Can an emoloyer do this????????

Question

Fire & Rescue Service

VERY IMPORTANT NOTICE TO ALL OUR STAFF
Thrift Company Policy: Effective from April 2006

Dress Code
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctors statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Annual Leave Days
Each employee will receive 104Annual Leave days a year. They are
called Saturday & Sunday.
Bereavement Leave
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the Chronic offenders category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplation's, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management ( our way or the highway )

Answer 1

That's quite funny!

To be serious though, I think that in respect to the Firemen, Nurses, Police, Paramedics, Hospital staff, Teachers and anyone else doing such a skilled and dedicated job to help and improve the lives of other people, whatever they are paid, it's not enough!

These valuable and vital workers should be shown how much appreciated they are, and be treated as HONOURED workers.

Good luck to you all, with my deepest admiration.

Answer 2

Aloha from Down Unda!

Yes & my staff is extremely loyal! Tanx fer askin!

Formula One Grand Prix Suzuka Countdown 2 days 17 hrs tick tick tick

Go Michael! Go!

K-den, M1/NSWMoke aka mikewonaus ;-)

Answer 3

That's been around as long as I've been in the workforce -- I remember a mimeo sheet very similar to that being handed around at my first job, back in 1968.

It's been updated with the reference to Prada and Gucci, but that's about it.

Answer 4

All you're able to do is bypass to the Obamacare internet site. extra beneficial than 50 finished time workers. "The inexpensive Care Act does no longer require employers to offer scientific wellbeing coverage for their workers. The business enterprise accountability provision of the inexpensive Care Act applies companies with extra beneficial than 50 finished-time workers. to income extra study the business enterprise Bulletin on automatic Enrollment, business enterprise accountability, and arranged classes."

Answer 5

i require this of all my employees. this is my right. i brought this company up from nothing. if you don t like my rules. we have a special little ole lady. my grandmother, who will kick you aress. and then after that you will beg to work even harder.I am your god, realize it. and your life will go along fine. fight it, and you will end up behind the storage shed with her again,now stop all this garbage. and get back to work. NOW.I am paying you by the hour.

Answer 6

It's old but it's still a goodie

Shot myself in the foot when I bought an SLK then discovered that the Directors wife had been hankering for one for years

Answer 7

Thats an old one been doin the rounds for years

still funny though

Answer 8

Funny. And, sadly, even though it's a joke...it sounds like some of my past employers!

Answer 9

Thats been going round for ages but would still be funny if someone beleived it.

Answer 10

:D I haven't seen that before, but your boss obviously has a good sense of humour! Just laugh and stop stressing so much :)...