For the past few months My hubby has not initiated sex, and only has it when I initiate it, or throw a fit. He gets incredibly angry saying that I am the one who never wants it which is crazy! Does anyone have any idea what could be going on with him? Things are really good in other ways.
2006-10-05 00:14:36 · 21 answers · asked by sarah 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is 35, I am 29
2006-10-05 00:33:39 · update #1
Sounds like he is insecure for some reason and if you start it then he gets the feeling you are still attracted to him
2006-10-05 00:21:06 · answer #1 · answered by a1_friend64 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something is not right with this picture. Either you guys have really bad communication problems, in which case you may need a marriage counselor or. . .
As others have said, he is getting it from somewhere else.
1. Try the counseling idea first. Approach hubby gently, as if you are the one with a problem, so as not to get him deffensive or to show your hand, so to speak. Don't worry, you will be able to communicate better if he is open to the counseling
Address the issue with a counselor present. Work out ways to improve communication and all that.
2. If he adamantly refuses to try counseling, back off. Don't argue. But begin to watch him more closely. Don't let him know you are. Don't ask too many questions. Just make mental notes on the following:
Is he late from work a lot?
Has his behavior changed in the past few months?
Have you gotten any hangups on the home phone?
Does he spend a lot more time on his cell phone? Check the cell phone records if you can. Usually they itemize the phone numbers called. Any strange numbers there? Call them once to see who answers but block your caller ID first-You don't want to alert him or anyone else.
Is he spending more time on the computer? Check the Internet Explorer history. Is there anything strange on the history?
Or does the history get erased repeatedly? (2 or more times)
IF any of the asnswers are "Yes" you may have a problem.
It could be an affair.
Or he could be gambing, drinking, using drugs or all of the above.
He could have a brain tumor.
Maybe he has been abducted by aliens.
But the answer is usually the first one that feels right. As someone else said, from looking at the pic you have up there, I cannot understand why he wouldn't want to make love to you every day, three times a day.
Check your heart. What do you feel is going on?
2006-10-05 07:41:50 · answer #2 · answered by Jack P 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You've heard it before: "Even happy couples fight." While that's not always a comfort when you're hurting, it can help to know that there's always something you can do about relationship problems.
This may be the area of greatest misunderstanding between husbands and wives. If your husband's sexual interest seems to have faded, it's perfectly natural for you to feel that he must be rejecting you. Perfectly natural — but probably wrong. If the hot-and-cold-running sex maniac you married appears to have lost all interest in what used to be topic A, chances are it's not you he's dissatisfied with, it's himself. He's probably feeling inadequate or in some other way not the man he used to be due to external reasons like on the job, financial stress or something is worrying him and only u can resolve that.
The best way is to sit down and talk it out without casting aspersions or taunts just talk or let your husband talk and resolve the issue. Good Luck
2006-10-05 07:42:57 · answer #3 · answered by Rahul 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You left out an important part how old he is .if he is past 50 he may have erection problems .If he is younger put some spice in his life initiaate the sex yourself he may say your crazy but really enjoys it .Make sure he's not working to long hours or hard most men would give anything to have a wife like you .
2006-10-05 07:29:56 · answer #4 · answered by john h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, sometimes sex gets boring at home, you need to spice it up come up with something interesting, have bath together,
I had same situation here but I figured out that's because of some of the medication my husband was taking, that was making him loose his sexdrive, well there could be lot's of reasons, stress at work or not enough sleep, being tired and all that...Good luck.
2006-10-05 07:37:41 · answer #5 · answered by happydial 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a possibility that his libido has dropped due to stress. This happens to some men when they age. Testosterone levels can drop very low after 35. He needs to see his doctor to find out. 1 of the symptoms is mood swings. Just my thoughts.
2006-10-05 07:28:00 · answer #6 · answered by Sarcastic Sid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your question sounds like me and my wife. there are times i cant get enough sex and then again i go thru stages when i just want to sleep, I still love her and find her attractive and i am not unfaithfull to her but I dont want sex. I dont think he is being unfaitfull, just talk to him he will more than likely be honest. You just need to truely listen to him, alot of men are the same way they just wont admit to it. Just give him a little time and he will make up for it big time
2006-10-05 10:38:07 · answer #7 · answered by eric f 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on the age of your husband he may be going throght a mid-life crisis. Have you spoken to him maby something is going on that he does not feel that he can talk to you about. Even though things are good on other ways maby their is one little thing that is bothering him have a chat to him and see if their is GOOD LUCK.
2006-10-05 07:19:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could be boredom .... could be medical .... open the lines of communication ..... I found out I had medical issues down in man-land when I thought it was just boredom .... I have been with my wife for 21 years and the flag doesn't rise when she walks in the room like it use to .... but it still gets raised with her help ..... whats a four letter word for intercourse? ...... TALK! ! ! ! ..... what were you thinking? : >
2006-10-05 08:23:06 · answer #9 · answered by Fanuc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you need to make sex worth it. Spice it up, make him go backdoor, or doggystyle, try a dirty sanchez or hire a stripper to come to the house, then leave, and you do him like he wants to be done.
The best solution is great sex, make it happen!
2006-10-05 07:18:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋