Why when a husband takes a firm stand he is "being a dictator", if wife does, she is "curbing a childish man"

Question

I ask a lot of the same question where I just flip the genders to see what difference there is in the responses I get. When asking about one spouse having to control the other spouse's spending by giving them their own account and nothing more, I got these greatly different tones depending on whom was controlling whom.
Why is a man taking control a dictator and a woman taking control has a childish man?

Answer 1

You ask a question that the best of scholars would not just avoid, but run in the opposite direction of. Women have striven for equality for many decades. Your question raises the obvious, that woman has at last equalized man, not by being as good as he is, but by presenting herself as stubborn, pigheaded and obstinate as he. If you live in such a situation, I wish you luck.

Answer 2

its all a matter of personal perception ... the bottom line is that one of the partners in a relationship is being irresponsible and selfish.

i thought my spouse would be responsible because she had to control her parents spending so they could make their bills .... in retrospect, she was either lying or thought we were rich... her personal spending habits were just like her parents. her perception of priorities did not exist. she absolutely refused to be budgeted in any way and would not account for her spending.

be resigned to the fact this will not change, no one has any incentive to change what they are doing, they like themselves just as they are and know the money will be made available to protect their credit.

its a road to disaster, eventually the money issues will affect your love for each other as the resentment builds, either by the controlling partner of poor spending habits of the irresponsible one, or by the spendthrift of perceived miserlyness.of the provider. perhaps JOINT counselling may be in order to get to the root of why the spendthrift, or the miser is sabotaging the marriage. if you dont resolve this very quickly, it will desrtroy the marriage.

thats as pragmatic and non-gender as i can make it.

Answer 3

I ask the same question about the million man march the non-whites did in washington some years back; it was called getting in touch with roots and yaddah and was considered so wonderful. If a million white men marched in washington they would all be thrown in jail and called every name under the sun. Life sucks. Get used to it.

Answer 4

i dont think anyone should take control but when a woman does a man should not allow it if he is a real man.

Answer 5

And people wonder why I refuse to be involved in any relationship...