My ex and I divorced 9 yrs ago, we have a 12 year old daughter but my ex hasn't bothered with her properly at all in the 9 years. He shows up every few years asking to see her, but doesn't follow it through. He has a new family and even more children. I have been in a really happy and stable relationship for nearly 8 years now and my partner wants to become legal guardian for my daughter should anything happen to me, but last year when I asked my ex he said no. My daughter loves my boyfriend and calls him dad. What can I do to stop my ex from taking her away if something happens to me.
2006-10-05 00:27:02 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
go and seek legal advice im sure there are plenty of loop holes that a proffesional can find. also state your feelings in a will i know this sounds sad but he could only testify it but at least thats something else u have covered. i hope it works out 4 u.
2006-10-05 00:31:01 · answer #1 · answered by vicki r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am going through the exact same thing, except my ex hasn't had anything to do with my son in the last 10 years. My ex came over to my house one day when my son was 10 years old, hadn't seen him in like 2 years or so, and said to our son, do you want me to sign my rights off because I could sure use an extra $550. Right then and there I told him to get out of my house and that he will never see our son again. You don't put that on a 10 year olds head, that is for you to decide and not him. ANd now I'm dateing a guy that I am engaged to and I will have him adopt him and my 2 year old son, who has a different dad than the older one. The best thing to do is to keep track of all of your ex's visits, what happened, and keep a good detailed record, go and talk to a lawyer about your ex and the concerns you have, and what can you do to make sure that your current beau will get the child if something happens to you. The lawyer may have to draw up a will and a last will and testiment. Make your concerns heard. It will be up to the judge, but your current beau could bring all of your diaries that you wrote about your ex and all of his visits with him to court, and make your wishes heard, but it will be up to the judge to decide who will get the child. Perhaps you may think about your parents getting the kid if something should happen. What if your boyfriend and you break up before anything should happen and your wills say that you want him to have your daughter. You may all so want to talk to your daughter to see where she would want to go if something should happen to you, she should all so beable to voice her opinion. If you and your daughter don't want anything to do with her biological father, than amybe you should find out what the law is about your daughter divorcing her father, she can be emansipated from her father. Than he'd have no say where she goes if something should happen to you. I hope that this may help you.
2006-10-05 08:08:09 · answer #2 · answered by danielle m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are yours daughters legal guardian as it stands as you are bringing her up, see a solicitor and get a will made out to say who you want your daughter to live with should anything happen to you, as your ex has not had a hand in bringing your daughter up he will not stand a chance. But hey hope your planning to be around for a long while yet. Good luck.
2006-10-05 07:33:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
See an attorney. As another answerer stated, "loopholes" abound in our legal system. The court's primary concern is supposed to be the welfare of the child and at 12 she should have some say in the matter as well. It is unfortunate but I have seen a few ruling lately that could make your desires more difficult to execute. Do see that attorney, one who deals with divorce and custody issues. He or she should be interested in your Ex's track record, make sure you are complete and accurate about his not visiting.
And Good Luck.
2006-10-05 07:40:28 · answer #4 · answered by gimpalomg 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go see a solictor if your ex has got parental responsability giving by a judge then it will be harder for you to try and gain the papers you need for your partner to be your daughters legal guardian. but if parental responsability has not been giving then get a good family solicitor and explain to them that your ex turns up willy nilly and is messing with your daughters head explain you are in a happy stable relationship and that your daughter has got a step dad who she refers to and loves has daddy. tell the solicitors that it is you and your partner that provide for your daughter, explain what your ex has got her or done for her apart from makeing her up-set and drifting in and out of her life when he feels like it.
also you can have your little girls surname the same has your partners which will give him a bit more rights over your daughter by going to the citazins advice and expain to them that you are the sole carer of your daughter but would like your daughter to carry your partners surname and providing there is no problems to stop it from taking place the citazins advice will draw up the required paperwork, and your ex will never need to know about the change which has i said before will give your partner more of a legall side to your daughter. i think there is also some sort of will you can do that will protect your daughter has you can state in your will that you would like her to live with your partner, aunt,etc but you will need to talk to a solicitor about that or the citazin advice should be able to help you out more. hope this helps and you get the end result you hoped for good luck
2006-10-05 07:57:36 · answer #5 · answered by shayney boy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here if a man does not see his child for 6 mos it is considered abandonment- is it the same there??? It might help if you were married to your partner=You can make your wishes be know legally in writing- ask a lawyer or paralegal there- that would be your best bet- take care- d
2006-10-05 07:38:48 · answer #6 · answered by Debby B 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
go to court and have your attorney explain the sittuation. I mean after all he has not looked after this child properly at all. and believe me if the judge sees that then he might just force this so-called man to reliquish his rights to her and then he would name your boyfriend legal guardian.I mean this guy already has a 2nd family and did not bother to take care of the first one. Judges hate that. I hope this helps Good Luck.
2006-10-05 07:36:17 · answer #7 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you will find if he has no contact for three years then your partner can adopt her without his permission, go to the citezen advice centre, make an appointment first they will tell you how you stand. good luck useless fathers are all we need, make sure it;s what your daughter wants,
2006-10-05 07:40:56 · answer #8 · answered by twinsters 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Make a will and appoint someone to take over your daughter's care.
2006-10-05 07:44:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your daughters father has not seen her for two years he has no parental rights.i would phone a solisiter and get more advice.good luck
2006-10-05 09:27:51 · answer #10 · answered by carol g 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋