My ex and I were together 4 years, some great times, but some
bad..like with everyone..he said some horrible things a few
weeks ago, I know it was anger..anyway he left this long message
stating how sorry he was, how he never meant anything he
said, that he was hurt and angry, never wanted to hurt me like
that...Can we talk, that he does not want to be like that towards
me..Do I take the chance and listen, I mean I still love him and
don't want to turn my back on him if this is for real...What do
you think? He has a substance problem and if we can address
that issue then how can I turn my back on him...
2006-10-05 00:58:28 · 14 answers · asked by wicktjw 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Talk to him and hear what he has to say we all have good and bad times in our relationships, and as for his substance problem help him get help, that could be a contation that you guys stay together if he really loves you he will get help
2006-10-05 04:15:56 · answer #1 · answered by whats up all 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hear what you're saying, but if there is a substance abuse problem, then he needs to address that before he can address the issue with you. He may tell you that he loves you and that he will never again say those things, but how can you be sure? Let him get help first, because if he doesn't, all of your problems with him remain the same.
2006-10-05 01:42:26 · answer #2 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first you can and will turn your back on him if he doesn't get help for his abuse problem is just that his problem. I'm sure he's sorry and listening to his talk isn't the wrong thing to do you may be able to give advice. that is where your help and trust ends. if he has a problem and the two of you have broken up then let him handle his own problems and you try to get on with your life. I'm sure you care for him,but until he gets help he's unable to care for you the way you want and need him too, he just isn't able to do this at this time. he needs help and although you want to help and he may try to guilt you into helping him you need to see how much strength he has for his own good.
2006-10-05 01:07:13 · answer #3 · answered by punkin 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, talk to him. Nothing is ever resolved with silence and everyone deserves a chance. We all speak out in anger at times and then regret it. At least he acknowledges his anger and wants resolution. Now the ball's in your court. Be kind, be sensible, and good luck.
2006-10-05 01:05:01 · answer #4 · answered by okmyrna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would deffinately hear him out, tell him if he wants you to give him another chance, that he needs to do one thing for you, before you will give him another chance. And the one thing he should do for you if he really loves you is to go and get some help for his drinking problem. If he's not willing to do that for you, than i'd tell him that you're not willing to give him another chance, unless he does that for you. unless his substance problem is with drugs, than he should go and see a drug councellor for his problem. I don't think that is wrong to have him get help for his substance problem before you give him another chance. If he is willing to go and get some help, than yes i'd deffinately give him another chance if you really love him. I hope that this helps you.
2006-10-05 01:16:37 · answer #5 · answered by danielle m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talking things over rationally is always good for the soul. Some people do need closure.
2006-10-05 01:03:34 · answer #6 · answered by Mary Smith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should leave him. You don't need to put up with someone that has a substance abuse problem. What substance is it?
2006-10-05 01:15:55 · answer #7 · answered by lisa5268 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
everyone deserves a second...sometimes even a third chance especially if it dosent involve cheating or beating.....oh wait a second...substance problem...forget what i said and tell him to get help or you are moving on
2006-10-05 01:15:58 · answer #8 · answered by kimbersweet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs to get his act together first. Tell him to get into rehab and kick the problem first. Otherwise, you will be going around and around the same merry go round.
2006-10-05 01:01:34 · answer #9 · answered by Don't Know 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are already considering taking him back, you probably will because your heart says to . Its your head that says not to. You will be leaving yourself open to further abuse. Leopards don't change their spots. Promise me you won't go back after next time?
2006-10-05 01:06:45 · answer #10 · answered by Cheryl K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋