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I caught my mom cheating on my dad.. I talked with her and she said she would stop but she didn't and she lied to me a lots of times when I ask on why she lied she tells me Im too young to understand I told her she lost my trust and she said she didn't care... that hurts. my dad doesn't know about this and I don't want to tell him because it will just make things harder than it already is right now my mom swears she will stop.. but I don't really believe her...
I feel that she has replaced us with someone she knew in just a few weeks?
what should/can I do?

2006-10-05 01:36:46 · 29 answers · asked by Xianpu 4 in Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

my dad has heart problems >_< and this won't definietly help his condition

2006-10-05 01:54:55 · update #1

29 answers

Sometimes its not the act but the reason behind the act. Try to understand why your mom is doing it ask her what has motivated her to cheat on your dad. People see a person cheating and truly believe their is no reason in the world to justify it but that is not always true. So find out the reason behind the act before you condemn completely

2006-10-05 01:44:02 · answer #1 · answered by meanblacktiger 5 · 2 1

Have u told anyone else about this? Do u have an Aunt, Uncle, or Grandparent u can tell? U shouldn't have to carry this burden alone, it's too much for u. Can u go to a school counciler? It would be better if u had a family member u could talk to, & they could tell ur Dad or talk to ur Mom about the problems she's causing u. Good Luck, & let us know how this turns out. We care!

2006-10-05 02:45:14 · answer #2 · answered by louise b 2 · 0 0

Thats pretty tough. Most people cheat because they are missing something from their current relationship, whether it be good sex, companionship, or whatever. The important thing to remember is that it is almost guaranteed to have nothing to do with you - its a problem in your mom and dad's relationship. As such, you should probably leave it to them to sort out. I wouldn't tell your Dad, because then you'll get even further into the middle of somewhere you don't want to be. If she keeps cheating, he'll catch her anyway (almost all cheaters eventually get caught by their significant other). When the s-h-i-t hits the fan, you might want to consider counselling if you are having a tough time coping on your own

2006-10-05 01:41:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Your parents obviously have things to work out if your mom is being unfaithful. Instead of asking her to stop or to stop lying to you, I would ask her why she is doing it. Perhaps there are issues between your parents that you don't know about. Your Father needs to know so they can work out the problems - however, it is probably best that you not tell him. You can ask your Mother to tell him and see what happens. This is a "touchy" issue with some individuals, and it may take a little longer for her to work up the strength to tell him. If it continues and she still hasn't told him, I would leave little hints for your Father and let him figure it out himself and take the necessary actions. In the end, there are two ways it could go: the cheating stops, they work out their problems and stay together or, it may turn out that they will get a divorce. Look at it this way: Two people may just not love each other anymore - but they still love you, whether they are together or not. Try not to blame yourself for any of this - it is not your fault.

2006-10-05 01:59:00 · answer #4 · answered by SLMStacy 1 · 0 0

If she told you she didn't care that right there tells you she probably want stop seeing this other guy. Poor thing i'm so sorry! I really think your dad should know. It's better for the two of you to maybe leave her together if she's not going to stop. You are old enough to understand if you wasn't you wouldn't be asking us for advise. She sounds selfish and heartless. I really think your dad should/needs to know. You don't know this other man what if he has some disease and your dad caught something?! You should really think hard and make the right decision. Take care...

2006-10-05 01:45:08 · answer #5 · answered by Curious J. 5 · 0 0

Well, by all means DO NOT mention this to your Dad...he may already know and perhaps they have an "understanding". And it's really not your business. Even though you're taking this really personal, she is a grown woman. Your mom is unhappy with her life right now and I'm sure it has nothing to do with you. Let her and your Dad work things out without butting in and making it worse. Don't discuss it anymore with your mother. See your school counselor if you need a shoulder to cry on and some guidance. Godloveya.

2006-10-05 01:43:49 · answer #6 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0 1

All though it will hurt your dad when you tell him, but if you don'ot tell him it's going to be worse later. I'd deffinately tell your dad now and ask him to make an appointment for you to see a family counceller, and your mom and dad should go and see a marriage counceller. Obviously, there is a reason behind why your mom cheated and continues to lie to you about stopping. In any matter your father needs to be told, and it should be your mother telling him, but if she won't than it'll have to be you who tells your dad. Just do it slowly and think about what you will say and how you will say it to him before you do it. He should be told and soon. wouldn't you want to be told if your bf/gf was cheating on you?

2006-10-05 01:45:40 · answer #7 · answered by danielle m 2 · 0 0

You should tell you dad immediatley. Thats not fair to him at all. If your mom gets mad at you,,dont worry about it. Shes the one making a big problem for your family with her selfishness. Wouldnt you want to know if someone was cheating on you? Your dad is in a marriage where there is lying and deciet going on. He shouldnt have to be played for a fool. If you love your dad tell him. And hopefully you learned a lesson from seeing your mom doing this. Dont ever do that to someone you are married to,,or going out with, Its wrong.

2006-10-05 01:45:27 · answer #8 · answered by michelle 5 · 0 0

Wow, you are in a tough spot. My first inclination would not be to tell, but after I think about it you MUST tell. All you will do is see your dad be miserable as she devotes her time and feelings to someone else. Your dad has been replaced by someone else and from the sounds of it your mother is willling to replace the entire family for her own personal satisfaction. You already have loyalties to your dad because you have sympathy for him. And you will only continue to get mad at your mom if this contiues. Tell Him.

2006-10-05 01:43:42 · answer #9 · answered by I Know 2 · 0 0

there something wrong that your dad is doing. is he avoiding her? is he taking time out to show her his love? if not that's the problem. telling your dad would make matters worst and talking to your mom doesn't seem really effective. what you have to do is come up with a way to bring your mom and dad closer together. buy 2 movie tickets or a gift card to their favorite restaurant. they'll probably be looking at you weird. but your mom would clearly get the message. just do it randomly. the whole situation is sad and it's too bad that you have to witness it. God Bless and good luck.

2006-10-05 01:43:11 · answer #10 · answered by ShaneA 3 · 0 0

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