking about him. Ignore him. Let him ask what's wrong. Tell him what you expect of him. Just stop whining and do it. If you can't leave him, then you might as well make sure you're happy with him. Otherwise don't just hang about, upset and depressed. A lot of other girls do. But don't join that club. Join the happy club.
Do you wanna be happy? Then you know what you ahve to do.
Raf
2006-10-05 03:02:01 · answer #1 · answered by R. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel you are right to be concerned. To me the question is not so much whether there should be secrets between lovers. The question should be why he feels he has a right to see your contact lists, but you can't see his without it proving you're jealous. He probably has something to hide, and I suspect will turn out to be a very controlling person if he isn't already.
2006-10-05 09:26:59 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This guy is both paranoid and has double standards, for looking through your private contacts and getting jealous for you doing the same to him.
Your relationship WILL fail without trust and I get the impression that this guy isn't going to change; get out now or risk getting stuck in an emotionally abusive situation. If he starts to dislike your friends or "prefer" that you spend less time with them, run away fast.
2006-10-05 09:06:43 · answer #3 · answered by drumrb0y 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So he can he have secrets? Why did you apologize?? You should be very, very concerned with this behavior. He is dangerous guy. He has no respect for you. I suspect you will have a big problem if you ever try to leave him. You should also ask yourself why you accept this type of behavior. I would run away from this guy; he is trouble.
2006-10-05 09:13:00 · answer #4 · answered by candace b 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He should let you look at his cell contacts and computer. You let him see yours. Whats good for the goose is good for the gander. Seems to me he has double standards. I don't think you should keep secrets in a relationship. I don't think it is about he trusting you, I think it is about what he is keeping from you. You allowed him to see your contacts because you have nothing to hind.
2006-10-05 09:10:44 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he had nothing to hide, he wouldn't have shifted the blame onto you, and made it "your" problem...get it? What are you apologizing for??? You didn't have anything to hide..he on the other hand won't give up his contact lists to YOU. But instead, shifted the blame onto you and made you the guilty party. Get it?
2006-10-05 09:10:18 · answer #6 · answered by angeleyes 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's hiding something. If he's not willing to show you his after looking at yours, there is a problem. A relationship is built on trust and respect. He is showing you neither.
2006-10-05 09:06:37 · answer #7 · answered by tallerfella 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When you are still dating, of course each of you should have privacy. When you are married, however, your life should be an open book.
2006-10-05 09:04:05 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so your going go brake up over something this dumb? if your single you have the right to keep secrets, sometimes its better not to tell all. when your married, secrets end
2006-10-05 09:06:51 · answer #9 · answered by bluelitttt 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋